Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2011 1:09:09 GMT -7
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2011 4:00:43 GMT -7
Dear LadyP,
This is clear evidence of PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It happened to me for a good 18 months. I would wake up drowning.....something was holding me under water. I either had cinder blocks tied to my ankles, or something else was holding me under water. I awoke terrified, gasping, and I couldn't get back to sleep for hours because of the adrenaline rush I experienced as a result of the nightmare.
It's horrible. I understand. I started exercising as a means to reduce my weight, treat my newly diagnosed diabetes and to try to reduce my blood pressure. The nightmares stopped at about the same time. I don't know if that was coincidence or as a direct result of the stress reduction that occurs as part of exercising. I'd like to suggest that you go to the gym, work with a trainer if possible and walk on the treadmill for an hour a day. While you are at the gym, it is important to make this YOUR TIME. You are not a wife, mother, daughter, sister, or ___________(fill in your occupation). Work on you, for you. This is not about trying to make yourself attractive to the sick SOB. SCREW HIM. This is YOUR TIME to work on you FOR YOU and deal with the stress you are under as a direct result of the sex addict.
If that doesn't work, go to your doctor, level with him/her about what is going on in your life. Maybe a prescription anti-anxiety medication is in order. WARNING: They are terribly addicting. I suggest exercise first.
My best to you......DW
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2011 8:21:56 GMT -7
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2011 7:31:43 GMT -7
Dear LadyP,
My BP is still high and I still take a fistfull of meds every day to control it. I hope that as my weight declines that I will be able to reduce my dependence on the meds. I have a startling new symptom....my feet are numb. I doctor is suggesting that I see a neurologist to rule out MS. This started about the same time I found the porn with tingling and altered sensation. It's gotten progressively worse over the last two years.
I bid you health...........peace..........tranquility...........
My best, DW
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2011 18:31:57 GMT -7
DW have you divorced your husband?
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2011 1:17:18 GMT -7
Have I divorced my husband?
Legally.......no.
Emotionally........yes.
Physically.........yes.
The marriage is over, if there ever was a "marriage."
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2011 19:22:37 GMT -7
Unfortunately i know exactly how you feel. Do you plan on making it official and moving on in life?
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2011 2:43:08 GMT -7
That is an excellent question.
To my knowledge, he is not acting out with porn or booze. He is in "recovery" although I still see clear evidence of addictive behavior, addicted methods of communication (manipulation vs. clear, direct, unequivocal statements), and emotionally, he's 12....on a good day.
If there is to be a marriage with this "man," it has to be a new marriage, built/rebuilt from square one. At this point, I don't think I can get past all that he has done to me, all that he has stolen from me. So, building/rebuilding would seem to be a pointless exercise.
As to "getting on with life," I am doing that now. I'm working on me. Building a new business, etc. My life revolves around ME, not the "husband." I don't believe that my future includes any relationship with any <expletive deleted> man. So, if "getting on with life" means finding another man, that's unlikely, at best. Financially, it probably makes sense to stay together, but we're roommates, not husband and wife, not lovers....roommates or business partners who share real property, a bank account, a brokerage account, etc. It's a pathetic existence.
I don't think I can or will ever trust any man ever again. If I thought I could get to the point where I could trust again and find a true partner, I would divorce him in a heartbeat. As I don't ever see that happening, there is no need to divorce him.
I have just found a group for wives of intimacy anorexics. I intend to join it and do the exercises (100 of them), to help me deal with the fact that I wasted 25 years, the best 25 years, of my life on this "man." As I complete those exercises, I hope to gain a better understanding of why I put up with this for the last 25 years......yes, I did it for the children.......but that was a mistake. All they got out of the deal was an absent father and a miserable mother. I need to understand how I got involved with an intimacy anorexic, stayed with an intimacy anorexic, before I can ever contemplate a new relationship.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2011 3:47:45 GMT -7
Dear LadyP,
The new therapist I spoke with last week is fascinated by the dreams wives of sex addicts/intimacy anorexics have. She said they quite often involve not being able to breathe. Some women she's worked with describe it as being locked in a house with no air.
We're not alone!!!
My best, DW
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2011 5:59:28 GMT -7
Dear DW,
Again we seem to be.living the same life, I too am starting a business and working on my health, Losing weight. And i too am just roommates and financial partners. I feel too i need to.work on myself beforw i make any big decisions. But i def wont go on like this forever.
I too feel like all men must be pigs but i have a little hope that there might be a good man out there for me?
I just dont love him at this point so.its depressing to be living with him.
Thanks for sharing!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2011 7:54:44 GMT -7
Dear Need2BFree,
I find that the more I interact with normal people, the less depressed I am. I would urge you to get out with friends on a regular basis.
I had dinner with friends last Friday and that did wonders for my outlook. The emotional isolation we experience is really damaging.
Please take care.........
My best, DW
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2011 19:58:13 GMT -7
Ok yes thank you for affirming what i do experience. When i am with friends or family i feel much less depressed, when i am with him i feel so lonely.
I will call the hotline tmrw for a refferal for intimacy anorexic.
Thanks,
Need2befree
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2011 20:02:48 GMT -7
Hi all,
I too have had nightmares, Last night it was him with one of the work women.
Tossed and turned.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2011 9:05:52 GMT -7
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2011 17:20:18 GMT -7
I am sooooooo sorry!
|
|