Missionaries and Porn

mike
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Missionaries and Porn Aug 23, 2012 10:13:30 GMT -7 teetop likes this

Post by mike on Aug 23, 2012 10:13:30 GMT -7

Harry Schaumberg is a counselor who helps persons and couples recover from sexual sin.

The following is from a Christian Post article he wrote:

Several years ago a seminary professor told me: "We no longer ask our entering students if they are struggling with pornography, we assume every student is struggling. The question we ask: 'How serious is the struggle?'"
One missions agency told me that 80% of their applicants voluntarily indicate a struggle with pornography, resulting in staff shortages on the field.

Here's the full article if you want to read it:
Harry Schaumberg in Christian Post, 3-8-12

it boggles my mind that more churches aren't freaking out about this with the problem being so big.

Daniela
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Missionaries and Porn Sept 4, 2016 22:44:55 GMT -7

Post by Daniela on Sept 4, 2016 22:44:55 GMT -7

I only found this post now - 4 years after it has been posted. I found that the issue of sexual sin is really a taboo within missionary circles. During the past 1 1/2 years, I lived and worked at a medical missionary place in the US that, amongst other things, offers education for people who would like to go into mission. I noticed that this topic has never been broached there. Yes, they do teach about the right way of courting, and where you need to draw the line etc., but I've never heard anybody talking about this delicate subject. I've always felt that I was the only one struggling with MO (about 10 years ago, I already spent 3 years there to get trained). I never felt I could talk to anybody about my problem. Well, I'll go back there for another few months soon. Maybe I should address this with the leadership there!

He desires to restore you to Himself, to see His own purity and holiness reflected in you. And if you will but yield yourself to Him, He that hath begun a good work in you will carry it forward to the day of Jesus Christ. (Steps to Christ, p. 64)

teetop
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Interests: EVERYTHING CHRISTIAN
Days of Integrity: 0

Missionaries and Porn Sept 15, 2016 8:14:17 GMT -7

Post by teetop on Sept 15, 2016 8:14:17 GMT -7

Aug 23, 2012 10:13:30 GMT -7 mike said:

Harry Schaumberg is a counselor who helps persons and couples recover from sexual sin.

The following is from a Christian Post article he wrote:

Several years ago a seminary professor told me: "We no longer ask our entering students if they are struggling with pornography, we assume every student is struggling. The question we ask: 'How serious is the struggle?'"
One missions agency told me that 80% of their applicants voluntarily indicate a struggle with pornography, resulting in staff shortages on the field.

Here's the full article if you want to read it:
Harry Schaumberg in Christian Post, 3-8-12

it boggles my mind that more churches aren't freaking out about this with the problem being so big.

The full Blog is worth taking the time to read.
Sexual-sin-in-the-ministry.
And though this Blog is four years old, does not change its worth.
Just hit the Ctrl key and click on the link and be convicted.
Quote from blog:Pornography is just one level of sin, a form of visual sex, or heart adultery. Physical adultery includes an affair, multiple affairs, prostitution, and homosexuality. Other sexual behaviors within the ministry are such heinous "unfruitful works of darkness . . . it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret" (Ephesians 5:11–12). To face the crisis we must correctly understand the nature of the problem, ask God to search our own hearts, and be committed to restore each one caught in sexual sin "in a spirit of gentleness" (Galatians 6:1).

I have pondered long and hard two questions: Why do people repeatedly return to sexual sin and why do people turn away from sexual sin?
One point I'd like to make is; it is so easy to look at the speck in our spouses eye, all the while ignoring our own sin/sin's.

Act 17:11 Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so.(NASV)

Deleted Deleted Member Posts: 0	Missionaries and Porn Sept 15, 2016 10:47:14 GMT -7 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 10:47:14 GMT -7 Teetop could you please clarify your last statement. Who's eye has the log, the addict or the spouse?

teetop
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Posts: 173

Occupation: RETIRED
Interests: EVERYTHING CHRISTIAN
Days of Integrity: 0

Missionaries and Porn Sept 20, 2016 14:43:12 GMT -7

Post by teetop on Sept 20, 2016 14:43:12 GMT -7

Teetop could you please clarify your last statement. Who's eye has the log, the addict or the spouse?

OK, I'll try.
My statement was: "One point I'd like to make; it is so easy to look at the speck in our spouse's eye, all the while ignoring our own sin/sin's."

My heart goes out to the one being offended (Most of the time the wife) yet I am reminded, the story of the women caught in adultery. Remember her?

