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Im New
May 20, 2010 2:27:45 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 20, 2010 2:27:45 GMT -7
Hey im new to the forums (although not the website).
I suppose my story starts when i was 4-5, I had a unnatural relationship with a friend of the same age were even that young explored sexual things (although we didnt understand anything, we just thaught this is what grown ups do), safe to say, as a young person i was radically over sexualised.
The next stage of course was porn, by 13/14 i was regularily viewing it, or at least masturbating without. My 20th birthday is in 3 weeks today, so ive bin addicted for 7years.
I became a Christian when i was twelve, and have bin living a shame ridden teenage life since. I love theology, and really want to go to bible college next year, but i would feel like a massive hypercrite. i had a 6 month clean spell, so ive tasted what its like without, and all of inside of me is screaming out to be set free again.
Prayers would be appreciated
Tom
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May 20, 2010 10:10:29 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 20, 2010 10:10:29 GMT -7
Welcome, Tomo!
There's very little traffic in the forums these days, though perhaps we will at some point get an influx of everybody who needs to be here.
Do keep praying, but also keep working. It's not just a sin; it's also an emotional illness. Learning to live lives without fleeing into addictive behavior takes help and takes hard psychological work. There's enormous reward there, though.
May you find the blessings you seek.
Tim M.
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May 20, 2010 18:04:26 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on May 20, 2010 18:04:26 GMT -7
Hey My Young Friend, Your not hiding now! You are bringing it to the light and out of the darkness, I've heard it said we are as sick as our secrets, and you are making steps to out of the darkness that is faith in action, a positive move against a negative emotion, The disease loves to be hidden where it can grow, the shame you feel is normal for all addicts,the isolation has keep us bottled up spiritually and emotionally, but now you can shine the light of Gods love and know that His love never fails, nothing can seperate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord, Keep coming back, tell your story for it will become your strength
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Jun 6, 2010 14:16:11 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2010 14:16:11 GMT -7
Welcome Tomo. I think with my husband, that he expected he would be right with God when he became a Christian and he also thought he would be a faithful husband when he married me. He also admitted that he tried to convince himself that he would be done with this when he got older, but I think porn addiction is a cancer that just keeps growing, and it can't be reasoned with. We all have things in our lives that the devil tries to tempt us with to fill the void inside. You've made a first brave step in coming here and confessing and seeking the help of others who have similar experiences to yourself. I am happy that you can admit this to yourself at 20. So many men are in denial and I think decades of it makes it even harder to overcome. I know I shouldn't put those of religious authority under a microscope but my father is an elder in the church and suffered from porn addiction. It pained me to watch him lead things in church when I was a teenage girl, knowing his dark secret. I can remember crying in the pew with my sister. It was similar with my husband as well, who is the son of a deacon. Just please do everything in your power to heal because my experiences have led my faith astray and caused me to question it. I pray that God will help you find freedom from this and the strength to rise again.
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