Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2011 12:29:10 GMT -7
I still struggle with those temptations that make you wonder "now where did that come from". Thanking God one minute and then the worst thought hits you. These can be so discouraging even if I don't give in.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2011 11:07:44 GMT -7
Hello Cog, Slimed is an excellent way to put it. I love that term! And you’re so right about me being the reason that I cannot watch triggering content. What would be considered normal and not a big deal to most, I struggle with. I wonder if my expectation is to even get to the point where I’m not triggered by the slightest thing? Or maybe to just develop a personal system to where I know what my weaknesses are and avoiding those temptations. Guitarist63 I do the same thing. I have a very big dvd selection and that helps me do exactly what you described. Being able to have the control over what I view. And 2bfree59 that’s a great point as well. My thought life is always a struggle for me. The slightest unchecked and idle thoughts can lead down a path of thinking that I never intended on going. I have learned that its so vital to keep thoughts under control because that always seems like the beginning of a slippery slope.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2011 11:38:00 GMT -7
And 2bfree59 that’s a great point as well. My thought life is always a struggle for me. The slightest unchecked and idle thoughts can lead down a path of thinking that I never intended on going. I have learned that its so vital to keep thoughts under control because that always seems like the beginning of a slippery slope. Thanks for sharing this. In 2. Chorinthians. 10,7 it is about this, taking the thoughts captives. Best regards
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2011 2:00:22 GMT -7
I want to start identifying my triggers as well. I learned about an acronym called BLAST. It stands for the 5 most common emotions that lead to triggers (Bored, Lonely, Angry, Stressed, and Tired. Today I am feeling angry and stressed. One major reason is because I had to buy a new car a couple weeks ago because my other car blew a head gasket in the engine. I couldn’t afford anything fancy so I just purchased a used car off of craigslist. I have had a few issues with the car already and I keep finding myself getting stressed out by it. I’m also a little frustrated with my girlfriend. It just seems like she doesn’t put in as much effort to see her. We see each other about twice a week. I don’t know, maybe I just need to pray. These emotions could lead to triggering thoughts. Anyways, hope everyone has a great day today.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2011 8:48:51 GMT -7
I am glad there is a community here. I hope it will grow.
Am doing all right as far as temptation is concerned this past week. Have been busy working and so not much time to misbehave. Hope everybody is doing well.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2011 10:52:00 GMT -7
Glad to hear u guys are doing well. I need to confess I fell today.
Same old routine, thoughts then porn and mb. It's so hard to ask
God for forgiveness when it's the same old sin. Would appreciate
ur prayers. Praying for u guys. God bless and strengthen us.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2011 1:57:56 GMT -7
I’m praying for you 2bfree59. Actually just got finished saying a prayer for you. God will deliver you through this addiction.
If you don’t mind if I ask, what do you think caused the temptation? How were you feeling before? I guess I have learned that identifying these triggers are key to fighting in the future. This addiction is so subtle and treacherous that it plays off of bad emotions that we have. I have found that when I’m angry and stressed about whatever circumstances I might be facing that’s when I seem to be most tempted.
That actually seems to be the time that Satan likes to attack us the most. It reminds me of when Jesus was tempted. He was physically weak after fasting for 40 days and obviously hungry. Satan tempted him with what he yearned for in the moment.
I have a story to share a little later but I have to get to work. Hope everyone has a blessed day.
Free
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2011 8:22:53 GMT -7
Free, thanks for your prayers and reply back. I was at work doing my job, when one of those "arrows" came. It was tempting but I fought it off. They kept coming and each time I entertained them a little more. I finally grow weary of fighting and give in. My emotions though were normal, no anger or nothing. I feel down a lot due to shame and guilt. Today it happen again but the Lord brought a verse to mind and I kept saying it in my mind and experienced victory. Praise be to God. But anger and feeling good are times when I have to be on guard.
Thanks again and looking forward to hearing your story.
