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Jun 10, 2016 7:11:40 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2016 7:11:40 GMT -7
Yes Ellekay - I agree not to jump to conclusions about acting out physically. I caution women to really open up their eyes and look for the signs though. It's not something any wife wants to discover. If an addict is acting out physically, it can have dire consequences for the wife's physical health - exposing the wife to an abundance of STDs that she may end up dealing with the rest of her life. It's something to be very aware of and not look the other way from. I don't want another wife of an addict to go through this - thus, I encourage to really try and find out.
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Jun 10, 2016 9:02:02 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2016 9:02:02 GMT -7
Yes Amy I have found a loophole that is impossible to prevent so I wonder why SA's have smart phones at all. I got rid of my iphone months ago unfortunately I have an ipod at my work that has the same issue. I am trying to find a solution to that problem. If I didn't absolutely need it for my business I would get rid of it.
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Jun 10, 2016 13:26:44 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2016 13:26:44 GMT -7
There is a point in your recovery journey where you have to decide...go back to porn and its lies or run toward God and His truths. When I was finally strong enough to make that choice, I chose God and I trust in Him to supply me with the strength of will needed to turn from temptation when it comes my way...so there is no issue now with me having free access to electronics. At the beginning it wasn't that way. It is only with God's grace and strength that I am free. But it is my choice to stay that way. Does that make sense brave?
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Jun 10, 2016 13:37:06 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2016 13:37:06 GMT -7
Yes totally. I should have stipulated an SA that isn't free. I long for the day when I can live a normal adult life instead of being watched like a child because I can't be trusted. But for people that keep relapsing I still think minimizing damage with barriers is wise.
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Jul 10, 2016 0:24:05 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2016 0:24:05 GMT -7
Sorry I didn't respond sooner, the move kind of took over our lives there for a bit.
He no longer works with the youth group or a church...which I agree is a good thing! And I don't feel that he had acted out physically, though he knows I don't trust that he won't.
Things are stl difficult with us and between us and I am trying to find my way thru all of this. Before we moved I found out he had a crush on a coworker, that I didn't even know worked with him cause he hid it from me. And now that we have moved and he has a new job I am terrified he is just going to get a new crush on someone else. He has also started going to al anon meetings to deal with his dad's drinking and I'm beyond scared that he will develope more than a crush with someone there, because they have the same background and family issues. I resent him more than I can explain for making me even think this way. I trusted him, completely, before I found all of this out and now I'm not even sure I love him anymore. I honestly wish that I had never met him. I know no one can give me answers really..I just need a place to vent and feel validated. I feel like he is focusing the healing process only on him...not us at all. He will be working two jobs here soon and wanted to go to two separate meetings a week, leaving me with our daughter pretty much all the time. And didnt even ask for my input. I have tried to be supportive and understanding but now I'm just mad.
Thank you guys for being here and understanding...it really helps!
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Jul 10, 2016 5:46:04 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2016 5:46:04 GMT -7
I am glad you posted kimber. I completely understand your feelings and emotions. They are normal. Are you seeing a counselor? Why don't you go with your husband to his al anon meetings? You can bring your daughter. When I went because of my dad's drinking, they were family events. His father's drinking affected him which affects you. Plus you will learn about addiction and addicts...which your husband is....the same basic principles work for all addictions.
Addicts are selfish so when they start on the recovery journey they will focus entirely on themselves. They have to learn not to be selfish and that their behavior has affected their loved ones also. It helps if they have a few solid accountability partners and a counselor that will point these things out. For some reason most will not listen their spouses...they immediately go into defense mode.
Hang in there hon. I am praying for you.
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