Post by Deleted on Jun 17, 2010 7:14:47 GMT -7
Hi everyone
I visited this site about a year ago and could relate to many of your stories. And you can guess why I am back, the terrible cycle.
I am almost reluctant to share the details of my story because it is so similar to many of yours only difference is that he has not acted out. Apart from one online affair that broke my heart, yet again.
I have been struggling with this for the past seven years. I was in love with him, adored him until he broke my heart the first time with the porn. And then again, and again, and again...We have been married for 16 years.
What I would like to know from some of you Christian forumites who have been in this emotional place and then either left or stayed with your husband is what the pros and cons have been after the decision. I suppose what I am asking is your wisdom in hindsight. You left and regretted it. You stayed for another five, ten , twenty years only to regret that you did not leave decades earlier.
I really want to do what Jesus wants me to do and I have always believed that means to stay with him and avoid separation. This has left me feeling lonely and unloved and alone in this marriage. I might as well be separated from him. I am tired of being the "stable Christian family" when actually it is all just a facade. I mean I do not pretend to be a madly devoted wife, I just grin and bear the circumstances.
Today we went for counselling (probably the fourth attempt to address the problem in seven years) with our pastor and my husband would not confess to the porn. He denied it. To me his body language gave it away. I have the evidence from an accountability report. I showed the pastor.
The pastor says we should take him at his word, although I do believe that he is aware my husband has a problem. As it was this same pastor who mentioned that my husband is sick and is stuck in the mess. Only problem he thinks it best for me to stay with him and "work it through". Oh my gosh I am so tired of "working it through". I want to separate and will seek the Lord on this issue but would appreciate you sharing your experiences with this. I have two small kids. I am financially able to live alone and do not need him for my happiness yet I do feel sorry for him and wish he would repent and change.
Thanks for listening
I visited this site about a year ago and could relate to many of your stories. And you can guess why I am back, the terrible cycle.
I am almost reluctant to share the details of my story because it is so similar to many of yours only difference is that he has not acted out. Apart from one online affair that broke my heart, yet again.
I have been struggling with this for the past seven years. I was in love with him, adored him until he broke my heart the first time with the porn. And then again, and again, and again...We have been married for 16 years.
What I would like to know from some of you Christian forumites who have been in this emotional place and then either left or stayed with your husband is what the pros and cons have been after the decision. I suppose what I am asking is your wisdom in hindsight. You left and regretted it. You stayed for another five, ten , twenty years only to regret that you did not leave decades earlier.
I really want to do what Jesus wants me to do and I have always believed that means to stay with him and avoid separation. This has left me feeling lonely and unloved and alone in this marriage. I might as well be separated from him. I am tired of being the "stable Christian family" when actually it is all just a facade. I mean I do not pretend to be a madly devoted wife, I just grin and bear the circumstances.
Today we went for counselling (probably the fourth attempt to address the problem in seven years) with our pastor and my husband would not confess to the porn. He denied it. To me his body language gave it away. I have the evidence from an accountability report. I showed the pastor.
The pastor says we should take him at his word, although I do believe that he is aware my husband has a problem. As it was this same pastor who mentioned that my husband is sick and is stuck in the mess. Only problem he thinks it best for me to stay with him and "work it through". Oh my gosh I am so tired of "working it through". I want to separate and will seek the Lord on this issue but would appreciate you sharing your experiences with this. I have two small kids. I am financially able to live alone and do not need him for my happiness yet I do feel sorry for him and wish he would repent and change.
Thanks for listening