Two Personalities

Yes.  I did this a lot.

Addicts commonly perceive themselves as being two different people, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.  (The name Hyde/hide isn't accidental, either.)

Rage behavior was very much a part of my addictive pattern.  Rage because I was angry at myself and misdirected that anger outward.  Rage to control others because I could not control myself.  Rage because if there is conflict and my needs are not being met, then I feel justified in meeting them elsewhere.

Then the cycle is over, I've acted out, the tension is released, I've vowed never to do it again, I'm feeling good about myself as a newly moral person, I need to make up and start over.

But of course, it's only the same cycle starting over.

That's a pretty brief outline of how it has worked for me.  I defend none of that; I just attempt to describe it.  Sorry I can't write more now.

Tim M.