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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2016 7:18:10 GMT -7
When I think of taking that first look at porn, I tell myself that it will be an OK sin and I can always repent later. Truth: Satan knows the scripture well and so do I since I was raised in church my whole life. He will tell me to do it and not worry about the consequences. The truth is that there will always be a consequences. Loss of money, loss of a right standing with God, a new secret to hide, a harder heart that must be broken, a conscience that will die eventually, a wife who hurts, a family who also will hurt, the grieving of the Holy Spirit. More axiety, more depression. All for the pleasing of my flesh. A temporary sinful pleasure, ungodly, and also has eternal consequences.
The Bible says that the heart is deceitfully wicked and who can know it. I know this is the case with me. I do not know the deep was of my own depravity. I only know that once I take one lust look, even an internal lust look that feeds off of some memory or fantasy, if I persist in my lust. I go crazy and my lust always needs more and more to get a high.
It takes me to not porn, but real women, or fantasy women who waste my time because I given them my time. I waste lots of money and lie and lie and live in anger, depression.
Sometimes the thought comes "this other women will make you happy, you can enjoy her sexually and she will love you and be with you and always make you happy"
Truth: I am married, so what God has put together let no man separate. That is the will of God. God hates divorce and therefore I already have been given a women, and a very forgiving and loving women. Not perfect but given to me by the Lord. There is no other women for me.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2016 8:34:07 GMT -7
I saw an internet meme that said two of the lies of porn are that 1) women are objects for consumption and 2) men are predators at heart
I have trouble with 2) . I never thought that men were predators or perverts at heart until porn entered my marriage. I had always known about porn but had thought that was some sleazy subsection of men who were into swinging, fetishes, porn etc. I had no idea it was virtually ALL men. Suddenly all men were predators to my mind, every single man in the street it was like suddenly i knew what they thought of women really. So it would appear I have bought into the lie number 2) . Problem is, when all statistics show how very high the number of male porn consumers are, and most of porn being degradation of women, how can i NOT believe that men are basically sexual predators at heart? It seems to be there are very very few who are not, and those are either old, unique, or former porn users who have come out the other side? I dont want to believe that all men have hearts like this, but evidence shows otherwise? I dont want to be a man hater. I have a baby boy on the way!!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2016 9:41:45 GMT -7
When we are in Christ we are no longer a predator at heart. We may be deceived and behave like one but that is not our true identity.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2016 9:56:32 GMT -7
Porn is pervasive in the western society. Not sure about the other cultures. The advent of the internet and computers has made it too easy to get a hold of. The thing we women must remember is that we are all sinners and most of us have at least one be setting sin that we deal with. Me I have several...ie: sexual immorality, gluttony, idolatry...my list goes on and on. More men are affected by sexual sins but the number of women combating this is on the rise. That is why we desperately need Christ and we need to reach out to others with Christ's message of salvation, love, mercy and forgiveness. What is really sad is that so many (men and women) have bought into the lie of sex equaling love and acceptance...that their only value is what they can offer in the sex department.
We need to pray and keep speaking God's truth into others lives. Christ loves you as you are. He died for your sins. He wants you in His family. Stop killing your souls with the lies of this fallen world and start living in the truth of Christ's love and salvation.
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KevinesKay
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Post by KevinesKay on Jun 3, 2016 11:58:19 GMT -7
I never planned on being the way that I am. I didn't go about planning that I would be a PA. So there is this other side of me warring with my flesh. P makes me feel good. It always has, ever since my first exposure when leafing through a magazine at the grocery store at 6 years of age. I was instantly hooked.
They say that the truth sets us free.
I'm not proud of it, but as a man, I'm not alone when it comes to finding a women's physical body extremely intoxicating. And if I don't work hard at it, gravitational pull will draw me back into this state of evil. And that is my sinful nature. And many men can attest to feeling the same thing. Just read, "Every Man's Battle" (Fred Stoeker), "The S*xual Man" (Archibald Hart), and "Mars and Venus, in the Bedroom" (John Gray). And the Bible has examples of "good" men demonstrating s*xual instability (David, Solomon, Judah). Having this "love it/hate it" relationship with P. Don't like it, but it feels so good.
