Thank you for posting the articles, Mike. I appreciate this advice to the men:
"
Contentedness.
In the context of choking off lust, this means saying “I will be content with the wife God has
given me.†We refuse to compare our wives with other women, or allow our greedy flesh to
roll in the muddy lie that “the grass is greener on the other side.†It’s not, it won’t satisfy, and
jumping over will swing a wrecking ball into the lives of those we love. By learning to be
content with the gift of the spouse God has given us, we are not only choosing humility but
nipping lust in the bud.
One way to give contentedness wings in your soul is to praise and thank God for your wife,
every day. Ask Him to help you want the woman He’s given you. Pray for your wife often, and
ask God to bless her with His love and presence. If your relationship has dried up, start doing
the things you used to do when you courted her; pursue your wife all over again and make her a
priority, second only to the Lord.
Contentedness is a choice that must be made in every part of life—family, finances, ministry,
and career. It’s “Lord, thank You for what You’ve given me today†instead of “I want, I need, I
crave, I must have.†If circumstances are difficult, contentedness chooses to accept and see them
through God’s eyes rather than rebel in anger, or retreat in depression, despair, fantasy, or some
other broken escape mechanism. While this is no easy task, it’s what Paul meant when he wrote:
Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I
know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and
every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having
abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.Philippians 4:12-13
The humility of contentedness trusts that God is in every circumstance, will work it out for good
(Romans 8:28), and will provide our needs (Philippians 4:19). It replaces emptiness and self–
seeking with peace and a heart of gratefulness for the persons and situations our sovereign Lord
has given us."
I think this advice attacks the addictive cycle directly and is appropriate for the "men." Do you have any corresponding advice for the wives? I've tried to turn this around, but I can't. After what I've been through.......I don't trust "God" anymore.......I don't even think "He" exists. I rather think it's all an involved fairytale. I'm not thankful for the "husband" I've been "given" (some gift) and I'm really hoping that he rots in hell....if there is such a place. There is no one who is going to save me from the <adjective deleted> I married other than me. I've bought a franchise and I'm moving forward. God doesn't exist or he has chosen to abandon me. If it is to be, it is up to me. I guess I'm looking for solid secular advice on healing. Maybe this isn't the place.
I appreciate whatever you can provide.
My best, DW
