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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2016 9:17:05 GMT -7
Psalm 147:3
"God heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds."
When you feel like everything is going wrong in your life and no matter what you do - you just can’t seem to get a break - instead of giving up in despair . . . turn to Jesus!
Don’t be afraid to tell Him how you really feel - “God I just can’t take this anymore!” He hears your cries and He responds to your prayers!
The Bible says in Psalm 34:17, “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles.”
Even if things look dark and you are at the end of your rope - with God . . . your life is not hopeless. You can look back in history and see that never once did God desert His people - and He won’t desert you either!
Jesus loves you more than you could possibly know and no matter how discouraged or broken you feel - Jesus is there to lift you up and comfort you in His arms of love! He IS your hope! You can claim God’s promise in Isaiah 41:10, “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, . . . I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Blessings to all!
Grace
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2016 20:04:31 GMT -7
Hi Gracey,
I have been on this forum for a number of months now, But had taken a break during a transitional time in my marriage. I will let you read my threads to hear my story, and I want to thank you for sharing yours.
The encouragement I feel when I read your posts gives me strength as a mother, a Christian, and for the next few weeks, a wife. Unfortunately, my marriage is ending in divorce. This fact has been one of the hardest obstacles for me to overcome, as this is not what I wanted but what I was forced to choose to do. The one comfort I take from all this is that my husband made a profession of faith in Jesus,got baptized and attended church regularly with us at one point during the marriage. So I have decided to give God glory and thank him that through this trial my husband got saved. Even if he is deep in denial, God still loves him and is long-suffering, so I pray that he comes to repentance and gets his life back.
I am nearing the end of walking through the actual fire. But I have been in the fire so long, I'm concerned that I won't be able to function under somewhat normal conditions! I have taken a job closer to home that is much more stress-free, and I am doing everything I can to simplify my life. I have decided to focus on my daughter, and let the Lord lead us every step of the way. After a year and two months of Hell on Earth, I finally enjoy feeling the sun on my face again.
Ladies, I want you to know that everything Gracey has said is true. First of all, because God said it; secondly, because I can attest to that fact. If you had told me a year ago where I would be today I would have laid down and died right there. I have seen dark dark days the past 14 months, but every time but I couldn't go on I would lay down in the floor on my face and cry out to God. Sometimes I yelled, always I cried. And I was honest, gut-wrenchingly honest about everything that I felt about my husband and even about myself. Talking to God got me through many dark nights and even darker days, so I beg each of you to find your prayer time daily with God. Talk to him like that one friend that you can tell everything to, he wants you to say it because it makes you closer to Him. Trust him, because he is almighty God and he cannot lie and will never fail. Just like Gracey said, he loves you more than you could possibly ever know, as much as he loved his own son Jesus.
The hurt will get less painful, the fear will go away, the worry about the future we'll lessen, you will eventually feel okay again. But it will be hard and you will come out the other side of this a different person...who that person is depends on whether or not you choose Jesus.
Love to you all.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2016 8:02:19 GMT -7
Hey, Broken, thank you so much for your post. I read that with tears and after reading I bowed my head and thanked God ... you see, my biggest prayer in all of this was that my heart not be turned to bitterness and anger and I not lose my ability to love and encourage. When I discovered the porn addiction in February I became someone that I did not recognize for a few weeks. I, for the first time in my life, truly doubted God's love for me. I would tell him over and over "How can you love me and let something like this happen in my home, in my marriage, in my family"? I played the ole "I serve you, God" card ... I teach Sunday school, I work in social services, I go to church every Sunday, I volunteer at a breadline, I am a good wife and mother, I love you, Lord, why would you do this to me? I had even decided that I wasn't praying anymore. I was done! Honestly, there were times where I really thought I heard God talking to me and like a two year old, I would hold up my hand and tell him to "SHHHH". I didn't last very long without praying. It was the loneliest feeling in the world ... I never realized how much talking I did to God until I quit. I made up my mind that I was going to be a Victor and not a victim.
Broken, I believe with all of my heart, that you will be able to function when life returns to "normal". The same God who is in control of the good times is just as in control of the tough times. God would not have allowed this fire unless he had a divine purpose. He never said that he would prevent every difficulty but he did promise he would use every difficulty. He will use this, sister!
Like you, divorce is in my near future. I have lived in my home for 30 years I have been married for 34. It is hard ... Really hard to leave the only thing that I know. My house is my home. I love my flowers and my yard. I love my neighbors. Really Hard! This would not be the end result IF my husband would take ownership of his actions. I told him that had he been honest, sought counseling, and truly made an effort, I would have never left his side. He had an affair in 2003 and one in 1985 while I was pregnant with our daughter. Game Over!
