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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2010 4:26:57 GMT -7
Thank-you ladies for the posts you put here they help me alot. I'm not alone! so.. How do i say this without sounding like a fool? I'm the type of person who wants things done yesterday. I think I've stated my hubby has a serious crack problem along with a porn/lust addiction and has left to another province(not such a bad thing). I am having a hard time trying to get a divorce lawyer when really it shouldn't be that hard so I've tryed to set up a legal aid appt. and couldn't get in.. need to come back they work on a first come first served basis and this is just to see if they'll approve me! Then it's compounded by the fact that I keep getting this "feeling" that I need to wait (oh there's that word!) A pastor at my church and a divorce care person both have said don't do anything just leave it for now (that was 1 month ago)...... so here I am trying to tell God that I don't want to wait and besides what am I waiting for..him to call?? well, haven't you noticed Lord that he hasn't called? wait? .. for what..me to heal more?..wouldn't it make it easier for me to have a divorce?...you know the whole move on thing..So, then after some time in prayer and praise I tell myself..well it doesn't really make that much difference right now anyways as I have work to do on me and getting things done that matter to me ....but somedays-days where I haven't had a lot of sleep- I find myself thinking I don't want to be putting off getting a divorce if all I'm really doing is waiting for him...that could be a setup for me to be kicking myself later. Not fair Lord that I should have to wait. The thought HAS occured to me that maybe the Lord is working on him and wants me to keep my hands out of it.. and I tend to..well..want things done yesterday!! lol life is good
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2010 18:50:48 GMT -7
Dear Joanne,
I am not a counselor and have no background in psychology whatsoever. I just thought I'd pass along a piece of advice that I received. Your post sounds like your still hurting and in the midst of all this unimaginable chaos. My suggestion would be to wait and not make decisions while you are still in this frame of mind. Please don't misunderstand me. My suggestion to wait has nothing to do with possible reconciliation. I just think you need to resolve some of the feelings your having and find some peace.
You need to take the time to heal and find the person you once were and want to be. Your decision needs to be independent of him. Independent of the Lord's plan for him. The Lord has a plan for you, too and you need to work to discover that plan and yourself. Divorce is a life decision, just as getting married was. Take the time to make yourself whole once again.
Emotionally you sound as if you are in a state of flux. Divorce is a piece of paper that has it's own emotions to deal with. You have enough on your plate right now. First things first. Deal with the issues at hand before adding more.
The Lord knows that I've "wanted things done yesterday" on many occasions. Thankfully, he is wise enough to know that's not in MY best interest. You have a gapping wound that needs to heal. And like all wounds (I know you don't want to hear it...) it's going to take time.
Try to reflect on the old you, the one that existed before all this garbage! Don't you miss her? Take a slow deep breath. It's not going to be easy, but soon enough you'll begin to find more good days then bad. The old you made the decision to get married, now let her make the decision to get divorced.
Wishing you a quiet mind and peaceful heart!
All Alone
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