Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2014 15:49:16 GMT -7
I need prayer for strength,I have by the grace of GOD 23yrs. clean off dope,194 days without cigarette's. I just can't do this,I have the most awesome wife and she knows everything,all the skeletons in my past that come with that life style,and spirits that tag along are crafty and cunning. I fully intended to win this one just like the others but I let my guard down, and got slammed!! I went to the junk mail in my email and attempted to unsubscribe to that junk,and that is a polite way of putting it. Long story short I messed up again:X So now it is back to the drawing board so to speak,no it is back to day 1 again. I am putting on the gloves and gonna fight because,the battle belongs to the LORD and the only place that comes to mind about fighting in the word is when Paul said to fight the good fight of faith so I am building and stirring myself in the Spirit and the gifts I have to give GOD the GLORY once again on an addiction that has plagued me since my adolescence(childhood)I have to tell my wife I messed up again and I just want and need prayer in that conversation we have,cause i can count on one hand the arguments we have had in a 3 year marriage so far. My wife and I are both hiv+drop dead sold out for JESUS freaks and we met on line through a hiv site,she has been clean quite some time and has been there and done that,but she has left it alone and out of her thoughts.I have come to realize that this battle truly does began in the mind and your thought pattern follows suit.Just a thought that my pastor said(you are who you are behind closed doors and in the dark)think about that and i will ask for prayer now cause GODS word says that where 2 or more are gathered together in HIS NAME that HE is in the midst. I also need to ask for prayer for my wife to have strength and that I can take a breath and realize that GOD is still in control. I went to the neurologist again for my 6 month check up and have been diagnosed as having Focal Dystonia of the hand and foot and Parkinsonism which imitates Parkinsons. I am blessed no matter what this world throws at me but I think I will have to disagree with the saying that GOD will never give you more than you can handle!!I believe HE will give you more so that you rely on HIM more.I just really need to overdose on the HOLY SPIRIT if that is possible. IT ALL COMES DOWN TO I HAVE TO TELL HER I MESSED UP That is what manning up or rather husbanding up I boldly come into the throne of grace and say I blew it Sorry so long If anybody is in this same pickle I would suggest you pray about it and remember that the truth shall set you free and whom the SON sets free is free indeed HE CAME TO SET THE CAPTIVES FREE stay encouraged and stand, PHIL 4:13 (I) can do all things through CHRIST WHO strengthens me stand and rest in HIM I may not look blessed or feel blessed cause I am blessed That is what HIS word says,so I am blessed and so are ya'll GET ADDICTED TO JESUS AND HE WILL BE YouR fixxxxxxxxxxxxxx!!!!!!!!!!