Post by Deleted on May 4, 2016 6:50:30 GMT -7
My name is Dustin and I have to admit that I never been one to share the darkest parts of my past. I grew up in a broken home where my father was hardly around (I understand why when I look at how unhealthy my mother is as a human being). I love my mother but she is a recovery alcoholic with a lot of emotional issues. When I was 6 or 7 I was staying at my moms house with my brother and that's when I was molested. All I can really remember is being pressed against a wall and him behind me. I'm not sure about anything else after that because I blacked a lot of it out.
From that moment on I think I was always confused and I understood sex in a way no child should. I remember hanging out with a friend after that and we would explore not really knowing what we were doing. I look back and it makes me sad. This disappeared for a while and then I found porn, chat rooms, you name it I found it. I'm naturally a curious person and that was the worst place to be curious. I had my first encounter with a man at 16 and off and on until I was 28. It was never a constant thing but something very periodic.
About two years ago I started going back to church when I started feeling lost and doing drugs and still subject to the same old patterns. Porn, masterbate, Craigslist, what ever I could do to fill this hole. I ended up stopping for awhile but the cycle always seems to come back.
I just long for This to go away and live for Jesus but I know I can't until I get this under control. Thank you guys.
From that moment on I think I was always confused and I understood sex in a way no child should. I remember hanging out with a friend after that and we would explore not really knowing what we were doing. I look back and it makes me sad. This disappeared for a while and then I found porn, chat rooms, you name it I found it. I'm naturally a curious person and that was the worst place to be curious. I had my first encounter with a man at 16 and off and on until I was 28. It was never a constant thing but something very periodic.
About two years ago I started going back to church when I started feeling lost and doing drugs and still subject to the same old patterns. Porn, masterbate, Craigslist, what ever I could do to fill this hole. I ended up stopping for awhile but the cycle always seems to come back.
I just long for This to go away and live for Jesus but I know I can't until I get this under control. Thank you guys.
