Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2011 8:49:32 GMT -7
I found this on another forum and I thought it was so good I just had to share it here:
"To say that if I had more sex with my husband he wouldn’t be a sex addict is like saying if I gave my husband more bourbon he wouldn’t be an alcoholic. It makes no sense."
This is something that I struggled with for a long time. I cut my husband off for several years because I was tired of feeling used. Before I knew the truth, the whole unvarnished truth, I knew something was wrong. "Love, honor and cherish" had become "Ignore, belittle and tolerate" until he wanted sex. The only time he noticed me or gave me the time of day was when he wanted sex. Even then, I was only a receptacle for that which he needed to be rid of. It lasted 30 seconds, tops, left me feeling used, frustrated and exposed me to unwanted pregnancy.......so I cut him off. After I learned of the porn/masturbation addiction, I looked back on that period of our marriage and blamed myself for pushing him further into his addiction. I now realize that my thinking about this period of our marriage is really warped. I withheld sex from a sex addict. That's no different that withholding booze from an alcoholic.
I hope this helps other women with the blame game that we all play. Ladies, it's not you, it was never about you, and if you don't genuinely feel like being intimate........don't.
"To say that if I had more sex with my husband he wouldn’t be a sex addict is like saying if I gave my husband more bourbon he wouldn’t be an alcoholic. It makes no sense."
This is something that I struggled with for a long time. I cut my husband off for several years because I was tired of feeling used. Before I knew the truth, the whole unvarnished truth, I knew something was wrong. "Love, honor and cherish" had become "Ignore, belittle and tolerate" until he wanted sex. The only time he noticed me or gave me the time of day was when he wanted sex. Even then, I was only a receptacle for that which he needed to be rid of. It lasted 30 seconds, tops, left me feeling used, frustrated and exposed me to unwanted pregnancy.......so I cut him off. After I learned of the porn/masturbation addiction, I looked back on that period of our marriage and blamed myself for pushing him further into his addiction. I now realize that my thinking about this period of our marriage is really warped. I withheld sex from a sex addict. That's no different that withholding booze from an alcoholic.
I hope this helps other women with the blame game that we all play. Ladies, it's not you, it was never about you, and if you don't genuinely feel like being intimate........don't.