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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2016 16:05:46 GMT -7
Hi i am new to this forum. I have been looking all day gor something that will help me deal with my husband and his sex addiction. We have been together for 4 years now and i later found out that the whole time we have been together he has been secretly looking up porn and talking to other wemon online on dating sites ex.. Every time i would catch him doing something he would try to lie his way out of it always. It has gotten to the point that i do not trust anything he says to me. I had to go to the point ( just to see for myself what he was really doing) of makeing a fake profile and asked him to be my friend and he did. Now just so u know two days later we had a meeting set up with our pastor that sunday and this was Friday night. I was staying with my aunt that night anyway he started talking to me and then on his own he just started sending me nude pic of himself ( which didnt surprise me). So i wanted to see how far he would go and i did he went as far as sending me directions to our home. All this time he didnt know it was me. So i gave him a choice to get help or im gone. Now he is in a recovery facility right now and i just found out last nighy that he acted inappropriatly to another women by touching her hair. It may sound like not a big deal and i get that but the problem is he is lieing even about that. He lies about everything and i cant take it anymore and i do not know what to do. I know i love him and i feel the Lord saying to stay with him. And i want to obey God i fully trust him. Im trying to get my husband to understand what he is doing is tearing me apart and is killing my feelings and love for him. I just need some advice in what to do and i just needed to vent out my frustration because i cant take it anymore im about to bust. Any advice is greatly appreciated thank you
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2016 20:45:44 GMT -7
Coco, I am sincerely sorry that this enemy found it's way into your marriage. I wish that I could give you advice but I am so new to this, actually, I read often, but never write. You just said something that made me feel a need to reply. You say that the Lord is telling you to stay with him and that you want to obey the Lord. That was my biggest hurdle to overcome. I want nothing more than to please the Lord and obey him. I have been married for almost 34 years and this has shattered my entire world. It had me questioning everyone and everything. I was even questioning how God could possibly love me and let this happen. I still do not know for sure how my marriage will end. I do know that I thought I had to stay in this and accept what my husband was doing because God says in Malachi "I hate divorce". It was only as I began to really listen to God and stay in his word that I truly understood the depths of his love for us. God is a good Father, a good, good Father. He loves us more than our earthly parents could ever love love us. I know how much my earthly Father loved me before he died and when I imagine God loving me even more, it fills my heart with joy. My earthly Father loved me so much that he would have never wanted me to stay with a man who was making the choices that my husband has made or the choices that your husband is making. My Father would have wanted me to be with a man that honored and cherished me, that put my safety and well being first and foremost. If this is how my earthly Father would have felt, why would I have thought that my Heavenly Father would have wanted less for me? Sending a woman that he does not know directions to your home is not wise nor is it safe. He is not honoring you. One more thing, you say that it is not a big deal that he lied about touching a big deal. It doesn't matter if he lied to you about eating the last Twinkie ... he should not lie to you. If it hurts you, it is a big deal. I will keep you in my prayers. Lean into God, hold onto him as if you are lost at sea and he is your life preserver. He will not leave you ... He loves you so much ! Again, got you in prayer.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2016 6:46:55 GMT -7
Coco, I am sincerely sorry that this enemy found it's way into your marriage. I wish that I could give you advice but I am so new to this, actually, I read often, but never write. You just said something that made me feel a need to reply. You say that the Lord is telling you to stay with him and that you want to obey the Lord. That was my biggest hurdle to overcome. I want nothing more than to please the Lord and obey him. I have been married for almost 34 years and this has shattered my entire world. It had me questioning everyone and everything. I was even questioning how God could possibly love me and let this happen. I still do not know for sure how my marriage will end. I do know that I thought I had to stay in this and accept what my husband was doing because God says in Malachi "I hate divorce". It was only as I began to really listen to God and stay in his word that I truly understood the depths of his love for us. God is a good Father, a good, good Father. He loves us more than our earthly parents could ever love love us. I know how much my earthly Father loved me before he died and when I imagine God loving me even more, it fills my heart with joy. My earthly Father loved me so much that he would have never wanted me to stay with a man who was making the choices that my husband has made or the choices that your husband is making. My Father would have wanted me to be with a man that honored and cherished me, that put my safety and well being first and foremost. If this is how my earthly Father would have felt, why would I have thought that my Heavenly Father would have wanted less for me? Sending a woman that he does not know directions to your home is not wise nor is it safe. He is not honoring you. One more thing, you say that it is not a big deal that he lied about touching a big deal. It doesn't matter if he lied to you about eating the last Twinkie ... he should not lie to you. If it hurts you, it is a big deal. I will keep you in my prayers. Lean into God, hold onto him as if you are lost at sea and he is your life preserver. He will not leave you ... He loves you so much ! Again, got you in prayer. Wow so well said! I have to agree with Gracey on this. Coco the actions your husband is engaging in are dangerous emotionally, physically and spiritually towards not only you but himself. Have you ever asked him why he hates himself so much that he would allow his actions to completely destroy himself and everything good in his life? Your husband needs a heart change and he is the only one that can start the change. He has to run from this sin/addiction and into Christ's arms. That will only happen when he hits rock bottom and for most that only happens when they lose everything. Gracey is right in asking you to think about what God wants for you and how much God loves you. There are ways to separate yourself from the destruction your husband is engaged in without divorcing if that is what God truly wants from you. You can separate and still remain married by asking him to move out of the home or by moving him into another bedroom in the home while he gets this destructive sin/addiction under control. Gracey...why are you not posting more? Hon you have so much to offer this community! I want to encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and let God touch others here through you. Thank you for your wisdom and encouragement toward coco.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2016 20:32:52 GMT -7
Hey, Coco, are you doing okay? I have been thinking about you.
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