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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2010 17:12:46 GMT -7
I don't care how many people will tell me to leave my husband. I won't do it. One, because i love him even will all the problems, i can see pass the addiction and just see his genuine self. Im willing to fight for it because i can see more to him. I believe it's the addition thats made him think certain ways.
I started therapy or counseling. And first thing out of her mouth is to leave my husband because he's been unfaithful and because he won't get along with me or that he's so caught up in his problems that he will never look at me and see im involve in his life.
I won't leave him. But there are something i'd like to know what im allowed to do or say. I always was a believer of two sides of a story so i'd like to know "non selfishly" what im allowed to do or say.
My husbands therapy told me that he doesn't have to tell me anything if he doesn't want too. Also she says im struggling from co dependency and it is why im always on his case and being such a problem to him on top of his recovery. To be honest this sounds wrong to me but hey, shes an expert on sex addiction because she too was married to a sex addict. So maybe im just so angry on the situation or the past that i blindly always end up trying to defend my feelings that might be false in a way.
My husband has been going to steps and counseling for about a year. He's lately been going to the counseling more often, rather then the step studies.
But my question is. Do i have the right to know about his past, the full story not bits and pieces i have to put together as the years go by.
I hate the feeling that my husband keeps secrets from me. i feel im living with a stranger, afraid because i don't know what to expect. A few days ago i went to go get tested with my husband and when the guy asked me if i knew how many men and woman he's been with or his he used protection. I didn't have an answer and the guy looked at me disappointed.
I try to be involve with his recovery, i try to talk or learn about it with him, but he just won't let me in. He won't say anything to me about his recovery because it has to do with his past. So its hard for me to believe that he is doing something about it or be at peace about it.
He ask me to trust him and he tells me it hurst him because i don't but i can't fully trust that hes recovering, with all the secretsy he's keeping from me. I though as wife and husband we supposed to share everything.
I mean yeah he stop acting out with strangers but his moods and his ways are this the same from when he used to act out. Or at least it feels like it slowly coming back.
Im probably rambeling now, but i need to know from those that experience this, not by a therapist that doesn't know what this feels like. I need to know what are my rights of being married to someone who is a sex addict.
I want to help him, but not to where i'll feel like a puppet or a slave. emotionally.
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teetop
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Post by teetop on Jun 27, 2016 3:50:42 GMT -7
Don't give up LindaBeans, you have an interesting story and you've raised some things that probably would help you on the road of life. A Quote from another thread of yours: Post by LindaBeans on Aug 6, 2010 at 5:16pm I was also curious to know if there is a bible study i can do to help with this specific thing. Like being married to a sex addict or how to be a godly woman. I need help with handling this, i really don't like my therapist who's only solution is to divorce him. I don't like to give up with out a fight. So anything that can help me live according to god as a woman. Thanks!
A study of God's word is a great choice to start with. (It is a guide to our daily lives.) And as for those who would push for you getting a Divorce, I'd wonder about their agenda?
God Hates Divorce and here is the scriptural reference: Mal_2:16 "For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one's garment with violence," Says the LORD of hosts. Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously." NKJV Now I realize this verse is pulled out of context for it is speaking about 'Spiritual Divorce' and yet if you study God's word, you will find that divorce is seldom condoned by God except in a very narrow band. And there are for the most part unwanted consequences. A study of scriptural marriage is what I would suggest.
I also noticed you and your husband are both in counseling? And the counselor is saying secrets within the marriage is OK? If it was me and my counselor said that; I'd be heading for the door and fire him/her.
