I found my collection of PA resources in the basement!

I had a good experience this morning when I found my collection of old books in the basement.  I'm talking about some great resources.  

I found my big books for SA and SLAA.  

I also found a copy of Every Man's Battle by Fred Stoeker, and Every Woman's Battle.

(My wife and I have been reading Every Heart Restored by Fred Stoeker)

I found a copy of The S*xual Man by Archibald Hart.  

A few John Gray books including Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus.

A real nugget is Discovering the Mind of a Woman by Ken Nair.
(and many more!


I've read many books, particularly on PA, but these books truly have a special place in my heart.  I'm a firm believer that men and women are uniquely different on the inside as well as the outside.  And I believe these differences are miraculously biological and universal because God designed it that way.  Not everyone agrees with my point of view.  In fact, I once believed differently myself.  But as I came out of my world of s*x, I was finally able to embrace women for who they actually were, as opposed to instruments for my own lust.  And these authors happen to support what I've come to believe.


And it was a turning point in my recovery for me when I dropped the magical fantasy woman in my head and learned to replace it with something that was more realistic.  And these books were helpful in getting that established.

Hey OKFN,

For wives, I would think that Every Heart Restored and The Sexual Man would be good eye-opening reads.

There is a course on Setting Captives Free called A United Front that is geared to wives of PAs. If you haven't looked into that, I would still highly recommend that.

But the Bible is, by far, the most important book to me. If I don't force myself to get into the Word every day, it makes my life that much harder.

"An Affair of the Mind" by Laurie Hall is definitely on my reading list.

After completing the "Road to Grace" by mike, I'm rereading Ken Nair's book, "Discovering the Mind of a Woman".

Wow! I've only read this book once,  a few years after I divorced my ex. So reading it now being married to WI is going to challenge me to the core.

The book basically challenges the husband to demonstrate Christlike sacrificial love towards his wife and family. It reminds a husband to commit to loving his wife in a way that makes her feel good. And it illustrates how men will tend to go into relationships self-absorbed and influenced greatly by fleshly desires.

In my life, I remember blaming my ex for our lack of s*x. She had vaginismus, a condition that made s*xual intercourse impossible. I blamed her for not getting help or getting it treated. But as I looked back, I recognize that my lack of emotional involvement in our relationship was the primary contributor in this physical and emotional condition. It was a pretty wild realization. I told this to my ex a few years after our divorce, and I apologized.

Beware that us men tend to go by The Golden Rule in our marriages. We tend to think, "If it doesn't affect us, then it shouldn't affect our wives." We simply fail to see and be sensitive to how our wives may think and feel differently. Ultimately, husbands are called to "die to self" and lay down their lives for their wives as Christ laid down His life for the church.