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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2010 2:55:10 GMT -7
Hi Everyone....
I went to my first S-Anon meeting yesterday. It just baffles me how many people from all walks of life are affected by sex addiction. And yet, it's only discussed with a celebrity is involved. Even then, the discussion includes jokes, sneers and "boy, do I wish I had his problem" comments.
Why does our society refuse to educated ourselves about something that can be so devastating to so many? It's time to take it out of the closet!! And that certainly doesn't mean putting up billboards, but a simple conversation with our children about the existence of sex addiction, the causes, signs and symptoms and the knowledge that there is treatment. We teach our kids not to smoke, drink, gamble and do drugs.....why aren't we teaching them about pornography as well?
My husband and I have always had open conversations about every subject at the dinner table. We wanted our kids to have the opportunity to discuss things they may have heard and address any questions they had. No subject is off limits. But never have we discussed sex addiction. We (the adults) were uneducated and had our own misconceptions about it.
We're still in the learning phase and trying to sort this all out. But my husband and I have already had discussions about when, how and what to talk to the kids about. I'm sure their reactions will includes jokes, sneers and "boy, do I wish I had that problem" comments, but that's a perfect reason to inform and teach a lesson!
That was just a thought going through my mind today....thanks for letting me express it!
AllAlone
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2010 3:56:09 GMT -7
GOOD FOR YOU!
One of the things I've learned about addictions in general and addictive cycles is that in families with addiction there are a lot of secrets. I think it is wonderful that your dinner table is an open forum. Bravo! Way to end the cycle!!!!!!!!!
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2010 4:10:43 GMT -7
I hope it works!!
allalone
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2010 5:55:33 GMT -7
As long as the entertainment and advertising industries live by the unfortunately correct premise that "sex sells," and fashion designers, buyers, and consumers fall in step, the fire of lust will be fueled, but those who get burned will be scorned for being stupid enough to get too close. It is so sad that the women who screamed about not wanting to be seen as sex objects do not refuse to dress the part, but are quick to blame men when they respond accordingly. Only when society as a whole rejects immodesty and impurity, and not just the most conservative of churches, will there be a real opportunity to begin to quench the wildfire of SA.
TruthSeeker
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2010 6:29:45 GMT -7
Dear Truthseeker,
You've just touched on something that I've been pondering: Modest dress. I've been thinking about undertaking a serious, comparative study of the world's great religions: Christianity, Judaism and Islam. I've been asking myself if the Muslim burka is a subjugation of women or if it is just a frank recognition of the fundamental nature of man. I don't expect an answer....it's just a question I ponder.
I think this is a great program: www.modestishottestfashionshow.com/
Best, DW
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2010 7:49:34 GMT -7
Just re-reading your post............regarding "celebrities" involved in sexual addiciton.
We, the wives of sex addicts, can learn from the Woods situation. For any wife of a sex addict who is harboring self-doubt about her attractiveness and/or her role in her husband's addiction..............PLEASE LOOK AT TIGER WOODS' WIFE.
Even Elin Nordegren was not "enough."
So........ladies...........please, please, please do not harbor any self-doubt or allow your husband to pressure you into cosmetic surgery. It's not you. It's him.
My best, DW
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2010 11:50:03 GMT -7
So true So true
my husband always said things like: jo you are drop dead georgous and my kids: mom you are "very" goodlooking...bla bla bla..to the point I would dress with caution never low tops never short dresses not too tight clothing but not like a prude but... HE STILL CHEATED!! now i wonder if some of these guys maybe are intimidated by their wives good looks no matter what and act out against that by checking out other women???....just a thought.
I agree the" world" bombards people with sex. The world has both men and women in this illusion yes we women are guilty of buying into the lie too!! they say sex sells ...I just saw an eye-glass poster sporting a nearly naked woman wearing glasses...are they trying to intimidate the females into buying glasses or looking like the other woman in the poster??.. and why DO they put those magazines in the check-out isles of all our grocery stores??..because we are standing there with not much else to do...easy to let our eyes wonder..the sexual poses,certain words...it's ALL ment to intimidate and entice!
