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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2015 7:15:51 GMT -7
So I've been thinking about boundaries lately... Boundaries within a committed relationship. I would like to establish some with my SO.
What are some boundaries that you all have implemented as a result of porn addiction?
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2015 8:20:14 GMT -7
My list of boundaries included,
1. Male accountability partner
2. Counseling individual and couples
3. Accountability software
4. Open access to his electronic devices and accounts
5. Going to some type of SA group
6. Reading about the effects of the addiction on his loved ones
7. Doing a bible study on God's view of marriage and sexual immorality
Yeah...didn't work because my ex was not ready to submit to God fully. He did try doing some of them but blamed me for everything. I would have stuck to my guns if he hadn't progressed so far and then gotten violent with me.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2015 9:01:04 GMT -7
Did your ex provide input on the boundaries, or did you come up with them yourself?
My SO does not have a full understanding of a relationship with Christ, yet... I'm pretty sure he wouldn't go for the Bibke study.
God is impressing upon me, though, that it's time for me to move out so that God has room to work. We've talked about this several times, but I never had the courage to do it. This time may be it... and I'm pretty sure I have the strength to do it. I feel as if I'm on the high dive (... and I'm afraid of heights!). I'm praying that God will work out the details of where I will stay. (I just bought a travel trailer... I'm hoping to find a place to park it and live in it until life changes for the better....)
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2015 15:13:09 GMT -7
Curly, you can do anything through Christ who strengthens you. I don't know much about your life or finances but if you would like to talk about it, I can help. I am fairly knowledgeable about what's available for help. PM me if you would like some help.
I came up with the boundaries on my own. I know what it takes to get out from under porn addiction. I have been sober from it for 8 years. When you are looking for advice on boundaries to set it is best to go to people that have been through it on either side but a porn addict can tell you better then anyone else what works. And those things will only work if they want it to.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2015 15:18:05 GMT -7
If you haven't yet, you may want to read through some of threads in the Wives Forum. Also feel free to post there as well.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2015 6:27:40 GMT -7
I just saw this... thank you, Amy.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 2, 2016 11:26:15 GMT -7
HOPE22 WRITES:
One more comment about men who claim that they have been completely, miraculously healed of sex addiction. Red flags fly up. Yes - God can do anything, but both my husband and and I have never heard of it. SA counsellors we have talked to have never seen it. They've had many clients who claim it, but the reality is far from that. Sex addiction/porn addiction sears the conscious and is inherently self focused and prideful. I tend to think if God just miraculously took it all away, the man would still be left with all his sinful pride, and self absorption. Just thinking about Paul's thorn in the flesh - which God left for him to deal with the rest of his life to keep Paul humble and relying on God instead of himself. Just my two cents.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2016 20:48:06 GMT -7
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