[Joh 8:3  The scribes and the Pharisees *brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court,
Joh 8:4  they *said to Him, "Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act.
Joh 8:5  "Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?"
Joh 8:6  They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground.
Joh 8:7  But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, "He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."
Joh 8:8  Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground.
Joh 8:9  When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court.
Joh 8:10  Straightening up, Jesus said to her, "Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?"
Joh 8:11  She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more."]
I like what Warren Wiersbe had to say in hi's New Testament Commentary:

Contrasts and Conflicts
Joh_8:3-11 (The Story)
"Is the story of the woman taken in adultery a part of Scripture? If it is, where does it belong in the Gospel record? John 7:53-8:11 is not found in some of the ancient manuscripts; where it is found, it is not always in this location in John’s Gospel. Most scholars seem to agree that the passage is a part of inspired Scripture (“a fragment of authentic Gospel material,” says Dr. F.F. Bruce) regardless of where it is placed.
To many of us, the story fits right here! In fact, the development of the entire chapter can easily be seen to grow out of this striking event in the temple. Our Lord’s declaration on His being the Light of the world (Joh_8:12) certainly fits, and so do His words about true and false judgment (Joh_8:15-16, Joh_8:26). The repeated phrase “die in your sins” (Joh_8:21, Joh_8:24) would clearly relate to the judgment of the woman; and the fact that the chapter ends with an attempt to stone Jesus shows a perfect parallel to the opening story. The transition from Joh_7:52 to Joh_8:12 would be too abrupt without a transitional section.
Our Lord found Himself again in conflict with the Jewish religious leaders; but this time, they set a trap, hoping to get enough evidence to arrest Jesus and get Him out of the way. However, their plot failed; but a controversy followed. In this chapter we see a series of contrasts that reveal the graciousness of Christ and the wickedness of man.
Grace and Law (Joh_8:11)
The Feast of Tabernacles had ended, but Jesus took advantage of the opportunity to minister to the pilgrims in the temple. During the feast, word had quickly spread that Jesus was not only attending but openly teaching in the temple (see Luk_21:37). He taught in the court of the women at the place where the treasury was situated (Joh_8:20). The scribes and Pharisees knew where He would be, so they hatched their plot together.
They would not be likely to catch a couple in the “very act” of adultery; so we wonder if the man (who never was indicted!) was part of the scheme. The Law required that both guilty parties be stoned (Lev_20:10; Deu_22:22) and not just the woman. It does seem suspicious that the man went free. The scribes and Pharisees handled the matter in a brutal fashion, even in the way they interrupted the Lord’s teaching and pushed the woman into the midst of the crowd.
The Jewish leaders, of course, were trying to pin Jesus on the horns of a dilemma. If He said, “Yes, the woman must be stoned!” then what would happen to His reputation as the “friend of publicans and sinners”? The common people would no doubt have abandoned Him and would never have accepted His gracious message of forgiveness.
But, if He said, “No, the woman should not be stoned!” then He was openly breaking the Law and subject to arrest. On more than one occasion, the religious leaders had tried to pit Jesus against Moses, and now they seemed to have the perfect challenge (see Joh_5:39-47; Joh_6:32; Joh_7:40).
Instead of passing judgment on the woman, Jesus passed judgment on the judges! No doubt He was indignant at the way they treated the woman. He was also concerned that such hypocrites should condemn another person and not judge themselves. We do not know what He wrote on the dirt floor of the temple. Was He simply reminding them that the Ten Commandments had been originally written “by the finger of God” (Exo_31:18), and that He is God? Or was He perhaps reminding them of the warning in Jer_17:13?
It was required by Jewish Law that the accusers cast the first stones (Deu_17:7). Jesus was not asking that sinless men judge the woman, for He was the only sinless Person present. If our judges today had to be perfect, judicial benches would be empty. He was referring to the particular sin of the woman, a sin that can be committed in the heart as well as with the body (Mat_5:27-30). Convicted by their own consciences, the accusers quietly left the scene, and Jesus was left alone with the woman. He forgave her and warned her to sin no more (Joh_5:14).
We must not misinterpret this event to mean that Jesus was “easy on sin” or that He contradicted the Law. For Jesus to forgive this woman meant that He had to one day die for her sins. Forgiveness is free but it is not cheap. Furthermore, Jesus perfectly fulfilled the Law so that no one could justly accuse Him of opposing its teachings or weakening its power. By applying the Law to the woman and not to themselves, the Jewish leaders were violating both the letter and the spirit of the Law — and they thought they were defending Moses!
The Law was given to reveal sin (Rom_3:20), and we must be condemned by the Law before we can be cleansed by God’s grace. Law and grace do not compete with each other; they complement each other. Nobody was ever saved by keeping the Law, but nobody was ever saved by grace who was not first indicted by the Law. There must be conviction before there can be conversion.
Nor is Christ’s gracious forgiveness an excuse to sin. “Go, and sin no more!” was our Lord’s counsel. “But there is forgiveness with Thee, that Thou mayest be feared” (Psa_130:4). Certainly the experience of gracious forgiveness would motivate the penitent sinner to live a holy and obedient life to the glory of God."

Now, I know I may be stretching things. Yet I see a continuous thread of complaints about the wrongs of a spouse while ignoring and acknowledging our own sins. And much more can be said about this if you like.
We all want God to forgive us. We say it every time we say the Lord's Prayer:
Mat 6:9  "Pray, then, in this way: 'Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name.
Mat 6:10  'Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven.
Mat 6:11  'Give us this day our daily bread.
Mat 6:12  'And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Mat 6:13  'And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.]'
That's the prayer He taught us. Yet look at the next two verses immediately following:

Mat 6:14  "For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Mat 6:15  "But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.
And then to top it off let us remember 1 Cor. 13.
Or the verses in 1st John 1.

