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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2010 20:32:22 GMT -7
Hi all, I havn't read a great deal on this forum, but, what I have read I can identify with. I am the partner of a porn addict, at least, that all I hope it is. I could right a book, this has been an issue for some time (like years) and have only just discovered how this disease works it's roots into all areas of his and my life. I was suffering very very low self esteem and got to a very bad/evil place and one day typed in porn addiction into the computer and oila'! what I have read explained my symptons of an already low self esteem getting worse. I know I am not a saint and have gone thru addictions myself, but, this really gets to the core and soul of an already low self esteemed F. I do hope I can share my experience strength and hope here, and receive the same in return. thanks guys....healing prayers.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2010 23:36:56 GMT -7
Welcome!
I'm an addict, not a partner, but I wanted to make sure you got as prompt a welcome as possible. This board has very little traffic these days, but I'm sure you'll hear from a couple of people anyway.
Obviously one's self-esteem takes a huge hit in this sort of thing, but do try to believe that his addiction has nothing to do with you. If he's like most of us, he was addicted before you met and unless he gets serious about recovery, he'd be addicted whoever he was married to.
May you find the support and freedom you seek.
Tim M.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2010 11:40:14 GMT -7
Thank you for the warm welcome. Yes, he had the addiction before I met him. I don't know whether I should reveal this but it helps me to try and understand how serious this addiction is to not only me, but to him as well. We are both recovering alcoholics. I have been sober 10 years with a bust in between for 1 year. He has been sober for 13 yrs. Now, my understanding in AA is that we can/will swap one addiction for the another. I do not have an addiction other than I smoked a little of the green stuff and relized that I was swapping the **** for the witch. My delema so to speak, is that I thought my partner knowing all this stuff would have relized and stopped. He only just recently told me that he has tried to stop and knows he has an obsession and smashed his laptop. Alas is not the answer. He should know that with all our teachings of what a disease does. It takes a power greater than ourselves and like you said, seriousness and honesty with oneself. I have had to let him work it out for himself now, I do not ask, or nag or snoop. I have to work on myself. I do not believe him yet that he will "get it" so to speak. I has done a lot of damage and I know that it will take time. Patience is a virtue they say. I don't know what to think,feel,act except leave him alone to deal with it if he wants to. He knows I know it is an addiction, and we both know what an addiction is. I found something I did not expect to find, which was probably due to withdrawls. I need to ask questions because I have no idea how to help him if he needs/wants my support. He is 49 and fantazing over young girls. I have in the past asked him to let me go to fulfil his fantasy because it was bigger than both of us, he said I was the only one for him. I have my doubts, and it is hard to live in doubt every day of your life. Thank you I will be back because I seriously need all the help I can get. It is so hard to fathom that there is nothing wrong with me and that he would be like that even if he fulfilled his fantasy. I have always believed that he would be happy for ever with a 20 yr old. I have had such sick thoughts that I would never have dreamed of over all of this.
regards catseye:?
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