Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2010 9:53:34 GMT -7
hi,
i've been free from porn and masturbation for 2 months now. and it is amazing! i've been a christian all my life and have been in and out of porn use for the past 13 years. i've tried so many things over that time but this time is different. i can taste the victory. i'm excited because the first time in ages, i'm finally putting 'childish' things away and becoming a man.
it has been a hard season. i lost my girlfriend when i confessed to her that i was a porn addict. and the pain, wounding and hurt i have inflicted on her and on myself hurts constantly. i have yet to wake up in the morning without feeling emotional pain and i am deeply grieved because i betrayed my best friend. and reading the threads on the forums has been so convicting in my heart.
BUT, God works all things for our good, and this has all come into the light because God has so much better planned for me and for all of us!
SO, i wanted to share my experience of victory.
i'm in a community of people that love and accept me unconditionally. i'm doing daily accountability with a trusted friend and pastor. i live in a house with a bunch of men that are pursing intimacy with the Father and purity.
and here are the fruits... and this is only from 2 months of freedom and healing!
i'm less fearful of people.
i'm not ashamed of who i am, or my past (this was a hard-fought battle)
i like the way god made me.
i like my personality.
i'm more connected with god.
i'm more connected with my friends.
i have more free time.
i'm thinking more creatively.
i'm more adventurous and risk-taking.
i have better relational and workplace boundaries.
i'm more peaceful.
i'm no longer addicted to movies, TV series or computer games.
i don't need to 'wind down' with some form of media at the end of the day.
my mind is clearer.
i don't have to juggle my hidden addiction.
i feel free to be myself.
i feel the need to control my life is lessening.
i'm learning to trust god with my future.
i'm better at expressing my thoughts and feelings.
i'm learning what real relationship looks like, not the fantasy version.
i feel loved.
i know i'm loved.
i think the most exciting thing is i no longer feel like a little boy trying to hide from everyone in case they find out how scared and ashamed i am.
i feel empowered. i feel free. and i'm excited for the future.
(btw, i am feeling lots and lots of pain because porn was my pain anesthetic, but i'm FEELING again! And God is big enough for all my pain!)
SO, I'd love to hear more stories of victory and breakthrough.
i've been free from porn and masturbation for 2 months now. and it is amazing! i've been a christian all my life and have been in and out of porn use for the past 13 years. i've tried so many things over that time but this time is different. i can taste the victory. i'm excited because the first time in ages, i'm finally putting 'childish' things away and becoming a man.
it has been a hard season. i lost my girlfriend when i confessed to her that i was a porn addict. and the pain, wounding and hurt i have inflicted on her and on myself hurts constantly. i have yet to wake up in the morning without feeling emotional pain and i am deeply grieved because i betrayed my best friend. and reading the threads on the forums has been so convicting in my heart.
BUT, God works all things for our good, and this has all come into the light because God has so much better planned for me and for all of us!
SO, i wanted to share my experience of victory.
i'm in a community of people that love and accept me unconditionally. i'm doing daily accountability with a trusted friend and pastor. i live in a house with a bunch of men that are pursing intimacy with the Father and purity.
and here are the fruits... and this is only from 2 months of freedom and healing!
i'm less fearful of people.
i'm not ashamed of who i am, or my past (this was a hard-fought battle)
i like the way god made me.
i like my personality.
i'm more connected with god.
i'm more connected with my friends.
i have more free time.
i'm thinking more creatively.
i'm more adventurous and risk-taking.
i have better relational and workplace boundaries.
i'm more peaceful.
i'm no longer addicted to movies, TV series or computer games.
i don't need to 'wind down' with some form of media at the end of the day.
my mind is clearer.
i don't have to juggle my hidden addiction.
i feel free to be myself.
i feel the need to control my life is lessening.
i'm learning to trust god with my future.
i'm better at expressing my thoughts and feelings.
i'm learning what real relationship looks like, not the fantasy version.
i feel loved.
i know i'm loved.
i think the most exciting thing is i no longer feel like a little boy trying to hide from everyone in case they find out how scared and ashamed i am.
i feel empowered. i feel free. and i'm excited for the future.
(btw, i am feeling lots and lots of pain because porn was my pain anesthetic, but i'm FEELING again! And God is big enough for all my pain!)
SO, I'd love to hear more stories of victory and breakthrough.
