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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2011 8:45:09 GMT -7
A thought I have had based on reading some of the post on how wives must feel. I can honestly say now that I am sincerley sorry for all of the pain I subjected my wife to. I had periods of sobriety in the past but,never stopped to think about how I must have made her feel. This made it easier to revert to old behaviors. I man of integrity,a man of God, a man who wants to truly be the high priest of his home must realize that this addiction is not just about him but also about the betrayal, and pain that his lies and selfish actions brought to his wife. I will say that my addiction was a contributing factor to the loss of my first marriage,and almost cost me my current marriage. I am truly blessed in having a Godley wife who thankfully never gave up on me.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2011 14:20:56 GMT -7
This not to say that there never comes a point at which you can say enough is enough. Speaking again from experience when my wife told me for the last time,this is it, you have to choose me and our children or the porn. I knew this was truly my last chance. It was the final wake up call. The tough thing I can imagine for a wife assuming she really loves her husband is to stick to your guns. If he still is not ready to give it up then move on. You owe it to yourself and your children.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2017 22:07:16 GMT -7
What do men experience in early recovery? I'm asking because my husband's behavior perplexes me. I had finally had enough of his addiction several weeks ago, and I told him to move out because his sin is not welcome in my home. I also told him he'd be welcome back if and when he starts taking this seriously and shows initiative in his treatment. After that, he scheduled his first session with an porn addiction counselor, and he goes back weekly. He's still got a very hot temper and is unjustifiably short with me a lot.
The other night, he was proud of himself and said "Look at my history all you like. I think I'm doing well." So, I did look, and I was not happy with what I found (tons of really inappropriate profile hits from his old myspace account a few consecutive days before that). I took pictures of what I saw and texted him the evidence, with the intention of enforcing consequences the next day. He had other ideas and kept me up with a lying (insisting Chrome history was wrong), screaming hissy fit that left me with 2 hours of sleep before I had to go to work and pretend I knew how to string 2 intelligent words together. Afterwards, I talked with my S-Anon sponsor about how upset I was and how this isn't sobriety. She reinforced boundaries and consequences, but also told me that recovery is a slow road and that it's likely to be rough at first. He is going to regular treatment like I asked. I am now extremely confused. Is he making an effort or isn't he? Holy God, this addiction is such a mind bender. What canumber I realistically expect from someone entering treatment for the first time?
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