Post by wiltingiris on Mar 30, 2016 22:46:00 GMT -7
Hello everyone my reasons for needing to be accountable is because sometimes I hit bottom and dwell on depression and other ill feelings that can control my life and bring me to a low place even though everything is going good sometimes even great. I don't see myself as having major issues in my life my kids are healthy. My husband is doing well with his recovery and I am planning a wedding.
I do on the other hand have issues from my past that like to creep in and re surface. As I have shared before in my old posts I came from an abusive past. To much to count. I believe because of all my fears that I am still suffering from post traumatic disorder.
Imagine how hard it was for someone with my past to find out my husband is a porn addict. It was incredibly hard the 3 or 4th time around. See I had no idea what it meant for him to be an addict. I found out when we first started dating but I thought oh good that means he will want to be with me more. Since I was an addict myself but in a different sense.
When I finally found out what it meant it turned my life upside down. No he did not want me so I struggled with lack of intimacy, abandonment issues and self esteem issues. When I would approach him he was always sorry but did nothing to change.
In him I found a new man who was there all along he just did not know it. Yes, it takes some discipline and some guidance but he eventually realized what he needed all along. I have a new husband and I am so in love with him. I cannot wait to see what the rest of our lives look like.
As for my dealing with my abuse I take it one day at a time. I am having issues with my mom. She wants to wear her wedding dress to my wedding. I am dumbfounded by that! My boys are getting older, one in College the other one graduates high school this year. I am homeschooling my two girls. I am doing my best to keep a tidy house I just never seem to get it all done. How do other people do it?
1. Today I cleaned the bird cages, fed the turtles, cooked dinner, homeschooled and delegated some chores. I swept and mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom sink. I also cleaned the dining room table and set the table for dinner. Tonight we ate dinner together as a family.
I hope to accomplish more as I keep up with my accountability log. I am hoping this will help me to not dwell on depression. God bless!
I do on the other hand have issues from my past that like to creep in and re surface. As I have shared before in my old posts I came from an abusive past. To much to count. I believe because of all my fears that I am still suffering from post traumatic disorder.
Imagine how hard it was for someone with my past to find out my husband is a porn addict. It was incredibly hard the 3 or 4th time around. See I had no idea what it meant for him to be an addict. I found out when we first started dating but I thought oh good that means he will want to be with me more. Since I was an addict myself but in a different sense.
When I finally found out what it meant it turned my life upside down. No he did not want me so I struggled with lack of intimacy, abandonment issues and self esteem issues. When I would approach him he was always sorry but did nothing to change.
In him I found a new man who was there all along he just did not know it. Yes, it takes some discipline and some guidance but he eventually realized what he needed all along. I have a new husband and I am so in love with him. I cannot wait to see what the rest of our lives look like.
As for my dealing with my abuse I take it one day at a time. I am having issues with my mom. She wants to wear her wedding dress to my wedding. I am dumbfounded by that! My boys are getting older, one in College the other one graduates high school this year. I am homeschooling my two girls. I am doing my best to keep a tidy house I just never seem to get it all done. How do other people do it?
1. Today I cleaned the bird cages, fed the turtles, cooked dinner, homeschooled and delegated some chores. I swept and mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom sink. I also cleaned the dining room table and set the table for dinner. Tonight we ate dinner together as a family.
I hope to accomplish more as I keep up with my accountability log. I am hoping this will help me to not dwell on depression. God bless!
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