Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2012 16:14:42 GMT -7
Well... Don't know where to begin. I am in a horrible funk right now. I love him but that just doesn't seem important anymore. I see he's changing. But I thought he was changing last time. He's consistent in counseling and his 12 step program. He's becoming more like God daily.. But I'm getting worse. I keep hearing "but I'm not the same man". I forgive him.. Not angry anymore but I hurt so much. Sometimes it seems unbearable. I told him before we moved back in together I needed to see action showing me not only that he is different but that he's showing love as well. He doesn't seem to care.. Maybe he doesn't... Maybe he wants change for his life without me. I think I would be ok without him. I sound crazy... At this point I'm just lost.... I have to believe that one day I'll be better off... I'm just ready for the pain to ease... Why am I hurting more now than around the time I found out? It should have eased some but the pain has grown.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2012 4:13:50 GMT -7
Hi GP4M,
You do not need to answer any of these questions. I am just seeking clarification.
Are you and your husband still separated? Are you seeing a counselor together? Are you seeing one on your own? Are you saying that your husband seems to be making a lot of changes, but still not demonstrating love toward you? If he's not, are you sure he understands what actions communicate love to you? Did you get results regarding STD's?
I am wondering if you want to hope because of all that he is doing, yet are more afraid than ever to do so because of how many times that hope has been disappointed, leaving you feeling even more hopeless.
Have there been changes in your walk with the Lord, such as prayer/time in the Word, church/fellowship activities, etc.? As your username reminds us all, trust God's plan, even when you are not ready to trust your husband.
Praying for you...
TruthSeeker
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2012 17:42:06 GMT -7
My husband has changed also. He is distant,stopped telling me he loves me and no physical touch at all. He has meetings 3 times a week. When I asked what is wrong, he says he feels like dirt for what he has done. He can not forgive himself and I deserve a better life without him. He seems to have so much guilt and shame. He crys when he is trying to tell me what's going on. I could hardly understand him. I sent him text messages, which is where I finally got answers from him.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2012 23:43:12 GMT -7
Thank you for the reply. We are still separated. We've been living apart since November. We are not counseling together. I've kinda pushed that off. My reasons, counseling is hard and until I know I have something to fight for I don't want to go through it. I am saying that he's not demonstrating love towards me.. He does know what I need from him but it seems as though I'm just not worth it. This is why I told him I'm not sure I want do to counseling until he gives me that first step.
I do want to believe that finally this time things are changing. But I wouldn't know if he's lying to me. I didn't catch anything last time. I'm not sure I can go through the pain again. I love this man. I want to be with him. But I'm so scared.
My relationship with God has been the best it's been in years. I give Him my marriage daily.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2012 8:06:09 GMT -7
Everyone needs to do what is best for them. I admire your strength.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2012 9:07:20 GMT -7
Hi Kyrsta,
Is your husband a believer? If so, he really needs to consider the difference between conviction and condemnation. Conviction brings us to repentance, condemnation is Satan tormenting us for those things that God has already forgiven. You are right that he needs to forgive himself.
If he is not a believer, God is all about grace.
It is so sad that he seems to be seeking freedom from addiction, but is keeping himself locked in a prison of self-recrimination.
TruthSeeker
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2012 3:24:19 GMT -7
I hope you find peace. In a way I am in a very similar boat. You are doing great to make your plans to cover other avenues. Try to admire your own strength and at times try to step out of yourself, imagine you are a friend, you are telling these things to this friend and what advice or encouragement would you offer your friend. I do this and while I can't claim you will always be able to help this "friend" it always seems to at least keep me grounded in complete reality and gives a sense of looking at it from outside of the intense pain and emotion.
I know the pain you talk about. I have been deep in it myself for several months.
Best wishes and hoping for the best for you.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2012 19:13:12 GMT -7
I don't think he is ready to believe. I think if he would give himself to God. He would be able to move on in his life.
|
|