Here is one of those great articls on the subject and one I'm sure going to look into a little deeper. How to Recover from Your Husband's Pornography Addiction

Now I knowthis does not cover every thing, while I also know that with God all things for righteousness are.
Virgil

Act 17:11 Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so.(NASV)

Deleted
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Missionaries and Porn Sept 20, 2016 21:47:33 GMT -7

Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2016 21:47:33 GMT -7

Whoa, Tee, you are not being helpful at all with the above posting. I quote you in saying "Yet I see a continuous thread of complaints about the wrongs of a spouse while ignoring and acknowledging our own sins."

"Complaining"! That is not at all what I call women coming together for encouragement, guidance and prayer. When I read the intro to the Wives section it reads: FOR WIVES: If your husband struggles with sex addiction, this is the place to find support and encouragement from other women.

Why would you think that we are not aware that we are sinners? Personally, I have never read a message from a wife that stated she was not a sinner. The difference in our sins and the sins of our husbands is that we ask forgiveness and make a conscious effort to remove that sin from our heart. Our husband's have asked for forgiveness but continue to repeat that sin, in turn, tearing apart our marriages, our families and at times, even destroying our faith in God.

You say "wrongs of a spouse". Our talk is not idle chatter about them not taking out the trash, doing dishes, or picking up their clothes. The conversations are about their addiction to pornography, masturbation,prostitutes,spreading STD's,lying,cheating and destroying everything that we ever loved and believed in. Probably, we would talk about the trash not being taken out and the dishes not being done but our lives have been so destroyed that we ourselves don't even notice those things not getting done.

The women that come here should be able to do so freely with no hesitation of being put down by something that they write or how they feel. As far as posting in the FOR WIVES section, it is of my believe that it is there for the purpose of wives reaching out to each other. I for one, am very thankful for the women (and men) that have offered me support there. I feel comfort from the messages that I receive and hope that others find the same in mine. I never see them as complaints, but as pain.

We are traveling a road that is very painful and it is only by all of us reaching out to each other and holding each other close in prayer, encouragement and support that this road becomes easier to travel.

There are a lot of emotions here on this site; pain, anger, hurt, sadness, distrust, fear, feelings of rejection and abandonment, the list goes on and on, but my point is, as children of God, we don't tear down, we build up. We should not look at something that is very hurtful to someone and make a flippant comment about all the complaints being tossed around ... and this is not the first or even the second time that you have made that same careless comment.

I am saddened when I think that there may be a wife reading but hesitant to post out of fear that her posting will be picked a part and labeled as a complaint. No one, man or woman, should come here and feel uncomfortable posting. We all need to play nice and love each other. We ALL have so much to offer each other in the way of encouragement and prayer.

Just one more thing and I am done ... You mention forgiveness. Forgiving our spouses does not mean that the hurt goes away or that we sit on the deck in the sun with a margarita as if nothing ever happened. Forgiving them means that we do not let their sin own us any longer. It is in their heart, not ours.

Sometimes, after reading something that you wrote, I just cry. Maybe I need to stop reading what you write.

Grace

Deleted
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Missionaries and Porn Sept 21, 2016 7:05:31 GMT -7

Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2016 7:05:31 GMT -7

Tee, I have to agree with Gracey on what she posted. Your posts can come across as not being understanding toward the wives. Addicts tend not to see what their continued sinning does to their loved ones. I am not sure why this is. It could be because realizing this would be devastating to the addict or it could be because the addict is so "me" centered that they are blind to it.

Women are different from men in how they heal. Women need conversation, talking, understanding and love to process what they are going through in order to heal. Many times men can see this as a negative like complaining when it is in fact a positive need for healing.

One thing that everyone needs to keep in mind is that this site is focused on the sin of sexual immortality. Unfortunately this sin targets men more then women and in doing so affects the wives and children of these men. When a sin affects the family trying to destroy what God intended for good, everyone needs healing. It is a trauma for the loved ones and requires understanding and love from the addicts. Just from that fact alone, I will always be grateful for being single while getting this sin out of my life. My hat goes off to the men here that are married and working at getting this sin out of their lives. They have to not only work on themselves but work on their relationships. That would be extremely hard.

The wives need encouragement, understanding and love. The addicts need encouragement, understanding, and respect. Women and men process things differently. We are all here to heal and learn and encourage. I ask that everyone remember that. One thing I have difficulty with remembering is that we all represent Christ to everyone we come in contact with.

May God richly bless you all and guide you one your journey today.

Post by mike on Aug 23, 2012 10:13:30 GMT -7

Post by Daniela on Sept 4, 2016 22:44:55 GMT -7

Post by teetop on Sept 15, 2016 8:14:17 GMT -7

Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2016 10:47:14 GMT -7

Post by teetop on Sept 20, 2016 14:43:12 GMT -7

Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2016 21:47:33 GMT -7

Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2016 7:05:31 GMT -7