Remember this: God set up the rules of marriage not man, and this is what He said: Gen 2:24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. Gen 2:25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. NASB
I don't care how many people will tell me to leave my husband. I won't do it. One, because i love him even will all the problems, i can see pass the addiction and just see his genuine self. Im willing to fight for it because i can see more to him. I believe it's the addition thats made him think certain ways. I started therapy or counseling. And first thing out of her mouth is to leave my husband because he's been unfaithful and because he won't get along with me or that he's so caught up in his problems that he will never look at me and see im involve in his life. I won't leave him. But there are something i'd like to know what im allowed to do or say. I always was a believer of two sides of a story so i'd like to know "non selfishly" what im allowed to do or say. My husbands therapy told me that he doesn't have to tell me anything if he doesn't want too. Also she says im struggling from co dependency and it is why im always on his case and being such a problem to him on top of his recovery. To be honest this sounds wrong to me but hey, shes an expert on sex addiction because she too was married to a sex addict. So maybe im just so angry on the situation or the past that i blindly always end up trying to defend my feelings that might be false in a way. My husband has been going to steps and counseling for about a year. He's lately been going to the counseling more often, rather then the step studies. But my question is. Do i have the right to know about his past, the full story not bits and pieces i have to put together as the years go by. I hate the feeling that my husband keeps secrets from me. i feel im living with a stranger, afraid because i don't know what to expect. A few days ago i went to go get tested with my husband and when the guy asked me if i knew how many men and woman he's been with or his he used protection. I didn't have an answer and the guy looked at me disappointed. I try to be involve with his recovery, i try to talk or learn about it with him, but he just won't let me in. He won't say anything to me about his recovery because it has to do with his past. So its hard for me to believe that he is doing something about it or be at peace about it. He ask me to trust him and he tells me it hurst him because i don't but i can't fully trust that hes recovering, with all the secretsy he's keeping from me. I though as wife and husband we supposed to share everything. I mean yeah he stop acting out with strangers but his moods and his ways are this the same from when he used to act out. Or at least it feels like it slowly coming back. Im probably rambeling now, but i need to know from those that experience this, not by a therapist that doesn't know what this feels like. I need to know what are my rights of being married to someone who is a sex addict. I want to help him, but not to where i'll feel like a puppet or a slave. emotionally.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2016 12:28:30 GMT -7
"My husbands therapy told me that he doesn't have to tell me anything if he doesn't want too. Also she says im struggling from co dependency and it is why im always on his case and being such a problem to him on top of his recovery. To be honest this sounds wrong to me but hey, shes an expert on sex addiction because she too was married to a sex addict. So maybe im just so angry on the situation or the past that i blindly always end up trying to defend my feelings that might be false in a way."
This all sounds very wrong to me. Is she YOUR therapist? if not, on what basis is she diagnosing you as co-dependent? Always on his case? For real? This sounds like a very enabling therapist who sees the poor addict as a victim only. Yes he is a victim of the deception of porn, but in so far as the relationship goes he is the perpetrator of abuse and you are the victim. Whether or not you have co-dependent traits does not make his violating of the marriage covenant, adultery, and lies your fault at all.
The problems are caused by dishonesty and lies, and as such you have rights to certain information. I wouldnt say you have 'rights' to know absolutely everything about his past before you met, but if there are certain things you need to know, that are incredibly important to you and would have changed your decision to marry him or stay in the marriage, then i believe you should have answers.
Since the marriage, you have a right to know things broadly such as in what form acting out took, dates it started and stopped, and any people involved. Certainly you have a right to know how his recovery is going, what approach is being taken, what he is working on, and whether there is current immorality that would affect your decision on whether you could be intimate with him at this time.
I would not be happy with that therapist at all though. My husband had two who 'diagnosed' me without ever speaking to me. He dumped the 2nd of his own accord because he didnt need or want someone justifying his entitled behaviour. He wanted to be able to rant, sure, but then be reminded that he caused this and he had to be patient while the damage is healed. Not be told that maybe I'm punishing him and should give him sex as a 'well done for beig good' which is essentially what the therapist said.
Not all therapists are created equal.......
I think you're doing great with your commitment to your husband and willingness to persevere. But you are right to be wary if character traits are slipping back in. It sounds like you're more tuned in than that therapist. Would your husband consider changing to one who uses a different model? I seriously cant see how he can benefit from having negative attitudes to you validated. It might be nice for him but its really not helpful to mollycoddle an addict.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2016 12:30:32 GMT -7
oh ive just seen the original post was years ago lol
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2016 15:50:15 GMT -7
Why is this old post from 2010 appearing as a new post?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2016 17:38:40 GMT -7
It is still old but someone responded to it.
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teetop
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Post by teetop on Jun 28, 2016 8:17:57 GMT -7
Your right Ellekay the posting was back in 2010 and I responded because of the encouragement for; 'Divorce.' When it comes to counselors, even supposed Christian ones, need to be put to the test of scripture. Counseling is Scriptural. That is providing you are seeking the right counsel, but it still needs to be put to the test of God's word.