I don't believe that everyone has what I have; men and women. But ellekay is realizing that there is a trend between men and P. I'm not going to deny that or gloss over that one. Look at the staggering statistics. And I'll say it again, the truth will set you free.
And it's a true statement that many men are charged by s*x; in a way that their wives do not understand.
And it's also a true statement that we are all broken vessels, unholy, deserving death, needing Christ's redemption and forgiveness.
I could choose to resent the idea that many women aren't drawn to P and thus ruining my dream world (based on lies) of the earth becoming one great big orgy.
Or I could embrace reality and accept people right where they are. I could surrender my will to God. And embrace who my wife truly is, for the love-charged, emotional being that she is. She may not always be right. I may not understand her. And I consider her a miracle of God.
Men are also a miracle. They may not be perfect. Not always in touch with feelings. And it may be hard for their wives to understand them. But men have gifts too. And I believe God doesn't look at me as a PA. He sees so much more. He does that for all of His children. And the standard for me is to view people the same way. Thanks everyone.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2016 19:38:41 GMT -7
Ellekay, I have always been a sex addict. Since a child, I can speak for me only. I do believe there are some good men out there. Some are men I know a little like my Pastor. There are lots of guys in Japan too who are really genuinely kind too. I know I can't speak for them completely but I am sure there are more men out there not as addicted to sex as I am. For one....little children if they are not exposed will be pure I hope. This was not my case, my childhood at age 5 and I had already been sexually active and addicted to all women. Since then I remember as a little boy running to back of the video rental stores where they barely hide the adult video section and my mom had to get me out a few times.
Please be careful with your little boy. So not let him watch kissing even since that was enough to fuel my child lust. My parents often walked around nude after showing...please do not do that since your boy will have a good memory and you might spark his interest in a women's body.
Sorry I do not mean to offer any unsolicited feedback but it's that important for me. I have three children now and I fear they will experiment with each other as I did. God help our families.
I have programmed my mind but through fellowships and God's Word and His power I believe I can one day be a man as you have described, or a biblical man, God fearing man not constantly lusting and objectifying women.
Dear Jesus, please help us and bless us with your grace and mercy. Please give us wisdoms. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2016 2:12:31 GMT -7
Dominic...as if i could walk round nude anymore....!!a husbands pornography use brings more body shame to a wife than you could ever imagine..however, thats an aside. We will be extremely vigilant with our boy. My husband will be in constant dialogue about biblical manhood, i'm sure. If any good can come of this, its eyes-open awareness of the dangers. I never had this issue in any previous relationships so I know its possible for a man not to be a monster. I believe many Christian men do not struggle with porn despite the statistics thrown around. Yes women are beautiful, even us women can find their beauty captivating. But graphic porn is not beautiful. Something has to go wrong somewhere to find porn beautiful.
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KevinesKay
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Post by KevinesKay on Jun 4, 2016 6:51:52 GMT -7
Dominic...as if i could walk round nude anymore....!!a husbands pornography use brings more body shame to a wife than you could ever imagine..however, thats an aside. We will be extremely vigilant with our boy. My husband will be in constant dialogue about biblical manhood, i'm sure. If any good can come of this, its eyes-open awareness of the dangers. I never had this issue in any previous relationships so I know its possible for a man not to be a monster. I believe many Christian men do not struggle with porn despite the statistics thrown around. Yes women are beautiful, even us women can find their beauty captivating. But graphic porn is not beautiful. Something has to go wrong somewhere to find porn beautiful. I was extremely concerned about my 2 boys. And let me tell you I think we did a pretty good job educating them about love, s*x, and Godly relationships. It was extremely helpful that I'm a recovering PA. My wife and I know a lot about setting boundaries and strategies in place to make the home a safe place. And praise the Lord, neither one of them are showing signs of PA.
The awesome point is that we have great opportunity to not pass these lies on to our children. I can attest that our experience and knowledge of this will enable us to set up a Godly environment in our homes, and that our sons and daughters will grow up to be stable young adults.
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