God bless you guys and praying for you
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2011 4:27:54 GMT -7
Hey guys, today has been a really trying day since my car got broken into and they stole everything valuable that I had in there. Its just amazing how one trial seems to end and then ends just in time for the next one to start. I'm trying my hardest not to lose faith. There has been so many situations where I wanted to blame God. I question that if he loves me so much then why all of these extraordinary trials. It just seems like nothing I do pleases Him enough to just leave me alone. And when I say leave me alone I mean just stop allowing these freakish situations to keep occurring time after time. My air conditioning fails on my car at the beginning of the summer (not the best time of the year). I didn't have the money to get it fixed at the time so I had to endure it for a few months. I was finally able to get it fixed and had to pay a good sum of money to do that. Then I take my girlfriend down to an amusement park and after dropping her off I stop at a restaurant and park my car in a small lot down the street. I come back and my car has been broken into and they steal my iPod and a few other things. I buy a new iPod and a few other things to replace what had been stolen. Then a few weeks later one of my tires starts treading to the point where a part of it is hitting up against the wheel casing and I'm on a trip to my parents three hours away and its really late in the evening. I go home and buy a couple new tires and put more money into my car. Then on the way back home I have a freak accident with my car to where I had to buy a new engine to fix. So I put all this money into a car that I can't even drive unless I buy a new engine. I had to take a day off work to sort it out and ended up buying a used car with cash. Which I did not have the money for. Well not to use for that at least. A few days later my battery dies on that car and I have to get it towed and jumped from here to there just to get around. Then just last night my car gets broken into and they steal everything inside including my GPS, my new iPod, my gym bag that had some valuables in there, and a bunch of other stuff, like a few pairs of shoes, etc. My parents are going through a divorce because my dad is carrying on this strange emotional affair with some woman from his country of origin. My roommate sucks and my place has had a rodent problem for the past few months. And that is just naming the major stuff. There are countless other smaller situations that seem to fill my day with unwanted and unnecessary trials. Its such a trying time in life and its a lot of circumstances that are beyond my control.
It led to tears this morning. After I looked in my car and noticed what happened I just slumped over my car door and cried. I couldn't even hold it in any longer. I don't know what to pray for any more.
Maybe once I calm down then I will be more logical and reasonable. I'm just so pissed at everything for now.
Still these horrible circumstances will not make me act out. I commit to staying sober. My plan is to try to calm down and hopefully clear my head a little.
Free
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2011 9:56:34 GMT -7
Hi Free, I am really sorry to hear about your run of troubles. You do clearly have a lot of them and a lot focusing on your car. I have never had a car so that situation has never been my experience.
A lot of crap happens in this world and nine tenths of it or more are all because Eve and Adam decided to disobey God and take a bite when they shouldn't have. The world's been reeling from the shock of that ever since.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2011 13:32:52 GMT -7
Hi Free,
I, too, am sorry to hear of your trials. It would make life easier if becoming a believer meant that God would always protect us from others' misuse of their free will, but would we be choosing Christ for what He did for us on the cross, or in anticipation of living on easy street?
TruthSeeker
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2011 10:28:42 GMT -7
Thanks so much for the encouragement truthseeker & guitarist63. I have come to the realization that even though my circumstances have not really changed that I can still have a good attitude. That is something that I do have control over. The same old urges have been hitting me really hard this past weekend. Has anyone else ever struggled with having stronger urges toward the end of the month? Its always seems to be time that my cravings are at its peak.
Today I thought that I would expose the promises that this addiction constantly tell me:
1) There will be no change in how I feel afterwards. It always seems to lie and say I can get over a slip very easily and not face emotional consequences. When in reality afterward I feel depressed, isolated, anxious, and perverted.
2) That all my fantansies will be fulfilled. This is such a lie because there always seems to be a "gloss" over the temptation when in reality the process is pleasurable physically for a moment and then afterward even more painful then I could imagine. And its a craving that will want to be fulfilled later on. It is a cycle that will only be broken through resistance.
3) That people around me won't be affected. Everyone around me may not be affected but some will. I know that I feel such a sense of guilt when I talk to my girlfriend. I would be disgusted with myself and feel unworthy. That could affect our relationship in a negative way.
4) This may sound weird but even in moments of temptation I need to remind myself that sex is not wrong. It was created to be shared between man & wife for intimacy and procreation. Its not wrong for me to have that desire, it is wrong for me to lust to fulfill that desire. I need to focus on the ways to manage that desire, ie working out, staying involved.
Hope everyone on the board is well. Happy Monday.
Free
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2011 16:15:29 GMT -7
I want to be honest and accountable.
Today I slipped twice at work with p/mb
My plan moving forward is to strategically spend time with God every day for the next 90 days.
No more bold statements that are based on feeling sorry for myself. I need my Father to help me through these times.
Free
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2011 4:53:12 GMT -7
Free. Thank you for your admission and think your intent on 90 days is a good idea and also to leave the pity party behind.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2011 1:59:31 GMT -7
What did I learn from this slip?
I learned that its nearly impossible to remain sober without a close relationship with God. Towards the latter part of my sobriety time I started to feel weary fighting the addiction. This fatigue was mostly caused by being spiritually dry.
I learned that I need to know that my work space is a direct trigger and I have to set up restraints to help me stay sober.
Acting out does affect my relationships.
I will think of more and come back
|
|