Did or Do viewing habits change?

Surreyfan, Thank you for sharing... In my family's own experience every step you describe did in fact lead to the next one as well. As they progressed down the steps, they become more and more "isolated", defensive and harden.

Just this weekend we talked with a couple, that also quoted and has a wonderful testimony of John 8:36.. Thanks again for sharing.

Surreyfan, thank you for the post, I have to say it gave me a ton of food for thought. Your example of the Pharaoh in Exodus and no hope for deliverance for some, put some major sadness in my heart.
I agree that a porn addict who has deep regret for their actions is not fully hardened, and there is hope for healing. I also agree that there are many whose hearts are hardened and justify their sin, those individuals are the ones I feel we need to pray in great lengths and in numbers. We see very hard hearts daily not just sexual sin, but in the world and our cultures. All we can do is pray and share our stories to help others have faith, and learn to lean on the Lord for healing, forgiveness, and love. Our God is sovereign and He can do anything, if he uses this forum and our stories to help others… that is his will and Praise God that we are brought here to share and give each other thoughts to ponder… Thanks Surreyfan, I will be praying on this for a while, hoping to see what God would like us to do. This may be a very important message..

There are a number of scripture verses that relate the battles Christians encounter as the flesh wars against the spirit. But through the Holy Spirit we possess the empowerment to refuse to submit to the flesh. That is made crystal clear in Romans 6:15-22. Vs. 16 strongly implies that if we live in obedience to the flesh we serve notice as to who is our real master (not Christ but Satan). Our battles with the flesh sometimes result in disobedience to the command to love -- and all sin is unloving as per Gal. 5:13,14. But the hallmark of the Christian walking in the Spirit is a refusal to be controlled by sin. If we sin presumptuously (willfully), we have no assurance of salvation. That is made clear by Gal. 5:19-21; Heb.10:26-30. The great Bible commentator, Matthew Henry spoke concerning Psalm 19:13 noting that the "great transgression " is spiritual apostasy -- the result of embracing a lifestyle of deliberately yielding to the flesh (presumptuous sinning). To make our calling and election sure we must see ourselves as persevering in faith (obedience in love) marked by walking in the spirit and not walking according to the flesh. The words of Romans 8:1 (Majority text version) and 8:6,13, balance each other. They reflect a sober, ominous message.
I would counsel your husband to focus more on Gal. 5:16 than 5:17. In his struggle with sin, vs. 16 will be of infinite more value. Sincerely,

RJC

Hi SandyJWE

See the 2nd post on this thread; also Root of My Addiction 7th post, Spiritual Deliverance, 1st post.

I cannot say that I am no longer tempted by porn -- quite the contrary! Yet I am walking by faith in my determination to refuse its invitations. The battle against sin involves refusing temptation as per James 1:12. The Christian's ultimate victory over temptation is gained by refusing the flesh and obeying the Holy Spirit. That is the mark of genuine, saving faith. Temptation is merely the testing of our faith to see if it is bona fide. We need to remember that the purpose of Christ coming to Earth was to save His people from their sins -- not to leave them bound in their sins see Matt. 1:21 cf. Luke 4:18 "to preach deliverance to the captives..." ; John 8:34-36.

To pass the test of faith brought to bear upon us through temptation, we must come to the place where we are able to say no to sin. The Christian is able to do that. We who are Christ's have the Spirit of God to lead us out of it -- even as Christ was led by the Spirit in the desert as He faced the assaults of Satan. We must realize that we also possess that same power to refuse sin. This does not mean we will never sin again -- we will say/do things on the spur of the moment that grieve God for the rest of our days. But presumptuous sinning is having the offer before us to sin; then  weighing it; we then dwell on it, plan it and finally go through with it in audacious disobedience -- presuming all the while that God will simply forgive us. The reality of presumptuous sinning (part of my own experience) is that we are hardening (see post #4 on this thread) our hearts so that routine, presumptuous sin becomes the   pattern/addiction.

You can always tell the sinning Christian who is into addiction -- there is little conviction of sin; and if there is any conviction, the prayers of confession generally do not run very deep. " I sinned .. I'm sorry...please forgive me." If we are at this stage we need to consider 2 Cor. 7:9-11 and move to a godly sorrow that worketh repentance, pleading God to grant us that repentance. The addict must come to the place where he/she realizes that their election is not being made sure and that God may one day tell them, " Depart from me ye who work iniquity...I never knew you." The warning given in Heb. 12:14 should serve to lead us to introspection,  Are we of that group who do not persevere but draw back unto perdition (see Heb. 10:39)?

