Post by Deleted on Nov 19, 2016 9:32:03 GMT -7
Hi,
I am new here and this is my story. I have been married for 15 years. About four years into our marriage or so I found out that my husband was looking a porn. He was having women call him at work on his cell phone. I flipped out and told him the marriage was over because I think I was in shock. He promised he would stop. Then it just continued. It progressed to taking care of himself while watching porn, web camming with women, phone calls over skype or yahoo, phone calls on his cell phone.
He would say things like I want to make love to you. I was dying inside. This went on for eight years. We have boy/girl twins and I put my kids first and didn't leave. I can't count the number of times I blew up at him. This is disgusting, but he would receive women's panties in the mail. The porn he would refer to as just "harmless fun."
He blames me for his addiction because I don't have much time for him. With very young twins it is very difficult to find the time, but I did the best I could. When I found out about the porn it got worse because I wanted nothing to do with him. He was sneaking around the back yard on the phone. One time I found him out in the shed talking dirty to some girl. This has turned my whole world upside down.
This went on for eight years now. I do not love my husband anymore. I can't leave because I would not be able to take care of my kids who are now 17 financially. He finally stopped just a few weeks ago when he decided to. He found out that I am attracted to someone else and is very upset. Well, what do you expect? I am so broken inside and I feel numb.
On 10/31/15 we were drinking and I had so much to drink because out of nowhere came this package in the mail again. I opened it up and lo and behold it was a pair of women's panties again. Somehow the cops came and I ended up spending the night in the emergency room due to suicide threats by me and then was sent to he psychiatric ward for on week. Then two months later, again I went for another week.
He is being so nice now, like a husband should be, but I just cannot warm up to him. He has hurt me so badly. He thinks I should just forget the past and move on. Why can I not do this? I am still so angry, hurt, have bad anxiety and depression. He bought me two dozen roses yesterday. Could I have been traumatized by the events over the past eight years? I am thinking yes. Dealing with all the lies. I feel like my head is a mess and I am a complete mess. All I want is to be with someone I love. I am so frustrated and angry I could just punch a wall. I feel numb and I cry alot. This has finally stopped and I am still sad. I feel like I am living with a stranger.
I am new here and this is my story. I have been married for 15 years. About four years into our marriage or so I found out that my husband was looking a porn. He was having women call him at work on his cell phone. I flipped out and told him the marriage was over because I think I was in shock. He promised he would stop. Then it just continued. It progressed to taking care of himself while watching porn, web camming with women, phone calls over skype or yahoo, phone calls on his cell phone.
He would say things like I want to make love to you. I was dying inside. This went on for eight years. We have boy/girl twins and I put my kids first and didn't leave. I can't count the number of times I blew up at him. This is disgusting, but he would receive women's panties in the mail. The porn he would refer to as just "harmless fun."
He blames me for his addiction because I don't have much time for him. With very young twins it is very difficult to find the time, but I did the best I could. When I found out about the porn it got worse because I wanted nothing to do with him. He was sneaking around the back yard on the phone. One time I found him out in the shed talking dirty to some girl. This has turned my whole world upside down.
This went on for eight years now. I do not love my husband anymore. I can't leave because I would not be able to take care of my kids who are now 17 financially. He finally stopped just a few weeks ago when he decided to. He found out that I am attracted to someone else and is very upset. Well, what do you expect? I am so broken inside and I feel numb.
On 10/31/15 we were drinking and I had so much to drink because out of nowhere came this package in the mail again. I opened it up and lo and behold it was a pair of women's panties again. Somehow the cops came and I ended up spending the night in the emergency room due to suicide threats by me and then was sent to he psychiatric ward for on week. Then two months later, again I went for another week.
He is being so nice now, like a husband should be, but I just cannot warm up to him. He has hurt me so badly. He thinks I should just forget the past and move on. Why can I not do this? I am still so angry, hurt, have bad anxiety and depression. He bought me two dozen roses yesterday. Could I have been traumatized by the events over the past eight years? I am thinking yes. Dealing with all the lies. I feel like my head is a mess and I am a complete mess. All I want is to be with someone I love. I am so frustrated and angry I could just punch a wall. I feel numb and I cry alot. This has finally stopped and I am still sad. I feel like I am living with a stranger.