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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2011 4:11:06 GMT -7
I was talking to my husband the other night when I realized that he was minimizing. I knew this because of the words he chose when talking about his addiction. He said, "you act like I do this (every) time you leave the house, or every day". My response was, "well, you do". Back and forth we went in a polite respectful way, but I was not going to let this bit of reality slip by. I then asked, "what did you do on Tuesday when I was gone from home for three hours"? He said, "nothing...worked on the computer". He looked and seemed very sincere. I asked again, and requested that he think really hard about it. Still, I got a confused look and a man who truly seemed to be trying to remember. When I finally reminded him of the episode I knew about (looking at porn alongside a photo of a mutual female friend on the computer) he spaced out, then looked at his feet and said, "Oh, yeah, I guess I did, I'd forgotten"
My question is then, is the fugue - hypnotic trance like state so complete that he would need to be reminded a mere two days later? Or was he lying? or perhaps a combination of both? I feel like I am dealing with a mental patient.
Please explain this to me if anyone has any insight or experience with this.
Thank you
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2011 7:59:45 GMT -7
You are dealing wtih a mental patient. There is a stupor that overcomes them....there is no question about that. There is also no question that their "memories" are very convenient. Who knows what was really going on. The reality is you can't trust him as far as you can throw him.
Good luck.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2011 18:50:33 GMT -7
my husband also minimizes, its so painful
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2011 4:41:52 GMT -7
They need intensive, inpatient or outpatient rehab. The private therapy did nothing. The 12-step program did nothing. Only intensive inpatient seemed to work, to a small degree, to break down some of the mental barriers to progress.
My "husband" was discharged on Thursday, two days ago, from intensive outpatient rehab for alcohol. I have some handouts that explain what to look for in a relapse. I see happening already. He was not ready to be discharged, but the insurance wouldn't pay for anymore. The incredibly high relapse rate may be directly due to the insurance companies requiring discharge when the patient isn't ready.
Seeing the before and after, I'm now convinced that sex addicts need rehab just like drug addicts or alcoholics.
Best, DW
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2011 21:25:24 GMT -7
Its been a year since my husband last relapse and 8 weeks since i know. He was with a prostitute. This thing is so hurftul. It has brought me so very close to God i can say. My marriage from the beginning has been tainted. In all this , Its made me stronger if anyone can understand that. I see more and more my dependance on God , and not man. The trust, there isnt any. I love him. Not in that movie loving stuff way, but that God love. I know there is nothing wrong with me. i know he is not like this because of me. i know he does not go out and hurt me with intent. But i do wonder is this the thorn in my side,
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2011 0:10:48 GMT -7
Hi Wanda,
Have you read An Affair of the Mind, by Laurie Hall? When I saw the title, I thought it was just about pornography, but her husband also escalated to physical adultery.
Praying for you... TruthSeeker
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2011 12:51:59 GMT -7
hi
truthseeker, no but i will look into it. thank you.
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