Psa_1:1 How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers! Psa 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you. Psa_73:24 With Your counsel You will guide me, And afterward receive me to glory. Pro_1:5 A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, Pro_1:25 And you neglected all my counsel And did not want my reproof; Pro_1:30 "They would not accept my counsel, They spurned all my reproof. Pro_8:14 "Counsel is mine and sound wisdom; I am understanding, power is mine. Pro_12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel. Pro_13:10 Through insolence comes nothing but strife, But wisdom is with those who receive counsel. Pro_19:20 Listen to counsel and accept discipline, That you may be wise the rest of your days. Pro_19:21 Many plans are in a man's heart, But the counsel of the LORD will stand.
Now this is just a short list of scripture touching on counseling.
And when it comes to; Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage, God has not left us without counsel. The sad thing about it though, is we make choices based on our feelings rather than on God's counsel or word.
We should always remember along with all its connotations that the marriage creates a new person by combining the two into one. Gen 2:24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. (I think it was God who made this statement, not Adam. I would draw your attention to Matt 19:4-5, where Jesus Himself, makes that statement) Paul speaks of this in: Rom 7:2 For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband. And again in: 1Co 7:4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. And the response of Jesus Christ when the question of divorce was put to Him: Mar 10:2 Some Pharisees came up to Jesus, testing Him, and began to question Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife. Mar 10:3 And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?" Mar 10:4 They said, "Moses permitted a man TO WRITE A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY." Mar 10:5 But Jesus said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. Mar 10:6 "But from the beginning of creation, God MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE. Mar 10:7 "FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, Mar 10:8 AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. Mar 10:9 "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." Mar 10:10 In the house the disciples began questioning Him about this again. Mar 10:11 And He *said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; Mar 10:12 and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.
If your wondering why I think along these lines, it's simple. I tried to use scripture to support my debauchery a long time ago. And the more I tried, the more God's word shot me down. This list of scriptures keeps me thinking about walking in my flesh: Rev_22:15; Mal_3:5; 1Co_6:9-10; Gal_5:19-21; Eph_5:5-6; 1Ti_1:9-10; Heb_12:24, Heb_13:4; 1Jo_3:15 And along with seeking a Christian counselor that turned out bad. May we walk according to God's direction and not in our flesh. Virgil
"My husbands therapy told me that he doesn't have to tell me anything if he doesn't want too. Also she says im struggling from co dependency and it is why im always on his case and being such a problem to him on top of his recovery. To be honest this sounds wrong to me but hey, shes an expert on sex addiction because she too was married to a sex addict. So maybe im just so angry on the situation or the past that i blindly always end up trying to defend my feelings that might be false in a way." This all sounds very wrong to me. Is she YOUR therapist? if not, on what basis is she diagnosing you as co-dependent? Always on his case? For real? This sounds like a very enabling therapist who sees the poor addict as a victim only. Yes he is a victim of the deception of porn, but in so far as the relationship goes he is the perpetrator of abuse and you are the victim. Whether or not you have co-dependent traits does not make his violating of the marriage covenant, adultery, and lies your fault at all. The problems are caused by dishonesty and lies, and as such you have rights to certain information. I wouldnt say you have 'rights' to know absolutely everything about his past before you met, but if there are certain things you need to know, that are incredibly important to you and would have changed your decision to marry him or stay in the marriage, then i believe you should have answers. Since the marriage, you have a right to know things broadly such as in what form acting out took, dates it started and stopped, and any people involved. Certainly you have a right to know how his recovery is going, what approach is being taken, what he is working on, and whether there is current immorality that would affect your decision on whether you could be intimate with him at this time. I would not be happy with that therapist at all though. My husband had two who 'diagnosed' me without ever speaking to me. He dumped the 2nd of his own accord because he didnt need or want someone justifying his entitled behaviour. He wanted to be able to rant, sure, but then be reminded that he caused this and he had to be patient while the damage is healed. Not be told that maybe I'm punishing him and should give him sex as a 'well done for beig good' which is essentially what the therapist said. Not all therapists are created equal....... I think you're doing great with your commitment to your husband and willingness to persevere. But you are right to be wary if character traits are slipping back in. It sounds like you're more tuned in than that therapist. Would your husband consider changing to one who uses a different model? I seriously cant see how he can benefit from having negative attitudes to you validated. It might be nice for him but its really not helpful to mollycoddle an addict.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2016 9:47:53 GMT -7
nobody should tell a wife whether to divorce or not
but scripturally we have the option.
divorce is permissable in cases of sexual immorality (pornea)
just because things are permissable doesnt mean we should always do them
we can only seek guidance from God in our own situations.