The works of the flesh. are diametrically opposed to Gods Word no wonder the god of this world has blinded their eyes ..so that they will not come to the truth. that devil is 24/7 at work in the world..at work against us! If we are to take the scripures at face value then I say we are ALL in a spiritual battle against the enemy and are called to raise up a standard..not for the weak of heart eh? Stand strong men and women of God.
joanne
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2010 12:08:56 GMT -7
Dear Truthseeker,
How right you are! It's funny how more aware I am now of sexual images in advertising and on television.
allalone
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2010 23:27:22 GMT -7
Hi Everyone.... I went to my first S-Anon meeting yesterday. It just baffles me how many people from all walks of life are affected by sex addiction. And yet, it's only discussed with a celebrity is involved. Even then, the discussion includes jokes, sneers and "boy, do I wish I had his problem" comments. Why does our society refuse to educated ourselves about something that can be so devastating to so many? It's time to take it out of the closet!! And that certainly doesn't mean putting up billboards, but a simple conversation with our children about the existence of sex addiction, the causes, signs and symptoms and the knowledge that there is treatment. We teach our kids not to smoke, drink, gamble and do drugs.....why aren't we teaching them about pornography as well? My husband and I have always had open conversations about every subject at the dinner table. We wanted our kids to have the opportunity to discuss things they may have heard and address any questions they had. No subject is off limits. But never have we discussed sex addiction. We (the adults) were uneducated and had our own misconceptions about it. We're still in the learning phase and trying to sort this all out. But my husband and I have already had discussions about when, how and what to talk to the kids about. I'm sure their reactions will includes jokes, sneers and "boy, do I wish I had that problem" comments, but that's a perfect reason to inform and teach a lesson! That was just a thought going through my mind today....thanks for letting me express it! AllAlone Yes exactly. this topic is not brought out in the open, because they, the system, does not have the solution. The governemntal officials and politicians themselves are under the grips of this addiction. I got a hold of this astounding book, which totally clarifies the problem, explains it in detail and shares solutions to it. I used to be sexually fixated, but when I read the book , and applied the solutions to my life, I overcame sexual addictions completely. I simply cannot be seduced. book: OPEN TO BLISS his blog; sagehope.wordpress.com |
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2010 3:14:22 GMT -7
Just re-reading your post............regarding "celebrities" involved in sexual addiciton. We, the wives of sex addicts, can learn from the Woods situation. For any wife of a sex addict who is harboring self-doubt about her attractiveness and/or her role in her husband's addiction..............PLEASE LOOK AT TIGER WOODS' WIFE. Even Elin Nordegren was not "enough." So........ladies...........please, please, please do not harbor any self-doubt or allow your husband to pressure you into cosmetic surgery. It's not you. It's him. My best, DW |
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2010 3:48:50 GMT -7
hello godsgirl
was praying for you this morning!
you are right..it does try to corrode at our self-esteem..it is hard to not compare or start to doubt..all the more reason we need each other as sisters in God and to remind ourselves that it IS NOT our problem.. that it is a result of emptiness and pain on our husbands' part.The marriage is the highest example of Christ and the church..what better area for the devil to try to destroy... the devistation can be felt for genrations if not arrested. keep your heads up ladies!
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2010 3:56:26 GMT -7
Nor should you try to compete or compare yourself to the other women.........Godsgirl.
HE TOOK VOWS to keep himself only unto you. He has broken those vows and that is his issue...not yours.
I've been contemplating the rifts caused by this addiction and I'm just amazed at how this has impacted EVERY aspect of my life. At 10 months post discovery, I'm starting to see the ripples on the pond that are emanating from the initial impact of the rock on the surface of the pond. I can't even watch TV without being reminded of my husband's sex addiction. He had pictures of Giada DeLaurentis and Rachel Ray on his computer for masturbatory putposes. So, when their shows come on, I turn them off.
I don't trust my husband anymore and I frankly do not trust ANY male of the species at this point. I am ashamed to admit how I visualize each and every one of them. I would much rather deal with women in the workplace. I shun men at every opportunity. I see them as vulgar, disgusting creatures and I discount anything they say. The presumption has changed for all of them. I no longer presume that men are decent and honorable.
"Men are scum and women are stupid" is the tape that plays in my head. And I count myself among the stupid. Why didn't I see this? Why do we do the things we do? Why do we put up with the crap we put up with? Why didn't I leave him decades ago when I was tempted to do so? If only I had known then what I know now. I just can't seem to shake the notion that men are scum and women are stupid or perhaps a better way to describe "stupid" is to say that we're far too conditioned to serve and accept. Game over.
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2010 4:42:26 GMT -7
Hi DW,
It is, indeed, amazing that God would choose to redeem us scum, both male and female. I realize that what you wrote stems from deep hurt, but is it not shaky ground for us to generalize about groups of people being unredeemable, or even less redeemable than ourselves?
TruthSeeker
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2010 6:03:31 GMT -7
Truthseeker,
I just reread my post and I did not say nor even think the word "unredeemable." Every one of us is redeemable.
I said and I meant my presumption has changed. I no longer believe men are honorable and decent. Men are scum until proven otherwise. I shun them. I do not like dealing with them. I see them as vile, vulgar and disgusting creatures and visualize them as such.
My best, DW
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