Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2011 4:14:43 GMT -7
Thanks Tim for your support.
I am single and I am still susceptible on occasions to looking at pornography. As I am very active in creative pursuits most of the time, I am able to keep away from pornography. I still have the hope that I will finally stop looking at it forever. The single state is praised in the Bible and there is too much emphasis on this site on the married state and it is lauded as the ideal. It is not.
I lost my closest friend who died recently. I don't really want to invest time in getting to know anybody as close again as that person. The creative pursuits that I have absorb most of my time. I am also nearing middle age when I don't have the energy to commit to a marriage and it would take me years to get to know somebody before I made such a commitment. Marriage would never be a practical option for me for a lot of reasons and I'm not going to stop doing the creative things that take up most of my time.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2011 9:19:59 GMT -7
I had another therapy session with Tiffany and she is wonderful. She laughed when I said that I had repeatedly asked our existing marital therapist for concrete guidance on dealing with my anger toward my "husband" and the only advice I'd received was to "give it to God. He'll be glad to take all your pain away." She belly laughed out loud..........saying God had never walked into her office to take someone's pain away. And she admitted that she is a believer.
It is so important to find a therapist who "gets it."
I've decided that I will not be going back to the marital therapist we are now seeing. What my "husband" does is his business, but I'm firing her.
I've ordered two books from heart to heart counseling, "Married and Alone, 100 exercises for spouses," and "Married and Alone, 12-steps." I'll let you know how those books are when I get them. Their website is very amateur-ish. I don't think I can post links to the resources, but I will let everyone know if they are worthwhile.
Best to all, DW
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2011 18:53:36 GMT -7
DW,
Just a question this is a Christian site, are you agnostic? Who is the "spook in the sky". And you don't believe God can take pain away?
I hope you break free of this bad marriage and find peace and happiness. The therapist is probably right about a 5 year recovery so why wait around so long for that.
Don't feel sorry for him he will have to fend for himself. You need to set yourself free.
n2bfree
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2011 4:01:39 GMT -7
Dear Need2BFree,
I don't believe in God anymore. My conception of a an all-knowing, all-loving, all-powerful, protective father figure doesn't hold up anymore.
I originally came to this site as a believer, but as my husband's addictions unfolded, I lost all faith in the "god" I thought existed.
My best, DW
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2011 15:43:01 GMT -7
(((((((((DW)))))))))))
I.understand your loss of faith, mine has definately been tested, in the last 5 years. So much loss in my life including my marriage.
But don't lose your ability to LOVE, you love your children, and love yourself! You sound like an amazing mom! And don't lose.faith in.finding real adult love with another. It is never too late.
I think we need.to remember these men are sick in.the mind and spirit.
And we need to forgive them and just move on.
All my Best to you!
Love,
N2bf
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2011 3:01:04 GMT -7
I participated in group for wives of intimacy anorexics again yesterday. It is tremendously helpful. I learned yesterday that several of the "husbands" to the women in this group are sex addicts, intimacy anorexics and chemically dependent. One is a meth addict, several others are alcoholics. I think this is where I need to be.
Ladies, please, reach out......find the support you need........get help.........never accept depression and/or living in a relationship with an active addict.
My best, DW
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2011 12:11:12 GMT -7
How do i find an intimacy anorexic support group?
Thanks,
N2Bfree
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2011 8:38:51 GMT -7
Hi Need2BFree,
I just saw your question. I apologize for the delay in responding. I made connections with a therapist who specializes in intimacy anorexia and a corresponding support group by contacting the American Association of Sex Addiction Therapy at 719-330-2425.
I attended my third group session today and these women are like my soul sisters. Our experiences are very similar. It's wonderful to be able to share and verbalize the experiences we've all had. Verbalizing it helps to get it out.
My best, DW
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2011 8:29:57 GMT -7
I have two children diagnosed with Ausbergers. It is hard for them to recognize others feelings, plus accepting intimacy themselves. My two children love hugs, but are both very isolation people. My daughter spends most of her days in her room on her computer. It is a rare treat to have her in the living room spending time with the family.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2011 1:46:02 GMT -7
Katiedash. Interested to read you have children with Asperger syndrome.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2011 15:17:15 GMT -7
Wasn't I the one keeping all the balls in the air while he was lost in lustland?
Heck yes.
|
|