Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2011 4:01:22 GMT -7
Hello, everyone.
First, let me explain just a little. I love my faith. However, sexual addiction is something that I've been struggling with for years. I know it's wrong, but I just decide to do it anyway. Then, I end up feeling terrible - I bow down on my bedroom floor, say many prayers and ask for mercy. Then, I just turn around and do it again, fully knowing that it's wrong. I've never given in to the point of actually having sex with someone - I'm actually still a virgin, but I view porn and do things by myself. I've tried to quit by sheer willpower, but the longest I've ever gone is four or five months. Usually, it's no more than a week after I pray and ask God for help before I'm doing it again. I think about doing it, then I can feel the physiological change in me, which makes me desire it again.
It's odd, though, because deep down, I really do love my faith, and what I'm REALLY looking for in life isn't sex - I want a real relationship with someone (which I haven't been in fo 6 years, so I'm very lonely nowadays), and sometimes I convince myself that sexual pleasure is a viable alternative. I guess that's just one of the lures of the devil.
So, what I'm getting at, here, is that I would really like some encouragement, and an accountability partner. I'm new to this site, and I don't know how things are normally done, but if someone could offer some advice, or a partnership, I would greatly appreciate it.
My prayers go out to everyone on this site. I really hope that I can overcome this.
First, let me explain just a little. I love my faith. However, sexual addiction is something that I've been struggling with for years. I know it's wrong, but I just decide to do it anyway. Then, I end up feeling terrible - I bow down on my bedroom floor, say many prayers and ask for mercy. Then, I just turn around and do it again, fully knowing that it's wrong. I've never given in to the point of actually having sex with someone - I'm actually still a virgin, but I view porn and do things by myself. I've tried to quit by sheer willpower, but the longest I've ever gone is four or five months. Usually, it's no more than a week after I pray and ask God for help before I'm doing it again. I think about doing it, then I can feel the physiological change in me, which makes me desire it again.
It's odd, though, because deep down, I really do love my faith, and what I'm REALLY looking for in life isn't sex - I want a real relationship with someone (which I haven't been in fo 6 years, so I'm very lonely nowadays), and sometimes I convince myself that sexual pleasure is a viable alternative. I guess that's just one of the lures of the devil.
So, what I'm getting at, here, is that I would really like some encouragement, and an accountability partner. I'm new to this site, and I don't know how things are normally done, but if someone could offer some advice, or a partnership, I would greatly appreciate it.
My prayers go out to everyone on this site. I really hope that I can overcome this.