Post by Deleted on May 27, 2016 10:41:23 GMT -7
Hello everyone. I am a newbie on this site. Not new to the devastation that porn and sexual addiction brings to a marriage sadly, but new to seeking out help for myself.
My hubby of 14 years has battled with porn since he was young. It escalated to chatting with women online including webcams. It became the elephant in the room that we never discussed and in essence, I let continue in our home in "secret". A year ago, while on an out of town trip, he got a massage that ended with a hand job. He confessed it to me a few weeks later. We went to counseling but he never opened up or "dealt" with his addiction. He has been ill for a year now with adrenal fatigue which has been the "center"of our lives. His adrenal fatigue and feeling physcially bad has impacted every area. I have tried to be a caregiver.... making our home as stress free as possible, doing tasks in our home that he would usually have done, etc. Again, the infidelity and addiction have been the elephant in the room. Earlier this week I found that he had registered on a local casual sex site. I don't know if its gone anywhere beyond registering, but its still devastating. 2 months ago I found he was texting with a female co-worker daily, multiple times a day, all hours of the day. I confronted him and he swore she was just a friend and it would end. He swore they were no longer communicating but after putting spy software on his phone 2 days ago, I find the texting is continuing (he has gone so far as to put her number under a male co-workers name in his contact list).
I am meeting with a pastor later today. I am a peace-maker at "all costs" and am an innate people pleaser. Sadly, I think all of that has just enabled him to continue his bad behavior without any real consequence. I know him... I know that he does not want to be living this life. He does not know the Lord but I know that sexual sin and hurting me is not something he feels nothing about. I am sure it eats him up. But I am done. I am at a point to say its me or the sexual sin/porn/co-worker. Because we have 3 young kids, one being severely disabled, I am not able to pack up and leave.... or I would.
I am considering packing him a bag and telling him tonight that we can no longer live together while he is doing what he's doing. I deserve better. He deserves better. Our kids and family deserve better. He can't have me and the sexual sin.
I am feeling lost... scared... anxious....and not sure I'll have the strength to tell him to leave
I am not really sure what I am asking on here.... guess Im just looking for some encouragement, thoughts and understanding. Thank you ladies!
My hubby of 14 years has battled with porn since he was young. It escalated to chatting with women online including webcams. It became the elephant in the room that we never discussed and in essence, I let continue in our home in "secret". A year ago, while on an out of town trip, he got a massage that ended with a hand job. He confessed it to me a few weeks later. We went to counseling but he never opened up or "dealt" with his addiction. He has been ill for a year now with adrenal fatigue which has been the "center"of our lives. His adrenal fatigue and feeling physcially bad has impacted every area. I have tried to be a caregiver.... making our home as stress free as possible, doing tasks in our home that he would usually have done, etc. Again, the infidelity and addiction have been the elephant in the room. Earlier this week I found that he had registered on a local casual sex site. I don't know if its gone anywhere beyond registering, but its still devastating. 2 months ago I found he was texting with a female co-worker daily, multiple times a day, all hours of the day. I confronted him and he swore she was just a friend and it would end. He swore they were no longer communicating but after putting spy software on his phone 2 days ago, I find the texting is continuing (he has gone so far as to put her number under a male co-workers name in his contact list).
I am meeting with a pastor later today. I am a peace-maker at "all costs" and am an innate people pleaser. Sadly, I think all of that has just enabled him to continue his bad behavior without any real consequence. I know him... I know that he does not want to be living this life. He does not know the Lord but I know that sexual sin and hurting me is not something he feels nothing about. I am sure it eats him up. But I am done. I am at a point to say its me or the sexual sin/porn/co-worker. Because we have 3 young kids, one being severely disabled, I am not able to pack up and leave.... or I would.
I am considering packing him a bag and telling him tonight that we can no longer live together while he is doing what he's doing. I deserve better. He deserves better. Our kids and family deserve better. He can't have me and the sexual sin.
I am feeling lost... scared... anxious....and not sure I'll have the strength to tell him to leave
I am not really sure what I am asking on here.... guess Im just looking for some encouragement, thoughts and understanding. Thank you ladies!
