Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2010 9:36:53 GMT -7
Hi,
I am new to this group. I will give you a little back ground, I have been married for almost 9 years to a man who has had a pornography addiction since before we were even married. I first found out about it a few weeks before our wedding. So confused and blindly in love I believed him when he said it was something that would go away once he could have sex with his wife. We have lived a roller coaster ever since. Well, lets call it the never ending cycle. I horribly draining and painful cycle with.... me finding out he has once again looked at pornography .... me getting mad, hurt and bitter.... Not knowing what to do, (me being a christian wife).... I sought help multiple times from our church and everyone just said I need to have more sex with him.... Yeah, that was horribly wrong. So I try and forget until it happens again. this had continued for almost 9 years and I am SO TIRED It has only gotten worse over the years and I feel like an enabler since I have allowed it and have lived with it. He says every time he wants help but doesn't seek it out or stop. I have scheduled interventions with pastors. I have read book after book to try and help me and him. I have even bought him books that he has never read. I have asked him to go to counseling, giving ultimatums if he didn't. But never following through. I recently found out he has been getting worse and finding google searches of my sisters. I am so hurt and confused. We have three children together and want to leave and feel so done with this marriage. After telling him I was leaving, which I plan on doing, he said he will go to counseling he really wants to try and doesnt want to lose me. This only makes me more angry. Why has it taken him this long to desire help or is he lying again just to keep me. I don't know but I do know that I have given this marriage 110% and am tired. Do I have a biblical right to leave. I really see no hope for our marriage. I feel drained and tired of trying.
hopeless
I am new to this group. I will give you a little back ground, I have been married for almost 9 years to a man who has had a pornography addiction since before we were even married. I first found out about it a few weeks before our wedding. So confused and blindly in love I believed him when he said it was something that would go away once he could have sex with his wife. We have lived a roller coaster ever since. Well, lets call it the never ending cycle. I horribly draining and painful cycle with.... me finding out he has once again looked at pornography .... me getting mad, hurt and bitter.... Not knowing what to do, (me being a christian wife).... I sought help multiple times from our church and everyone just said I need to have more sex with him.... Yeah, that was horribly wrong. So I try and forget until it happens again. this had continued for almost 9 years and I am SO TIRED It has only gotten worse over the years and I feel like an enabler since I have allowed it and have lived with it. He says every time he wants help but doesn't seek it out or stop. I have scheduled interventions with pastors. I have read book after book to try and help me and him. I have even bought him books that he has never read. I have asked him to go to counseling, giving ultimatums if he didn't. But never following through. I recently found out he has been getting worse and finding google searches of my sisters. I am so hurt and confused. We have three children together and want to leave and feel so done with this marriage. After telling him I was leaving, which I plan on doing, he said he will go to counseling he really wants to try and doesnt want to lose me. This only makes me more angry. Why has it taken him this long to desire help or is he lying again just to keep me. I don't know but I do know that I have given this marriage 110% and am tired. Do I have a biblical right to leave. I really see no hope for our marriage. I feel drained and tired of trying.
hopeless