I love when you say that you enjoy feeling the sun on your face ... when life gets hard I sit outside in the Sun and talk to the Son. I have taken afternoons off from work and told my boss that I need some time in the Sun with the Son. Nothing feels better in this world!
You have it so right when you say that God wants to hear it all! My load became lighter when I shared more with him. In the beginning there were things I kept to myself, as if I was protecting God from the ugly things that I was thinking. Gosh, how silly, he knew my heart. It was only when I began to tell him the things that hurt so badly. I remember one morning driving to work and I was crying so hard and I just kept telling God that I did not like my husband at all and please, don't let him be the first person that I have ever in my life hated. We cannot shock God. He has seen and heard it all.
You, Broken, you are going to be okay ... you will make it. You and your daughter will live the sweet little life that God intended. You have won the biggest battle that was set before you ... you held on to your faith. When times got tough you got tougher and leaned in closer to Jesus. You came out of this knowing how deeply he loves you and that he is true to his word; he never left you stranded or abandoned. You beat the enemy on this one. He came in to kill, steal and destroy. You showed him ... you grabbed on to Jesus and you did not let go. Amen!
I am proud of you, Broken. You are a true warrior for Christ; even in the hardest of times you fought on! I just know that Jesus smiles when he hears your voice calling out to him ... Now, me, that is a different story! I am positive that when he hears my voice he goes " oh my gosh, does she ever sleep!" (Said with humor)
Always here if you need me!
Grace
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Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2016 10:54:46 GMT -7
Amen and amen. Don't let go Gracey...I am there with you. I cannot imagine the depth of betrayal you feel having been with someone so long, makes me feel like a quitter! Lol But I know each situation is different. Thank you so, so much for the encouragement. I have wonderful family and church support, but they are so hurt for me and my daughter, their praise can sometimes seems jaded. I love you sister in Christ, will speak your name in prayer with thanksgiving. <3
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Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2016 20:05:36 GMT -7
Oh, you silly girl, you are not a "quitter" ... you are a "starter". You are starting this new life with your daughter. While you have no clue what tomorrow may hold, you are blessed in that you know who holds your tomorrow. You are going to find your new way and be just fine when you get there.
I love you back, sister in Christ!
Grace
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Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2016 2:37:41 GMT -7
I am so humbled by the courage and faith I see in both of you ladies, in fact in the courage of all the wives on this forum that have suffered so much at the hands of those men that should have cherished and protected them. Your stories encourage me to overcome my addiction more than any advice or techniques I have received or read. They soften my hard heart and remind me who I really am in Christ. When I read what your husbands have done to your families I hate that part of me that uses, manipulates and even hates women and I cry out to God for His mercy. I don't judge your husbands in fact I feel empathy for them. I know the things that have bent and shaped me in my past and I can tell you this addiction isn't just a bad decision that we make, it's a brain that needs rewiring. It started years ago in a home without proper nuture, boundaries and protection. The enemy strikes early to take men out because he knows the destruction that it will cause outside of God's grace. I continue to pray for your husbands to have a revelation of Christ's love that will set them free from this insanity and that Jesus will continue to be your comfort and support.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2016 7:23:02 GMT -7
You two strong women make me cry and thank the Lord for His faithfulness and for Him making sure that the Blazing Grace ministry is here for all of us.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2016 11:49:33 GMT -7
Blazing Grace and the prayers and encouragement that we receive from each other is a gift that God has given us. I am so thankful that I opened my gift! Regardless of what side of the addiction we are on, we all are hurt and broken and need each other. Each person has something that can can help in the healing of another.
Braveheart, what a blessing that you find encouragement from wives that are hurting and use that to push yourself to higher standards. When we all work together and support each other, we are taking what the enemy meant for harm and using it for good.
The best thing that has happened for my heart in coming here was realizing I am no different than anyone else that is going through this ... My story is no worse nor is it any better. It is what it is. It took me a while to post as I didn't fully understand that this was not in some way my fault. I got that now!
In all of us joining as one group, supporting, praying, and encouraging, not only does it bring joy and love among believers, but it shows togetherness and the body of Christ working together submitting to the will of God. Together, we will win this spiritual battle.
Blessings to All!
Grace
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2016 22:52:14 GMT -7
Checked in tonight to find nothing but Godly, positive and loving support here on BG. Praise God for you all! What a blessing to find understanding, acceptance, friendship and love all in one place. Prayers for ALL of you every day, and the strength to fight the good fight. <3
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