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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2016 20:15:15 GMT -7
I am 34 years old, married with three children. I have been addicted to porn, masterbation since the age of 5. The most time I had where I did not masterbate was two and a half years. I fell back into porn and have been falling and getting up for a long time now. I am not even a week "sober"...I lust internally almost every time I go outside, or see anything on TV. I lust after my wife if that makes sense and have been avoiding sex because I want to live pure, not just animalistic lust. This is my own share for now. I am triggered by any women, even Christian and online ones too. Please do not reply if you are gay or a women. Thank you for respecting my boundaries.
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2016 3:47:11 GMT -7
Hi Dominic. Welcome to BG. I certainly understand the battle you are in as do most others here on this forum. I too relapsed into porn after many years sober. It has been the hardest 3 years of my life. Can you tell us a bit more of what steps you have taken to get sober? While what we do does not make us sober it shows how determined or even desperate we are to get sober. Desperation leads to revelation. Revelation can set us free. Jesus has come to set us free.
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2016 6:43:49 GMT -7
I have gone through a Men's Workshop video course from xxxchurch.com then gain a year of sobriety. Then I joined Sexaholics Anonymous and it did help but not enough. I purchased every mans battle and some other books from the Celebrate Recovery program. I have spoken to my church pastor and also found some accountability friends in church. That is where I currently am. I do not know why I seek to have other women in my life. I am sick but I know Jesus can set me free too.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741 
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on May 29, 2016 19:58:19 GMT -7
Hey Dominic,
I'm a chronic relapser too. Welcome to BG. Trying so hard to stop only to end up back at square one surely gives that sense of despair and hopelessness. I want to be friends. Please keep coming back. I don't have much time today. But I just wanted to say, "Hi." Thanks for sharing.
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2016 5:32:10 GMT -7
Thank you for the encouragement Kevin. I relapse a lot. I am depressed and feeling the constant struggle. God help us.
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2016 10:19:24 GMT -7
Hi again Dominic. I have started reading the blogs and info on the BG website. It is some of the best stuff I have read. Check it out. www.blazinggrace.org/ |
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on May 30, 2016 18:03:50 GMT -7
Hey Dominic,
I've noticed from your previous posts that your primary acting out behaviors match mine almost to a "T". We're like two peas in a pod! :0
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