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Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2012 5:20:25 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2012 5:22:50 GMT -7
I should add the "viewing" didn't happen once or twice, but went on for several years.
I hope this all makes sense!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2012 11:27:20 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2012 14:11:25 GMT -7
Thanks so much! I look forward to seeing what this book has in store.
I don't know if I sounded too caustic in my first post: I hope not. I'm just tired. My H has put in a lot of effort and eaten a lot of humble pie to get our marriage back on a decent footing and I don't want to belittle that. I am just very weary of having to live every inch of life calculating everyone's move and feeling like I constantly have to watch my back. I have never felt like I've been at home --you know, just able to rest-- in my entire marriage...
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Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2012 14:50:29 GMT -7
Hi Lily,
While moving may have challenges of its own, I think it may have much merit as well. It can be quite a tight rope to walk, to balance family ties with not being unequally yoked with unbelievers, which I do not believe is just about marriage.
Boundaries is an excellent book, as is also Henry Cloud's Changes that Heal, also available on Amazon. It has a whole section on difficulty separating from birth family as an adult, basically being co-dependent. We have some family who drink more than we are comfortable with being around, so try to limit our time with them when alcohol is likely to be involved. Sometimes, as Christ forewarned us, serving God faithfully may separate us from family.
The younger your children are, the more likely it is that they will not retain the negative influences from his family if more distance is limiting time together. Just my two cents.
TruthSeeker
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Post by Deleted on Apr 16, 2012 5:56:56 GMT -7
Truthseeker,
I appreciate your input. I've been praying the Lord would give direction because I know I will have to be the one to drive this and I want to be sure I'm doing the right thing as it will involve uprooting my son (youngest is still too little to be effected).
I hear what you're saying about the challenges of moving. If we do leave, it will be the 20th move I've made in my life. I know there are folks who move more than that, but it is stressful. However it will be less stressful than our current situation. (Lord willing)
While I agree with your take on scripture about being unequally yoked with unbelievers in areas outside of marriage too, the unfortunate (bizarre, ridiculous,etc?) thing about my situation is that everyone involved is a professing Christian. How do ya beat that? My fil even critisized one of our friends because he left a church whose teachings were getting off doctrinally. His comment: "Well, family should come before church." He assumed that our friend's parents attended the church, and he thought it wrong that the guy should leave if his parents were still there - our friend is grown and has children of his own--regardless of the doctrinal problems the church was having. Is it me, or does that seem off?
Thanks too for the recommendation of the other book. Doing Boundaries first, then I'll check out that one.
Blessings
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Post by Deleted on Apr 16, 2012 9:27:36 GMT -7
Hi Lily,
Same passage--we are not to love family more than the Lord. Matt. 10:34-9. The New Testament is full of warnings about false teaching. We are not to tolerate it, no matter who else does. And, of course, professing Christ and maturing in faith are two different things.
You might also find the concept of enmeshed families worth reading about. botkinsyndrome.blogspot.com/2008/08/enmeshed-family.html
TruthSeeker
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