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Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2010 12:28:10 GMT -7
Hi, I only registered yesterday. I was attracted here because there seems to be a lot of sensible talk going on, honest and helpful.
My wife left me last year and I've been dealing with the total mess my life is in. I've been struggling with stuff on the Internet for some time (which obviously affected my marriage) but the main problem was that I couldn't be honest about anything. So I bottled it up inside and it just festered.
God's broken me and I've seen all the hurt I've caused like I was watching a movie but I'm struggling with guilt and regret and the loneliness and hopelessness has been a hole that I've been filling with porn. The one thing I want is to have my wife back but I know that would be stupid if I've not made a real break from my past and be the integrated man God wants me to be. And there, I think, is the key, that I should seek God and his righteousness. But its easier said than done.
I'm studying the Bible, getting teaching and fellowship (that got lost in my marriage) but I still tend to keep things to myself. Its not always easy to stay positive and I struggle to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope I can find encouragement here and help to encourage others who are hurting and struggling.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2010 23:23:54 GMT -7
Welcome, Joel!
This board is pretty quiet, so do look for other sources of support as well.
Keeping to ourselves doesn't really work, does it? Addiction - this addiction in particular - is all about isolation and hiding; and one can't overcome isolation alone. For many of us, working with other addicts in 12-step or other support groups and learning to understand ourselves through counseling have been essential parts of treating what is both a psychological and a spiritual problem. It's hard to reach out and be open. I spent my whole life afraid to do that. But it's something I need to do.
Welcome, in any case! May you find the peace you seek.
Tim M.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2010 23:39:33 GMT -7
Thanks Tim.
The thing is finding a support group. Therapy seems to be a much bigger thing in the States than over here. You're right about isolation but its a process changing the habits of a lifetime.
BTW, my name is not actually Joel. That's taken from Joel 2:25 'I will restore the years the locust has eaten.'
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2010 1:35:02 GMT -7
If you're open to 12-step meetings, which have been a godsend to me, then places to look online include sexaa.org/slaafws.org/sa.org/sca-recovery.org/As I recall, SAA, the first link, has the most meetings in the UK. There are a ton of them in London, but other major English cities usually have meetings, as well as some smaller places. Scottish coverage is spottier, and I don't recall about Wales and Northern Ireland. You might get lucky, though. If there aren't nearby meetings, it's worth ringing up the closest meetings and seeing if they know of meetings that aren't on the Internet lists, or if they know people close to you with whom you might meet locally or with whom you might carpool to meetings. Even though 12-step meetings are also sort of an American thing, they are more available in the UK than one would at first suspect. Finding S-fellowship meetings in this country can be hard, too, though. They're neither as common or as publicized as AA meetings, for instance. Tim M.
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