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Post by Deleted on Aug 29, 2011 11:30:58 GMT -7
Worked out again tonight. Feeling tired, but good.
To get the best possible workout in at 4 PM, I find I need to eat a balanced MEAL at 2 PM. Dragging today.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 29, 2011 17:59:42 GMT -7
I have been walking daily and not eatting sugar or flour MOST of the time. I also have been reading about betrayal bonds and trauma bonds, which is a reason why despite all the pain and horror i cant make up my mind to divorce him.
All the best! to you DW you deserve it, as does everyone here!
N2bfreee
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Post by Deleted on Aug 29, 2011 20:32:46 GMT -7
I too have been walking daily, mostly on my own first thing in the morning, just as the sun is rising.
It's a truly magical time. Sometimes I listen to music and sometimes just the sea! Very uplifting!
Holding things together is tough when I find things on his laptop as I did yesterday, but that is what I'm doing...holding things together.
I am saving money in order to see a professional who I'm sure can help me.
LadyP
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2011 2:32:18 GMT -7
Dear LadyP,
I've seen several "professionals"....none of them were able to help me, really.
So far, the best referral has come from the American Association of Sex Addiction Therapy at 719-330-2425.
You really need to talk with someone who has "been there, done that, burned the T-shirt" as the saying goes.
My best to you, DW
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2011 2:35:31 GMT -7
Dear Need2BFree,
Good for you! I am convinced that staying away from processed carbs like sugar and flour is a really good idea. I'm staying away from most carbs, eating only vegetables that are low carb: Broccoli, cauliflower, green/red peppers, summer zuchinni, cabbage, etc. No seeds or root veggies.
This seems to be helping me to lose weight.
Good luck! Keep up the good work!!
My best, DW
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2011 9:33:54 GMT -7
Dear Need2BFree,
I just attended another support group meeting for wives of intimacy anorexics and part of my exercise for the day led me to confess to the group that I am sorry for staying in this marriage and I am concerned about what it did to the kids. The group members assured me that we just do the best we can for the kids, stay or leave, and the important thing is that they have the love and support of at least one healthy parent.
Please do what you need to do to maintain your health and sanity throughout. Please don't be like the mother who gives her children the last morsel of food, starving herself emotionally or physically, such that the kids are left with no parent.
My best, DW
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2011 16:57:06 GMT -7
Dear DW,
To some extent its too late for that, I too was the emotional giver backbone and it has taken its tole on me in every way.
I am trying to focus on me and.my health, and I actually went and got my hair done in a nice salon somethinh i never do anymore.
I am trying to remember who i was when he met me and.get her back!
Its gonna take a lot of work, as i have been learning more about abusive relationships and how i have been abused and that is why it us hard to get out i have very little confidence anymore.
So glad you are in my life! Everyone here! Your words are a ray of hope for my future.
Love,
Need2Bfree
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2011 3:21:39 GMT -7
I have wonderful news, and I want to share it here ladies!
My health has suffered with my husbands addiction, there is no doubt about that. Last year I was told I was borderline diabetic and would need more tests. I wasn't happy about this and went away and read as much as I could!
Yesterday I had the results from the latest tests. Everything is normal and functioning well, and my glucose levels are DOWN!!
This is brilliant news and I will keep on walking every morning as I do now and making even bigger steps to LOOK AFTER ME!
Just had to share my good news
LadyP
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2011 9:50:39 GMT -7
WONDERFUL NEWS!!!!!!! KEEP IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!
Self-care is so important.......
I missed my trip to the gym today. Had to file a motion for reconsideration. ;-(. Nuts.
But I'm HAPPY FOR YOU AND YOUR PROGRESS!!!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
My best, DW
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2011 18:16:52 GMT -7
I have started attending a 12 step group called FA food addicts in recovery, these women are amazing they have lost 100s of pounds by primarily never eatting sugar in any form or any type of flour.
They say i need a sponsor to really know the concepts but i am sooooooooooo ready to give up my binge foods and be beautiful and healthy again!
I have been really practicing forgiveness toward my SA husband, not to say i want to stay married, but i am no longer focusing on him or us and trying to fix this broken relationship.
I want to live in peace with him and have a peaceful break up if i feel the same as i do by June next year.
Keep up the great work ladies!
Love,
Need2bfree
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2011 2:35:52 GMT -7
Way to go, LadyP! That is great news!
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2011 8:07:57 GMT -7
That's wonderful news, Need2BFree!!!!!
I really feel better now that I'm not eating flour or sugar and exercising. It takes a while to reach the point where you FEEL and SEE results, but once you do, it becomes a self-perpetuating process.
Good for you!!!! Please keep us posted on your progress.....even little steps! Let's celebrate!
Kaizen! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaizen ) Tiny steps forward every day!!!!!
My best, DW
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2011 17:54:28 GMT -7
Thanks DW!!!,
Yes! Thosesimple sugars take their toll on us, i need to follow your lead and exercise, taking those baby steps feel great!
Have a great weekend everyone! Take care of you. ,
Need2bfree
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Post by Deleted on Sept 7, 2011 8:47:18 GMT -7
I just presented step 1 in the 12-step guide for wives of intimacy anorexics (Married and alone) to my wives of intimacy anorexia group.
This was an emotionally exhausting experience, but increased my self-awareness tremendously. I think I was able to identify and write about the salt and pepper shakers because I was doing this step work.
It's like a window has been opened into my memories and self-awareness.
This is really important ladies. Please find a group where you feel you fit. I definitely did not fit in the wives of sex addicts group, as I did not know about my husband's sexual addiction. I feel I fit in the wives of intimacy anorexics group because I definitely knew something was wrong, I hauled him to marriage counseling, but I tolerated it. I never should have tolerated it. I can admit that I have a problem and I never should have tolerated the way he treated/treats me. Never.
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