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teetop
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Post by teetop on Jun 30, 2016 10:30:00 GMT -7
nobody should tell a wife whether to divorce or not but scriptural y we have the option. Very true and yes we do have the option to choose divorce or not. Providing we are willing to obey God and except the consequences. divorce is permissible in cases of sexual immorality (pornea) Porneia G4202 πορνεία porneia Thayer Definition: 1) illicit sexual intercourse 1a) adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc. 1b) sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18 1c) sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; Mar_10:11, Mar_10:12 2) metaphorically the worship of idols 2a) of the defilement of idolatry, as incurred by eating the sacrifices offered to idols Part of Speech: noun feminine A Related Word by Thayer’s/Strong’s Number: from G4203 Citing in TDNT: 6:579, 918(Thayer's Greek Definitions)
just because things are permissible doesn't mean we should always do them. we can only seek guidance from God in our own situations. Here is a short list of 'Sexual Immorality;' in the NIV. As noted earlier for 'PORNEIA' Take each verse and note WHO commits the adulterous act and by what means. In other-words, what act constituted Sexual Immorality. Num_25:1 While Israel was staying in Shittim, the men began to indulge in sexual immorality with Moabite women,
Mat_5:32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Mat_15:19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts--murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.
Mat_19:9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."
Mar_7:21 For it is from within, out of a person's heart, that evil thoughts come--sexual immorality, theft, murder,
Act_15:20 Instead we should write to them, telling them to abstain from food polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from the meat of strangled animals and from blood.
Act_15:29 You are to abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals and from sexual immorality. You will do well to avoid these things. Farewell.
Act_21:25 As for the Gentile believers, we have written to them our decision that they should abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals and from sexual immorality."
Rom_13:13 Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy.
1Co_5:1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping with his father's wife.
1Co_6:13 You say, "Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both." The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
1Co_6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
1Co_7:2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.
1Co_10:8 We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did--and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died.
Gal_5:19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;
Eph_5:3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.
Col_3:5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.
1Th_4:3 It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality;
Jud_1:7 In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire.
Rev_2:14 Nevertheless, I have a few things against you: There are some among you who hold to the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to entice the Israelites to sin so that they ate food sacrificed to idols and committed sexual immorality.
Rev_2:20 Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophet. By her teaching she misleads my servants into sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols.
Rev_9:21 Nor did they repent of their murders, their magic arts, their sexual immorality or their thefts. (NIV) One other side note when it comes to sin where adultery is not any worse than being a lyer or gossiper.
1Co 6:9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 1Co 6:10 nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2016 9:23:31 GMT -7
but scriptural y we have the option. Very true and yes we do have the option to choose divorce or not. Providing we are willing to obey God and except the consequences.
Teetop I'm not sure what point you are making, if any? Are you agreeing with me or disapproving of the available option to divorce? accept the consequences sounds a little like a punishment for choice made, you see.
There are horrible consequences to divorce. I see women struggle to provide for their children when they leave an adulterous husband. This is why God hates divorce. It causes such struggle and pain that he would not want us to have.
But nor does he condemn us to a life sentence with adulterous men. That pain is even worse and so damaging to our souls to be united with pornography through sexual relations with a man using it . God hates that people forsake their spouses to find sexual satisfaction outside the marriage. It is the reasons for divorce he hates, and the consequences on both the inocent and guilty parties. There are hard consequences for the innocent party either way. Going alone is tough,staying can be harmful.
"But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart." To follow through that lust to physical release through MB and conscious use of that woman, is adultery with the body, even if only the porn user's body. It has gone to a mixture of physical and heart adultery.
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teetop
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Post by teetop on Jul 4, 2016 6:17:59 GMT -7
Ah, Ellekay, good question. So I decided to take a little closer look. Conflict though of opinions or God's directions abounds some times. As a Christian, my stance is obey or follow God's word even though, like Eve felt God was keeping her from something she desired. Gen 3:6 When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. Now the deception of Satan, and Eve's feelings/Emotion's were in conflict with God's stated commandment. The sad thing when it comes to divorce is we the Church are matching the secular worlds acceptance over God's will and actions.
So, the question is, what does God say about divorce?