 

I should have gone further with an explanation of how I have begun to find a genuine repentance that provides the means to say no to sin habits.

When I was first saved, God delivered me from drunkenness. I stopped drinking then and there and with the exception of one small slip a couple of years later, I have never since consumed any alcoholic beverages. Yet for months after I was saved, I was still bound up in the smoking habit -- couldn't figure out why I wasn't delivered from it after I gave my heart to Christ. I cried to God, pleaded with Him for the victory over tobacco. I knew the habit was wrong -- a defilement of the temple of the Holy Spirit (me). My prayers seemed to go unanswered. I would stop smoking for a couple of days then, in a weak moment, head to the corner grocery store to buy another pack. I would smoke one cigarette, feel terrible and then throw the package into the garbage bin outside my apartment block. I would start all over again going three or four days without a smoke. Then I would think about having just one, so I would peer into the garbage bin to see if I could find the pack I had tossed in there (that's how you know you are a miserable addict). I would cry to God -- sorrowing for being the way I was but not getting above the problem. One day in prayer, I begged for God to deliver me stating that I hated tobacco and wanted to be free. There was no audible voice coming back to me but a very distinct impression hit me like a thud, "You don't hate smoking; in fact, you really love it." That broke me. In my heart of hearts I knew it was true and it caused me to reflect on how I needed to change my attitudes.

Later on after careful thought I prayed differently, " Lord deliver me, I am bound by this tobacco, I love it and am hopelessly addicted to it. Lord, how can I possibly quit something I love? Help me to hate this filthy habit that I love... I cannot conquer this unless you give me a genuine hatred for it." I didn't feel anything special at that moment -- only a sense that I was being transparent with God. I had completely bared my soul to Him concerning my unrepentant sin condition, my helplessness and placed myself at His mercy. Since that day I have only smoked one other cigarette -- on the very same day I went back to taking a drink. That was 32 years ago.

In the matter of porn addiction, I was delivered at conversion but eventually became re-entangled eleven years ago after viewing nude art (see post #2 on this thread). It escalated from there to porn. Unfortunately my resolve to pray according to the pattern in the first above paragraph did not materialize. My addiction was not as strong as with booze and tobacco because I was just "playing with it" -- sometimes not viewing it for several weeks. I began to look at it as an amusement rather than a sin. I was totally deceived. God, in His long-suffering, finally revealed to me that I was not fit for His Kingdom. I was not sure if this meant a loss of reward or my very salvation. I weighed the possibilities (especially with regard to Matt.7:22,23). I began to wonder if I did not repent of this sin, would I be told at the judgment, "Depart from me, ye that work iniquity?" I believed I was truly saved, but if I continued in my hardened, wilful sin, how could I possibly reach heaven without repentance?  Christ's words in Luke 13:3,5 speak back-to-back warnings, " Except (unless ) ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish." I am now spending more time in confession : especially confessing my unclean imaginations. That needs to be the starting place for us all. Our unclean imaginations (inward sinning) move us along to lust and outward sinning as per James 1:14,15. 2 Cor. 10:5 ought to be a key verse to concentrate on.

Hi SandyJWE

It is true that God never gives up on His own. He desires that we become completely dependent on Him rather than placing faith in our ability to pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps. That absolute dependency on God is disdained by the worldly unconverted. Their representative counsellors and therapists generally tell their patients that mankind possesses the self-directed ability to rise above negative circumstances  i.e believe in yourself, have faith in yourself. Following such advice is a sure prescription for failure.

Humans do possess the innate ability to work at reforming their lifestyles, but lack any ability to overcome sin. True deliverance from sin can only come after trusting in Jesus Christ ( ...if the Son shall set you free...free, indeed).  When that salvation occurs, Christians are charged to keep on trusting in Him.  As John 15:5b states, " For without me, you can do nothing." Too often we take our eyes off Christ and attempt to live in our own strength. The spirit of John 15:5 is that Christians must trust Christ in everything. There is no such thing as an issue too insignificant to bring before the throne of grace. 1 Thess. 5:17 is a good verse to adopt in practice. If we always prayed concerning what next steps we should take, we would be empowered to avoid sin. The problem is most Christians don't think it's essential to do this, believing they are strong enough in their faith to handle the routines of life successfully. Thus we only engage God in a limited amount of prayer. That's perhaps the major reason why we sometimes falter so badly when we are being tested for faith.