Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2010 22:58:00 GMT -7
Howdy, im not entirely sure hwo to get started here however i i realized its time for me to fix my problem and get help. I'm an 18 year old, and im currently in the army. I picked up a masturbation issue at 14, and it soon escalated to pornography, when i was a senior in high school i lost my virginty in a one night stand, when i graduated last year i immediately joined the army following a dream i have had most of my life, and all i know is its step one in Gods great plan for my adult life. Im in a combat unit stationed in germany. Here drinking age is 16, and prostitution is legal. I have seen prostitutes here, and i realize i have a serious sexual addiction that is tearing me apart. i may not have a family, and be very respected at work for just getting things done, however my relationships suffer. I was born and raised in church, my father was a pastor. I prayed to receive christ as a 6 year old, and when i was 12 i felt i call to step out in faith and learned what a relationship with christ really meant. In mid school and high school i wa sin church every time the doors were open, in high school i even had a job there, i took up leadership in my youth group and alot of younger youth looked up to me. i was the president of bible club in high school, and the whole time i was a hypocrate telling people of a moral life and of gods grace the whole time i was masturbating and watching pornography. I would quit for as long as 4 months some times but as soon as a crises would hit i would be back to it. I did 6 months without any of it at fort leonardwood for my basic training and ait. as soon as i finished there i was back into porn and masturbation. I now realize that its a battle i cant fight on my own, its me trying to fill a hole in me with the wrong things. I'm now trying to destroy this addiction and fill my soul with jesus rather than sex. I came here to seek help and other christians who share my problem. I'm tired of being in love with sin rather than christ. I dont want to live an emptylife. I want to genuinely love and be loved, To allow jesus to take over my life.