1Co 7:10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband 1Co 7:11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife. 1Co 7:12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. 1Co 7:13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. 1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 1Co 7:15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. 1Co 7:16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? 1Co 7:17 Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches.(NASB)
And boy does this raise conflicts in my life. Because I did get a divorce and married a divorced women. And scriptural y speaking, I'm committing adultery and and making my current wife an adulteress.
Quote from 'The Preacher's Complete Homiletical Commentary' 1Co_7:10.—See Bible-class Talk, infra. Mat_5:32; Mat_19:3-9; Mar_10:2-12 . 1Co_7:11. If she depart.—Under such a supposed necessity as seems to her to overbear all other considerations [local, not legal, separation or divorce being supposed], at any rate let her not be led to go further and— 1Co_7:12. The rest.—Viz. to the unmarried, the widows, [and widowers] (“of whom I just made mention”); and now, further, to those involved in a marriage which has become, by the conversion of one party, a mixed one. Another quote from 'The People's New Testament' To the married I command. Some might say, "If the unmarried state is best now, it will be better to leave our married partner." He replies, "The Lord commands otherwise" (Mar_10:12; Mat_5:32; Mat_19:9).
But and if she depart. Provided, despite the prohibition, there is such disagreement that she leaves her husband, she must remain unmarried, or be reconciled. And now I must concur with these Commentators over my own desire's and excuse's.
It probably wouldn't hurt to share that part of my story in another reflection of my past life of debauchery..
but scriptural y we have the option. Very true and yes we do have the option to choose divorce or not. Providing we are willing to obey God and except the consequences.
Teetop I'm not sure what point you are making, if any? Are you agreeing with me or disapproving of the available option to divorce? I'd say disagreeing on the option to divorce. accept the consequences sounds a little like a punishment for choice made, you see. And yes, to except the consequences. As for the punishment(Wrong word), it should say consequences or fruit from our actions.
There are horrible consequences to divorce. I see women struggle to provide for their children when they leave an adulterous husband. This is why God hates divorce. It causes such struggle and pain that he would not want us to have.
God tells us why He hates divorce in Malachi. Mal 2:16 "For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously." Notice the connective word, 'For' it points to what is said prier to the statement. So we put the statement back into it's context: Mal 2:14 "Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Mal 2:15 "But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. Mal 2:16 "For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously." Mal 2:17 You have wearied the LORD with your words.
But nor does he condemn us to a life sentence with adulterous men. That pain is even worse and so damaging to our souls to be united with pornography through sexual relations with a man using it . God hates that people forsake their spouses to find sexual satisfaction outside the marriage. It is the reasons for divorce he hates, and the consequences on both the innocent and guilty parties. There are hard consequences for the innocent party either way. Going alone is tough,staying can be harmful.
"But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart." To follow through that lust to physical release through MB and conscious use of that woman, is adultery with the body, even if only the porn user's body. It has gone to a mixture of physical and heart adultery.
Now Ellekay I do not know your circumstances nor do I presume to judge you. I can only relate what God has said in His word. My lust and actions is what God used to start drawing me to His word and His desire for me over my fleshly desire's. (I'll tell some on my past on this in another part of my life of debauchery.) Virgil
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2016 1:39:04 GMT -7
teetop, i did not choose to divorce through the 8 years of infidelity of sexual immorality on the part of my husband, so i'm not speaking defensively in any way nor do i feel judged by your conclusions
However i strongly believe the scriptures which state divorce is permissable in cases of adultery and sexual immorality.
we should not need to divorce, because spouses should not be adulterous. But since they regrettably are, the innocent spouse is free to divorce and remarry if desired.( This does not mean they will not suffer unfortunate consequences.) I believe this is an undeniable biblical truth. It is quite clear god hates divorce,its are horribly painful but sometimes necessary to protect the innocent, which is why there is the concession. Therefore nobody should use the bible to convince a spouse to stay with an adulterous partner.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2016 7:17:33 GMT -7
I have stayed out of this because I think Elle has done a good job of speaking for those that have divorced. It is sometimes an unavoidable and necessary evil. Some who are in this addiction are unwilling to change or work on this sin. As I am sure most are aware of, this sin takes a downward spiral if left unchecked and can lead to dangerous acting out behavior. This leaves the loved ones in a precarious position that can be unhealthy emotionally, spiritually and physically for them. Christ knew this and left them a way to protect themselves and any children that might be involved.
God does hate divorce but He loves us more than He hates divorce. Also we must remember that divorce and remarriage are not unforgivable sins.
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