No new comer to recovery

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Steve,

I agree. I'm to the point in my life that if someone doesn't like something about me, it's their loss. I dont' waste time on people who want to critisize my life.

I have to take meds for panic attacks and for severe arthritis. I had a "friend" who judged me for that and we are no longer friends. If someone can't accept me for who I am, they're not a friend in the first place.

Panic is a terrible thing. 

Steve, I can't take antidepressants b/c I have horrible reactions to them. One made me manic and the other made me scared and I lost way to much weight.

I take Valium for panic attacks. It also helps my fibromyalgia and it helps me not to grind my teeth at night (I have TMJ syndrome).

Paul, feel free to share whatever is on your heart. I frequently vent my hurt, pain and frustration on here and no one judges me. I feel free to heal on my OWN time. I had a "therapist" tell me just to get over the porn and move one. What a moron. She just blew it off and so did my husband's therapist.

We're gonna try another Celebrate Recovery support group tonight in our area.

Take care and you'll be in my prayers!!

Welcome back to BG Paul,
I don't get on here as often as I used to.  Life is busy, but for me, in a good way.  Paul your anger is a concern to me.  Not sure what could be causing it, but it will be in your best interest to do so.  I recommend the Setting Captives Free course for you.  I think if you haven't explored it already, it will be of benefit to you.  I also recommend the book "Every Man's Battle".  That book really put things in perspective for me.
I had been involved with porn for over 30 years.  But about the time I found this site, I went to SAA meetings, started going to Church regularly, started the SCF course, and read that book.  I won't say I'm cured, but I have cleaned up my act enough that God and I now have a positive relationship and I no longer even feel tempted to view porn or act out.
And I'm doing this during a separation with my wife.  In her words, we are taking a year apart.  That started three weeks ago.  If ever I had the opportunity to act out and do what I want, it is now.  But, I know God knows what I do and I have no desire to disappoint God.  I try to keep my eyes focused on Jesus and walk in the Word on a daily basis.  For me it is working well and I believe it will for you as well if you open your heart, truly open your heart and invite God in.
I'll put you in my prayers Paul.

Steve, I know this might be a long shot, but I've read that Celiac's Disease is linked to Bipolar Disorder.

I have this disease which is an allergy to wheat and all the byproducts of wheat. Even though my test came back negative, my endocrinologist told me to go on the GF diet anyway and I noticed an improvement in my health right away. My stomach troubles, migraines and my fibromyalgia were 80% better in just a matter of a couple of weeks. My oldest tested positive for it as well. My whole family is gluten free.

Here is an article about the possible link:

It is important to know that bipolar disorder is associated with inflammation and metabolic syndrome (1 (link is external)), diabetes (2 (link is external)) and a "western" style diet (link is external). I believe that a combination of chronic stress, genetic vulnerability, nutrient deficiencies, and food toxins (including gluten) are responsible for most of the chronic disease in the western world, including mental illness. To put it another way, I'd bet a monkey that a combination of sugar, trans fats and vegetable oil, and high doses of refined wheat products (as I've mentioned before, the evidence against wheat is circumstantial) are culprits behind metabolic syndrome and diabetes. And maybe a subset of the population suffers at the brain level too and manifests bipolar disorder. Hey, seems as good a theory as any

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolutionary-psychiatry/201108/wheat-and-serious-mental-illness

We now know that we have serotonin and melatonin in our gut and if you're allergic to wheat, it can make the levels of those two be off.

I'm not saying you should go off your meds, I just thought I'd share that with ya b/c I have a friend who has BPD and I sent him the article as well. He found out that went he quit drinking beer, he stopped getting sinus headaches. Of course, there is barely in beer and that is a byproduct of wheat.