Good days and then BAD days

Dear LadyP,

The good days/bad days roller coaster is pretty typical.  I am less and less enamoured of professional help.  To be truly effective, you have to find a therapist that is trained in the trauma model.  It is my understanding that those are few and far between.  The vast majority of therapists are trained that we, the wives/partners of sex addicts, are "do-dependent" simply by virtue of being married to a sex addict.  We are labeled because of THEIR addiction.  That's not helpful.  The first therapist I saw took this approach and completely ignored my pain. 

I think you have found one of the best sources of support, here.  I would also urge you to find a 12 step group for wives/partners.  They can be tremendously helpful because you can meet and talk with women who are experiencing the same things.  They are free/supported by free-will offerings.  Many of them do take the co-addict approach to the wife.  If you can ignore that portion of it, and use the group for the fellowship that occurs after the formal meeting adjourns, I think that would also provide you with some support.

Please take care,  DW