Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2006 11:00:04 GMT -7
I am married to the Childrens' Pastor at my church and I need help. I have been addicted to porn off and on for over 20 years and for the last ten years have been visiting massage parlors and prostitutes. I have two little boys and am active in leading a men's bible study. Everybody at church thinks that I am an ideal husband who supports his wife doing full-time ministry. I can go for a year or so and keep things under control, but then I fall off the wagon and start screwing up. I feel like I lead two different lifestyles and the dark lifestyle is starting to win. I now have severe anger issues because of my guilt and I do not know where to turn. I am secretly hoping if I make my wife mad enough she will kick me out of the house. If my wife finds out she will definately divorce me, but if she divorces me she may be asked to step down from her job. On top of that there are the money issues, I have spent $400-800 a month going to visit massage parlors and prostitutes the last year. What do I do?