I've never felt more alone...

Dear LadyP,

Well, I agree, but let's see if we can help you reason your way out of this.  How old are your children?  If the SA in your life is unemployed, can he watch the children while you look for a job?  Work?  What are his real prospects for a job?  Is his addiction keeping him out of the workforce?  Does he recognize that his addiction is keeping him from gainful employment?  Is he so sick that you don't trust him with the children?  Is there a social service agency that could provide some help and guidance?  Perhaps help you apply for and coordinate programs to help you get back on your feet, with or without him?  England has all kinds of programs.  My "husband" is English.  There has to be a social worker who could help you with this.

Somebody has to tell your SA the "facts of life" so to speak and make him understand that his irresponsibility has brought the family to financial ruin.   I wish I was there.  I'd be more than happy to give him the facts of life as only I can.

I realize that the early stage of dealing with sex addiction is terribly paralyzing.  I was an absolute mess.  I probably should have been committed.  But I got through it, somehow......with the support from this site, support from dear friends at work that I told, etc.   Support of other women is critical.  Find a meeting that you can attend simply for the fellowship.  It will help.

You may feel all alone in this, but you are definately not alone.  There are countless women who are walking this path with you and have walked the path before you.  Seek them out and let them help you.  women that are ahead of you on this path realize how vulnerable you are and how much you need loving support right now.  Seek them out.  You'll be glad you did.  Even if it's just a skype phone call.  Talking with someone else will help.

My best,  DW

I'm now 25 months post discovery. 

I now see light, but only when I imagine leaving this marriage. 

Whereas my "husband" is no longer acting out with porn/lust, or so he says, and is no longer drinking that I can tell, he's not my husband in any sense of the word other than legally.

He is not my emotional equal and will never be.

He goes to 4 12-step meetings a week and 1 rehab session, so net bottom line, I'm still alone physically and emotionally.

I have another session scheduled with the therapist who specializes in intimacy anorexia today.

I am joining the group therapy session for wives of intimacy anorexics.

I am reconsidering my decision not to take anti-depressants.

I will not live the rest of my life like this. 

Let us resolve to help and support one another throughout, share what works, share what we learn, and be resolute in our determination to make positive changes in our lives.

Best to all,  DW

Yes i think its time we all move on and give up on them finally!!!!!!

They will never truly change, this has been the loneliest marriage.

I want a warm fun loving man! Who is a Christian and follows GodS plan.

I will pray for all of us women on this site that we make it to the light at the end of this tunnel.

N2Bfree

Just to clarify, all are welcome here, regardless of beliefs.  I know that these matters are excruciating, and perhaps I need to challenge myself to be a better source of encouragement and hope.

TruthSeeker