mkd ... I will hold you close to my heart in prayer today, as well as your husband. I understand the feeling of not being able to cope. When I discovered in February that my husband had a porn addiction, running out of dish soap would send me into an anxiety attack. Those were all new emotions for me. It is hard ... very hard! It is when it is the hardest that I have to lean in to Jesus even more. I now know how strong of a man he truly is as he has heard things come out of my mouth that I have never thought let alone said, I have yelled, cursed, cried, thrown fits, some at 3 am, and he still loves me and he is still always there! Get that!! He has never left my side :-) Hold on to him so tight. Tell him your heart. Tell it as it is. You cannot shock him, he knows it all anyway. He will not leave you alone in this storm. I will keep you in my prayers. Already have you written on a hot pink post-it note and stuck to my computer to remind me as I work today! Just know, you will get through this ... your heart will beat again ... it may not be easy and it may not be painless BUT you are going to walk right through it and until you do, Jesus will carry you. Holding you so close today in prayer you may feel a little short of breathe at times :-)
Last year around this time my husband told me his secret that he had a porn addiction and was paying prostitutes men and women. He was seeing a therapist and I was as well. I just started to trust him again until a few days ago I found an ad he posted on back page.com for men seeking men for sex. I was completely blown away and am still in shock. I ask him if he felt that he was gay and he insisted no he loves me and wants to be with me. He just gets urges for gay sex. I am still trying to wrap my head around it.
I am super anxious and I am in recovery from drugs and alcohol so I know that I need to stay strong because I don't want to relaspe. I did the first time I found out he was cheating. It was just so painful I could not handle it. I know the only thing that can restore us is God and prayer.
teetop: A quick note: I probably won't be around for a week or so as we pack and move. Sandy to her sisters and I, homelessness.
Sept 18, 2018 10:03:46 GMT -7
teetop: I'm still reading Mike Genung's book, The Wife's Heart, interesting.
Sept 18, 2018 10:11:55 GMT -7
teetop: The only problem I have with the e-version of his (Mike Genung)books is the inability of writing my notes on the sidelines nor note the specific line number.
Sept 18, 2018 14:49:40 GMT -7
Amymine712: I will be praying for your situation Tee
Sept 18, 2018 17:49:12 GMT -7
teetop: It seems that I have offended many here on Blazing Grace and to that end I am sorry.
Sept 22, 2018 8:39:07 GMT -7
teetop: Both requests have been acted on and I am sorry I've offended anyone here on Blazing Grace. Virgil
Sept 23, 2018 15:13:27 GMT -7
Amymine712: Tee, how are you doing?
Sept 23, 2018 15:15:52 GMT -7
teetop: To answer your question Amy, not so good today. Too many things rearing their ugly head all at once.
Oct 19, 2018 18:54:40 GMT -7
teetop: Pro 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. Pro 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. ]
Oct 19, 2018 19:17:44 GMT -7
ridat: Teach me Your way, ADONAI, that I may walk in Your truth. Give me an undivided heart to fear Your Name.
Nov 18, 2018 2:09:15 GMT -7
freerein: Wife of an addict here trying to gain wisdom.
Dec 2, 2018 21:58:15 GMT -7
Amymine712: Welcome freerein. I moved your thread to the wife's section so that the wives would be more likely to see it. You are welcome to post everywhere on the forums.
Dec 3, 2018 9:43:46 GMT -7
Will: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan 3, 2019 4:57:58 GMT -7
Dominic M.: Thank you for bring the forums back.
Jan 9, 2019 21:07:52 GMT -7
Amymine712: I was surprised that they were down. Mike got them back up! So grateful!
Jan 10, 2019 4:35:27 GMT -7
Will: Yep thanks for bringing the forums back!
Jan 12, 2019 1:27:13 GMT -7
Dominic M.: Praying for us.
Jan 24, 2019 2:37:11 GMT -7
zat: Thank you guys for the approval. I hope to find the sharing platform here.
Jan 30, 2019 10:33:56 GMT -7
Amymine712: You are welcome! Feel free to start a thread and tells us about yourself.
Jan 31, 2019 3:43:48 GMT -7
Dominic M.: how is everyone out there?
Apr 30, 2019 17:14:37 GMT -7