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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2012 15:55:36 GMT -7
I'm really confused as to the root of my addiction. I have a great sex life with my wife (usually have sex 2-5 times a week), I am extremely attracted to her sexually & I am very happy with our sex life. But yet I still find myself look for & at porn & indulging in self-gratification!? I don't understand!! I HATE PORN! I HATE BEING ADDICTED BUT YET I ALWAYS SEEM TO COME BACK TO IT!
To be honest I've experienced seasons, sometimes weeks, a few times months but I always seem to come back. I LOVE my seasons of freedom! But somehow I'll get tired, lonely or frustrated in life & find myself going back.
I was addicted to many things before I got saved (drugs, alcohol & HEAVY smoking) but this I can't seem to shake!
PLEASE ANY INSIGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE IS WELCOME!!!
Thanks!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2012 23:09:28 GMT -7
Hi 1 John,
I am a spouse, not an addict, so I trust that Tim or others will jump in here, but I think you hit on a key when you noted that being "tired, lonely or frustrated " seems to trigger your acting out. The earlier you learn to spot those feelings, with an intentional plan for handling them in a Godly way, the more likely you are to head in another direction. Or that's what I think I've understood from what I've read.
TruthSeeker
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2012 3:18:28 GMT -7
Hi,
I hear your frustration. Coming to know what is going on in our hearts is a real challenge. Let me encourage you that His mercies are new every morning.
"The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail." Lamentations 3:22
Do you have friends who really know you, you say that you become lonely and tired, are you meeting weekly with people in a group and have you started the work on getting at the root motives of your addiction. These forums are no substitute for real people, I mean other men who believe the best in you in Christ.
Does your wife know your story? You mentioned working through other addictions, this is very different addiction. Have you read any books on working through your addiction. I wish you well. in His Love
Tim
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2012 21:58:52 GMT -7
Hi, I hear your frustration. Coming to know what is going on in our hearts is a real challenge. Let me encourage you that His mercies are new every morning. "The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail." Lamentations 3:22 Do you have friends who really know you, you say that you become lonely and tired, are you meeting weekly with people in a group and have you started the work on getting at the root motives of your addiction. These forums are no substitute for real people, I mean other men who believe the best in you in Christ. Does your wife know your story? You mentioned working through other addictions, this is very different addiction. Have you read any books on working through your addiction. I wish you well. in His Love Tim Do you manage to say a little bit about yourself? I think that if I should receive advices from someone, I'd like to know who they are first? What about you guys? |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2012 5:15:45 GMT -7
Hi,
Sorry, My name is Tim Wright. I live in the Uk. I had an addiction to masturbation on and off for about 15 years. I now work with men in the UK. If I were looking back at my actions, I knew that I was searching for intimacy. I really only acted out in my head with women that I knew and it was really about wanting tenderness and kindness. I have worked through alot of pain with Theophostic Prayer. Really broke down the lies that I was believing that kept me from receiving The Fathers Love. I had lots of Father issues that the real Father had to heal in my life. Happy to share more if you want more. Peace
Tim
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2012 9:43:54 GMT -7
Hi John
I can relate to your confusion in that which you are struggling with , as which i am going through in my own life also at this time the sircumstances may be different but the outcome is the same . We need though to have the understanding and revelation that our FATHER already new the struggle we would have before HE created us though HE still went ahead , saying let US make man in OUR image and in doing that HE did it in Love because HE wanted us for relationship , to be one with HIM , in that i am coming to the understanding in my own life that the struggles we continue to have in the addictions in our life have to do with how relational we are to HIM , HE wants to be our Father ! , so in we struggle as sons and daughter as we relate to HIM , HE wants the best for us JER 29: 11-13 .
I hope in what i have shared with you at this time may give you an understanding in your confusion it goes far deeper than what i have shared with you ,but i know in my own addiction my healing will only come as i relate to HIM not head knowledge , never lose site of HIS absolute Love for you .i will close now but if you want ,i am willing to keep sharing in this ,as i encourage my self as i share as i said in the begining circumstances may be different but the outcome is the same ,so be encouraged You are not alone friend.
HE bless's us and keeps us . regards Hedley
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2013 7:50:50 GMT -7
Hi John
I don't think you are correct in your assessment of your addiction. To be sure, porn is addictive because it is a sinful expression/preoccupation and all sin becomes addictive leading to spiritual death as per John 8:34 ; James 1:14-16
Those of us who are addicted to porn or have once been in bondage to it genuinely hate the addiction and the sorry results of it. But we have been bound to it in our quest to find titillation that should genuinely please the carnal nature that cries out for satisfaction. But true believers can never find peace in that pursuit of fleshly gratification because God will not allow it! So we have the dilemma of longing or yearning for porn in all of its unlawful manifestations yet are discontent in that yearning because God won't permit us any satisfaction but rather chastens us for being disobedient. In time, the true believer will finally get the message that to fight against the will of God is stupid and wholly unprofitable. It took me more than a decade to discover this -- such was my state of rebellion against the Lord.
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