What has helped you in your recovery.

Tired of the Same Dance, what has helped me is a fear of going to hell.  God wants obedience 100 per cent of the time and so often I can't deliver what He wants.

Fear of God and of hell is a deterrent to not sin.

I am told that I am saved by grace (the grace of God cleanses me of all unrighteousness because of Jesus Christ and for no merit that I can earn through good works).  I am also told in some biblical passages that it is possible to lose that grace if I persist in sinning.

I've also found it helpful to pray in my daily prayers "God, I pray that I learn to hate the things you hate and love the things you love." I don't always pray that but it is a good prayer.

I find that much sin is avoided by keeping occupied in healthy pursuits.  My problem is that as someone chronically unemployed, I have a lot of time to fill. In the past, I have found ways and means to fill the time doing things which I believe please God.

St Paul exhorts us to flee from sexual immorality.  That is bound to work all the time, if I choose to flee.  The trouble is, temptations can cause me to be in a state of paralysis.  The computer is easy to turn off.  That is a good resource to enable me to flee.  I must then find something or things to do that will occupy me in a godly way until the end of the day.

Guitarist63, Thank you for sharing what has helped you. I have to say fear of going to Hell is one for me also, but with me being married losing my family is another one. But I have to stay focus on what I am put on this earth for and that is to honor, worship and praise God. That has to be my main priority and that in its self is hard enough. I have to push my own desires and wants so that I may worship him. And when I do and do his will, then he has blessed me with gifts and things that I need. I know and feel that he is changing me cause when I wake up in the morning, I am not disgusted with what I see. I now see a coming man of God and the works that he is doing. I am no way done with this or close to understanding his plan for me. But every day I wake up, I thank him for giving me another day to honor and praise him, either in the good or bad.

 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

When I read this, I realized that I was almost all of these and wonder how God could forgive me of all my sins and would want a relationship with me. But then I read on and realized that Jesus show the ultimate love that anyone could do and that was died on the cross for my sins. So that I can accept him in my heart and have him lead me to righteousness and the relationship with the father.

For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more. Hebrews 8:12

When we sin and a child of Christ we must repent of our sins and he will forgive us. Now, that doesn’t mean that I sin the same sin over and over again and ask forgiveness. When I did that, I felt so ashamed and didn’t want to repent cause I knew in my heart I was going to go back to what I was doing to begin with. That is how powerful this choice (addiction) is. But God is so much powerful and because of his loving grace and forgiving me of my sins I have now been able to celebrate 60 days of no porn or masturbation.

I could never have done it on my own and I give him all the Glory, but I had to make the choice to not want to do it anymore. To like you said hate that which he hates and love all that he loves. I had to start living for him and give it all to him. Once I give it to him, it is no longer mine. Which is good, cause I didn’t want it anymore. Reading his word, praying and reading other books on addiction has really helped me.

Idol hands are the Devil’s play ground. This is a very true statement. The computer, while it can help with finding recovery groups, advice or information on addiction, it can be our down fall in our recovery. I used to spend so much time on the computer looking at sites I shouldn’t be and the time would just fly by. I, like yourself, had to find other areas to escape. I like to draw, read comic books, work with my hands, or if I wasn’t married, I would find a shelter or volunteer at my church. Anything to be around Godly people and keep myself busy and my mind occupied. And when temptation arrived, he is just to give us a way out. And most of the time, the best thing to do is flee and let him battle it. But always put on the holy armor of God so that when temptation does arrived, you will not fall into its trap.  

Keep on posting and I look forward to reading more about what has helped you in your recovery. I will be praying for you and walk with God.

Tired

I talk about my victories like it is easy. That through all the struggles that I have gone through, I was able to give my life straight over to God and he healed me instantly. That is not true. It has been challenging for me to give up something that has had a hold of me for so long. Porn was like a friend that was always there when I was hurt, anxious, and angry, tired, emotionally drained any type of mood that I was in, it was there. It never judged me, condoned, ridiculed, stabbed me in the back, or anything else that human nature does to us in everyday society. It would make me feel good and I started to rely on it more and more until it became my master. It was no longer my friend it was my drug and I was hooked. I tried in the past to quit and it worked for a little bit. Since I was doing it on my own and not with God, I didn’t get too far and started up again. I went through the vicious cycle of “insanity” doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. I’d say I would stop but would have my stash hidden. So that when the time was right and I knew in my heart I wasn’t going to stop I could go back to it. This has all taken the course of my marriage of 10 years and 3 deployments.

Now I am in Afghanistan for a year tour. And when I got here I was on the verge of divorce. My wife was dead set on leaving me because of the master that I served and had control of me. I had hit rock bottom and was tired of the insanity of being a broken record. I gave everything to God and this time it was for good. Going through my hard drive and finding every bit of porn that I hidden in folders that I can’t remember where they were located. But with God in control he showed me where they were and I showed no hesitation in deleting them. Then came the cleaning of my mind. The memories that I have of viewing so much porn in the time it had control over me were still here. And the mind is a lot harder to clean up than a computer. The delete button is a timely process and you might have to do it more than once. But once I gave it to God and repent of my sins, which were one less of a strong hold that Satan had on me.

Philippians 4:8-9 finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-thing about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me, put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Enable to rid myself of the all the sinful memories in my mind and heart I had to look at things of beauty in Gods eyes. So that when Satan tries to bring back a memory of something that I viewed or have done in my past, I can rebuke it and replace it with something that will bring God happiness. This did take some time and I am still learning as I go, but I can now recognize the signs of when it might be coming and ready for it. Satan likes to sneak attack us but if you study Gods word and know your enemy, you can defeat him.

Now granted I might have it easier that most that are struggling over this choice (addiction) because of my situation. I am in Afghanistan and in a war zone, but that is not the situation I am talking about. I am away from modern day society, bill boards on side of the roads, Wal-mart and other shopping establishments, news and media, everyday life that can trigger a relapse, I am away from. And it is something that I am going to have to deal with when I get back. Some question might come to mind is, will I be as strong as I am now to fight off those temptations when I get back state side? Will my victories be as easy as it seems like they are now? Are the challenges going to get greater? The answer to those questions will be yes and Satan knows this. He is doing what he can here just to see how much I have grown in my faith. He is studying and taking notes just like a terrorist and getting ready for his next plan of attack. But I am ready for him. I made a convent with God that I will not view nor engage in self gratification. I stand firm and ready with his word to lead me to victory when the enemy attacks me. I will never surrender, nor will I accept defeat. I have faith in God, who his son Jesus died on the cross for me. And even though he never knew me, he took the ultimate sacrifice for a stranger, so that I may know the father and have life everlasting. I will take all that I learn here and have it in my arsenal to defeat the enemy. That is a promise to God, my family and to me.

Tired

Wonder why some people go for sexual things, some for gambling, some for drugs...