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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2008 17:53:58 GMT -7
Wow... well it definitely seems that I'm not alone. At any rate, I'm a porn and MB addict, and I'm looking for support from people that are (or have been) in similar situations. I've gotten to the point where I can be honest with myself and acknowledge the addiction, but I'm still not sure what the next step is. I want to take this slowly, because I've tried taking it quickly before (e.g. erasing all the porn from my hard drive and going cold turkey), and I just ended up desiring it all the more. Any help would be much appreciated.  |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2008 23:43:16 GMT -7
welcome wookie! i have to say that i love that user name you chose. i have a good friend who is a mega star wars fan.
admitting you have a problem is a huge step in the right direction. i am praying that you find success in breaking this addiction.
sam
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2008 4:29:16 GMT -7
Hello Wookie,
You are not alone. There are a lot of us who are hooked on P/MB. Uncontrollable sexual obsessions are really the definition of a sexual addiction.
I am a recoverying sex addict (SA). I have been SA free for 2 weeks now. I found that by far the best approach to really getting rid of your compulsions is to read about SA and if you are dedicated to recovery join an SAA group. There are a lot of people who are just like us. If you need more information, let me know.
Good luck and God Bless
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2008 4:52:33 GMT -7
Wookiee,
Welcome!
I'm afraid I only have time for a very quick reply, but I wonder if there isn't another way to look at your situation. I, too, threw away all my porn and vowed never to return to it many, many times. But my problem wasn't that I was doing too much and that I needed to keep the porn and try to reduce my consumption gently. That also didn't work.
My problem was that I wasn't doing enough. I not only had to get rid of the porn. I also had to start looking at what inside me was causing me to keep coming back to the porn. I needed to start addressing my isolation and my fears and my lack of trust and my lack of faith and a lot of flaws I never knew were there. For me, that has taken going to 12-step meetings and working the steps, and it has taken counseling, and it has taken getting honest with the people around me, and it has taken reading and prayer and meditation. It's hard work. It's not over. But the work of addiction recovery isn't saying goodbye gradually to a bad habit. It's learning a whole new way of life and becoming a whole new person.
I needed, and still need, to do a lot more, not less.
Just me, of course.
Tim M.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2010 20:12:51 GMT -7
Thanks for the replies... I've lurked here off and on over the past two years, but I still struggle.
TimM, it's taken me two years to get to the understanding and point that you made right away. Thank you for being open and honest, and sorry that I didn't respond right away (or even in a decently timely manner).
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Post by Deleted on Aug 13, 2010 4:41:45 GMT -7
Wookiee,
You're a long way from the first addict to start looking for help and find they aren't quite ready for it. I went out and bought Carnes' "Out of the Shadows," only to decide it didn't really describe me, and that I couldn't really imagine going to meetings anyway. I got rid of the book, which it embarrassed me to own, and spent a bunch more years suffering before I had suffered enough to try it again. So I think I get where you may be.
Also, what I said in 2008 wasn't exactly "right away." It was after 3 years of meetings and step work and counseling.
Are there new steps you're ready now to take that might make a difference? The goal is, after all, to be happy, joyous and free, and if we're still struggling, then there's still something more we need to do or to face or to surrender.
Welcome back to posting, in any case!
Tim M.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2010 4:42:48 GMT -7
Yes, I'm taking new steps. I've joined a "Faithful & True" group and have now been sexually sober for 2-1/2 months. The urges are still there, but they're not as powerful as they were before all this (or even as much as they were two weeks ago).
:cool:
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