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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2015 19:37:13 GMT -7
Hello, I'm back. It's been just over 2 months since my last post. I am sad, afraid, angry, lost and need help. I'm still struggling with masturbation and viewing porn. I work in a public job that puts me face to face with women of whom I look at and lust after. It's like everything I view on pornsite has become the lense of which I view others. I want to honor women as Gods creation. I see this problem and condition of my heart. Something is wrong. I know this to be very true. I'm begging God to change my heart and help me really understand how my sin choices grieve Him. Sometimes I just give up and don't care. But I do care and want to fight. My heart is desperate to heal but I can't do it. I know God wants to change my heart but I'm afraid that it will be too late. I'm tired because I can't seem to see any changes. I'm suffering and feel all alone, stuck and wondering when and where to turn. Although I'm 51 I feel like I haven't grown out of adolescents. I wish my dad tought me about sexuality and relationships and for that matter life issues. I want to move forward and wish someone would walk with me like a father.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2015 20:35:53 GMT -7
Man I can totally relate to your story because it is very much like my own. Except for the age factor this story could have been written by me. Brother I know full well the loneliness and despair. The desire and willingness are there but it seems like we have no power to do what is right. My friend I see that you believe in the power of Jesus' resurrection. The power that raised our Christ from the dead lives in us (you, me, all believers today). I too forget this mystery. I too believe that all Hope of change is gone. However this is so far from the truth. SO FAR. It doesn't matter if you fail once or one million times a day. Get up, clean yourself off, and walk. That's it walk in the light with a clear goal in front of you. Jesus once asked a man who was sick For 38 years. 38 YEARS! Jesus asked him one simple question in John 5:6..."Do yo want to get well?" That's all. Sounds pretty simple doesn't it? Until you dig deeper do you truly understand what Jesus was asking. Faith was involved trust was involved vulnerability was involved admittance of being sick had to happen. Work was involved, he had to put himself out there. Jesus didn't pull him up to make him walk the dude had to get up himself. Fear and doubt had to disappear. Lonliness and despair were taken out to the dung pile that day. So my friend?  Do YOU want to get well? I can't heal you nor can I make you walk but I can walk with you as a friend and I can lead you to the one who can heal you. Let us pray. Father, I so grateful for this young man's returning. You gave him a conscience and a soul to long for you. Right now he is seeking you Lord. Right now his soul is crying out for replenishment and nourishment. Father we ask for forgiveness for all of our deeds done in darkness and may you take away our desire towards them. Keep his eyes clean and his thoughts pure as he enters into the night. Strengthen his spirit and deepen his convictions Lord in regards to purity and righteous integrity. I'm thankful that he found his way back to this forum. May we love the sinner as you call us to dispose of the sin. Let us extend grace and mercy to others as it has been extended to us sinners as well. This is my prayer in the name of your son Jesus the Messiah. Amen. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2015 18:28:58 GMT -7
Thanks Jonathan! For your passionate heart and concern. I'm not sure what to say right now.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2015 21:06:00 GMT -7
Thanks Jonathan! For your passionate heart and concern. I'm not sure what to say right now.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 21, 2015 14:19:14 GMT -7
Time2Heal, I can honestly say that I understand how you feel. I am in the same boat and as a new member here, just as I am finding people who are supporting and encouraging me , we are here for you.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2016 18:07:58 GMT -7
Dude, how have you been? I noticed that you stopped by for a visit and didn't say hello. I hope that all is going well for you and if it isn't please don't beat yourself up. We have all fallen at one time or another. The bible says that no one is righteous NO ONE. So let me know how things are with you and don't be a stranger. Take time to really heal.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2016 6:57:34 GMT -7
Hey buddy, I haven't seen you around the forums lately. Just wanted to check in on you and tell you how deeply you are loved by all of us here and greatly missed. See you soon.
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Do YOU want to get well?