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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2012 22:18:37 GMT -7
I'm going for an initial "mutual assessment" appointment with a counsellor on Saturday. It's the first time I've ever been to see a counsellor. I'm a Christian, so the question of whether or not to try to find a counsellor who shares my faith has been uppermost in my mind. There are few Christian counsellors in my area, and plenty of non-Christian ones. I've also made an appointment with a non-Christian one in a couple of weeks, just to see what he's like. However, this has got me thinking about the "compatibility" of humanistic psychology (variants of which are used by pretty much all "secular" counsellors) with the Christian faith. There are plenty of articles on the web that take the view that humanistic psychology is fundamentally at odds with Christianity, because it is built upon a radically different world view. Examples are here and here. These appear to me to be well thought-out and fairly convincing arguments, not the rantings of frothing-at-the-mouth fundamentalists. Having read these and other similar articles, I am now feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the whole idea of this humanistic approach. So I thought this would be a good thing to ask on the forum: does anyone have any particular views on this issue, one way or the other? Has anyone had experience with both Christian and humanistic counsellors such that they can share insights into the effectiveness of each? Note: I am not at all wishing to throw stones at those who don't share my discomfort. Nor am I suggesting that it's "wrong" for Christians to go to a non-Christian counsellor. I'm simply talking about my own personal views on the matter, and trying to arrive at a position where I can get effective help from someone whose approach I feel comfortable with. Thanks in advance, L2L
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2012 6:30:21 GMT -7
I've been to both Christian and Non-Christian/Secular counselors. I've found the secular counselors to be better at providing practical, real world advice.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2012 6:34:10 GMT -7
Hi DW,
Thanks for your post. I've read one or two others that say the same. What I'm struggling with is the ideological basis for the counselling that's offered. I'm torn between the desire to find something that "works" (i.e. is of real, practical benefit) and the desire not to unwittingly compromise on things I believe in very strongly.
L2L
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2012 11:03:34 GMT -7
Hi L2L,
Perhaps you could augment whichever counselor you choose with reading. I am a spouse, so you may not find these books as useful as I might suppose. Choices That Heal, by Henry Cloud, is about healing from a variety of childhood wounds, and the challenges brought into adulthood with them. For tough love, there is At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry, by Steve Gallagher. And, of course, there are all of Mike's excellent articles, and his book The Road to Grace.
TruthSeeker
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2012 20:46:53 GMT -7
Thanks, truthseeker. I've read the Steve Gallagher book, but will make a note of the others.
I'll hold out for some more replies from others – there must be other users on here who have a view on this.
L2L
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 3:32:30 GMT -7
Thanks LearningtoLive for seeming to be a little bit calm and rational.
I am thinking about one verse in the Bible that says something like: Everything that is noble, pure and good. Take hold on that.
or something like that.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 3:37:55 GMT -7
You mean Philippians 4:9 – "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."
Yes, if I could only fill my mind with those kinds of things, there wouldn't be so much room for the other junk that has accumulated there…
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 4:20:09 GMT -7
The most important thing to remember when finding a counselor is notice how you feel as you talk with them and listen to them. There are a lot of counselors that are condoning behavior which actually feeds the addiction. Unfortunately, there are many counselors that are in it for the money not really to help the individual. Also you want to learn their method of therapy, you do not want someone that will shame you, or make you feel guilty for where you are at, this is the problem with a lot of religious counselors.
A lot of religious counselors use fear instead of love, you have had enough shame, fear and hate, you don't need to go to a counselor to add more to it.
After you meet with the individual, evaluate your feelings and process everything in your mind. You will be able to tell if they can help you in the healing process.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 4:42:04 GMT -7
Hi, when reading the last post I came to think of. Maybe it might be good idea to look at the councellor?
Does he seem to be habby, joyious? Does he has something that you want to have? Is he free or angry?
What kind of stomach-feeling do I get when I am there?
Might be good to listen to myself and my own stomach-feeling?
Respect myself and don't go there if I don't feel happy with it?
Not go there to please the other person? Codependency?
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 21:40:44 GMT -7
A quick update on this. I've had three interviews with potential counsellors – two on the phone and one face-to-face — and have decided to work with one of them. As it happens, he's a Christian as well as a qualified and trained counsellor, and he works with both Christians and non-Christians alike. His view is that he is a counsellor who happens to be a Christian, rather than a "Christian counsellor", and I found that helpful. I think the benefit for me in working with a Christian is firstly that I know we ultimately share the same overall world view, and that makes me feel more comfortable opening up to them, and secondly, it means that they already understand a big part of the context in which I live – i.e. everything to do with my involvement in church and what that means to me. With a non-Christian, I would have to explain all that for them to even begin to understand what it meant to me; with a Christian, that basic understanding is already in place.
We talked a lot about what I'm looking for, and I felt comfortable with the type of approach he proposed. I have my first session with him tomorrow evening. A new step on what is hopefully a new part of the journey.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 22:37:53 GMT -7
Learningtolive;
Thanks for updating very structured, calm and clearly.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2012 1:39:48 GMT -7
Excellent. Glad to hear how things are unfolding.
Tim M.
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