Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2016 17:45:40 GMT -7
Actually... I've seen these videos about people who died and gone to hell and back...
And on one hand they are fascinating to watch, and on the other hand they kind of shock you into obedience... I somehow think they are good for you...
(I am sure some of the videos out there are sort of fake or "out there"... but in general they seem to adhere to the teachings of the Bible...)
The message that have had effect on me is that some Christians... who do believe in Christ, but live in outright sin.... I don't mean that they fall here and there, but live in outright sin, thinking that Christ's blood cleanses them (while living in sin)... end up in hell... if this person is the one having the out of body or near death experience, then he/she is about to go to hell, but repents or cries out to Jesus, or just simply comes back to life... his/her life is dramatically changed...
I think this is Biblical and I am just saying it helped me... I am not saying I am perfect, but I am trying...
I've committed pornographies in the past...
I mean I've even heard the voice of Christ saying "I don't mind you watching movies... it's just these I care about..." and I went ahead and did it anyway (this was the very first time I did it...) and it's like I didn't understand what the voice was... It was a voice in my mind, but still very distinct and clear, and as if someone spoke it, and unexpected... but I didn't even stop to think... hey is this God...? It was like I didn't understand who it was... sort of like Samuel when he was young... except it didn't happen to me thrice and I didn't turn around to see who it was....
This was also before I was born again... or at least before actually praying to receive Christ. Then after going with the Lord faithful for a while I found myself falling into it... once, then twice. I was so ashamed and guilty that I left church, thinking I wasn't good enough and that Christ didn't want me....
I think that was the real mistake... eventually I fell into the sin of pornography more... even to committing fornication/adulteries thrice... all the while repenting profusely in between... pretty sad...
I am not married now... but I am trying to live free of sin, and I seem to do it now.... but trying to go without even masturbation, I found myself being tempted severely... and I caved in last night. why I am posting here... I went into these sites (well youtube) and searched for keywords knowing I would get results, and watched them, but with my hand over the screen so I would not see... but heard the sounds and general motion of body parts around the hand... and then suddenly I stopped after few minutes of it I think....
So I don't feel as bad as if I had caved in as before.... but I do feel bad... then I found this site....
So I am posting my "testimony" ha ha.... or my "anti-testimony"... pretty sad....
Going without masturbation or trying to (for 2 weeks or so) even going to dating sites would be "stimulating".... but then how do I find a wife and get married...? Then I can stop masturbation.... or at least it would help....
I feel helpless in some ways....
I wonder if God can ever use me... but the thing was I heard His voice even... but I still sinned.... so I felt even worse.... I think that's why in my stupor at that time to leave church... (Oh I am looking for church now, b/c for one reason I moved to another city, and I think I found one... even two... so I am planning on going to service...)
Oh, I think this may have relevance. I remember when I was in high school... in fact until my senior year I didn't even think of sex or look at anything... when most teenagers are heavy into it.... one day, a lady friend of our family forcefully asked me to sit by her and play the piano. I didn't want to but I did, and while playing the piano, something from her (like an evil spirit) I felt came unto me. I found out later that this lady slept around a lot even though she was married... Since that time, I found myself starting to watch rated R movies... and eventually the magazines and other hard stuff... and then I got saved... and was free for several years. Then fell once (during summer), then again next summer, then I felt so guilty and ashamed I left church, which was the real mistake, b/c I eventually fell knee deep into it, even to actual acts with girlfriends thrice... all the while thinking I was still Christian and repenting in between sometimes months in between, sometimes week in between...
I think I've lived relatively free recently... but still I think I fell every several months or so... including last night....
And I am starting to go to church... until now I've only attended online churches....
And I am trying to get married....
I am trying... b/c I sure don't want to go to hell...
Search for:
23 minutes in hell
baxter hell
here is another good one: www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFt6qWNBlyM
Christians hell
And on one hand they are fascinating to watch, and on the other hand they kind of shock you into obedience... I somehow think they are good for you...
(I am sure some of the videos out there are sort of fake or "out there"... but in general they seem to adhere to the teachings of the Bible...)
The message that have had effect on me is that some Christians... who do believe in Christ, but live in outright sin.... I don't mean that they fall here and there, but live in outright sin, thinking that Christ's blood cleanses them (while living in sin)... end up in hell... if this person is the one having the out of body or near death experience, then he/she is about to go to hell, but repents or cries out to Jesus, or just simply comes back to life... his/her life is dramatically changed...
I think this is Biblical and I am just saying it helped me... I am not saying I am perfect, but I am trying...
I've committed pornographies in the past...
I mean I've even heard the voice of Christ saying "I don't mind you watching movies... it's just these I care about..." and I went ahead and did it anyway (this was the very first time I did it...) and it's like I didn't understand what the voice was... It was a voice in my mind, but still very distinct and clear, and as if someone spoke it, and unexpected... but I didn't even stop to think... hey is this God...? It was like I didn't understand who it was... sort of like Samuel when he was young... except it didn't happen to me thrice and I didn't turn around to see who it was....
This was also before I was born again... or at least before actually praying to receive Christ. Then after going with the Lord faithful for a while I found myself falling into it... once, then twice. I was so ashamed and guilty that I left church, thinking I wasn't good enough and that Christ didn't want me....
I think that was the real mistake... eventually I fell into the sin of pornography more... even to committing fornication/adulteries thrice... all the while repenting profusely in between... pretty sad...
I am not married now... but I am trying to live free of sin, and I seem to do it now.... but trying to go without even masturbation, I found myself being tempted severely... and I caved in last night. why I am posting here... I went into these sites (well youtube) and searched for keywords knowing I would get results, and watched them, but with my hand over the screen so I would not see... but heard the sounds and general motion of body parts around the hand... and then suddenly I stopped after few minutes of it I think....
So I don't feel as bad as if I had caved in as before.... but I do feel bad... then I found this site....
So I am posting my "testimony" ha ha.... or my "anti-testimony"... pretty sad....
Going without masturbation or trying to (for 2 weeks or so) even going to dating sites would be "stimulating".... but then how do I find a wife and get married...? Then I can stop masturbation.... or at least it would help....
I feel helpless in some ways....
I wonder if God can ever use me... but the thing was I heard His voice even... but I still sinned.... so I felt even worse.... I think that's why in my stupor at that time to leave church... (Oh I am looking for church now, b/c for one reason I moved to another city, and I think I found one... even two... so I am planning on going to service...)
Oh, I think this may have relevance. I remember when I was in high school... in fact until my senior year I didn't even think of sex or look at anything... when most teenagers are heavy into it.... one day, a lady friend of our family forcefully asked me to sit by her and play the piano. I didn't want to but I did, and while playing the piano, something from her (like an evil spirit) I felt came unto me. I found out later that this lady slept around a lot even though she was married... Since that time, I found myself starting to watch rated R movies... and eventually the magazines and other hard stuff... and then I got saved... and was free for several years. Then fell once (during summer), then again next summer, then I felt so guilty and ashamed I left church, which was the real mistake, b/c I eventually fell knee deep into it, even to actual acts with girlfriends thrice... all the while thinking I was still Christian and repenting in between sometimes months in between, sometimes week in between...
I think I've lived relatively free recently... but still I think I fell every several months or so... including last night....
And I am starting to go to church... until now I've only attended online churches....
And I am trying to get married....
I am trying... b/c I sure don't want to go to hell...
Search for:
23 minutes in hell
baxter hell
here is another good one: www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFt6qWNBlyM
Christians hell