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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2011 5:16:55 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2011 9:26:27 GMT -7
Hi LadyP,
I am sorry that he doesn't seem to understand things the way he should. One of Mike's articles talked about him talking with a friend about disclosing to his wife, and how long healing would take. He was surprised to hear the answer "years."
While there can be a level of discussing the topic that is unproductive, making the addict feel as though any growth/change is unrecognized, there can not be an expectation that you can feel safe and secure again in your marriage in such a short time. And certainly that is not even going to begin to happen while he is still oggling women on the street! I presume that you have pointed this out to him. As far as he is concerned, women should only have faces, and he doesn't need to spend too much time on those either.
Praying for you...
TruthSeeker
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2011 13:35:04 GMT -7
Thank you truthseeker for saying women should just have faces, etc. It lets me know i wasnt just a hysterical woman all those years. I endured so much of his adultery, and thought i could scream it out of him.
Its weird i would get upset after i caught him in the act of adultety in some form, have a huge fight, and he would lie, cry, walk away, or eventually convince me that he didnt do anything or that he would be better, and i would go back into happy denial again.
This time its different, reading his emails to women at work and catching him on uporn along with me being older, has lead to me finally saying enough is enough.
I can forgive him but i dont see.any attempts at real recovery on his.part, so i know its time to finally be free. Free of this crazy life.of.being married to an addict.
All the best,
N2bfree
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2011 17:05:25 GMT -7
He says he is exhausted by me going on all the time about his sex addiction and just wants us to be a couple again.
WHAT?
Who does he think he is?!!
Forgetting what he's done to me for 12 years, how he's cheated on me, committed adultery in our marriage and lied to me, is proving the hardest thing that I've ever had to face!
LadyP
My husband was in prayer plenty about the time we were at our worst, shock, anger, confusion. He beleives God gave him a vision of us both standing and looking at the same huge huge land fill rubbish dump. The pile stank and was so high ... In the vision he turned his back and started walking on, but I was walking backward watching the pile. He was heading off already, and couldnt even see the pile, yet I had to walk backwards for miles until that stinking pile was out of my sight. I was taking reluctant steps forwards. Its tough. Indeed who do they think they are, assuming you can sweep that much trash and hurt and deceit under the rug, and FORGET about it and the TREAT them like nothing has happened to US.
BIG HUGS xx.
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