I'm a new member here and I'm addicted to masturbation. I'm only 19 and I'm female. I know it might seem strange for a female to have this problem. It makes me more ashamed of it. What I have a concern about it that whenever I fantisize I think about my female friends. I don't know why I do this. I'm heterosexual. The only thing I think of why I might do this is because the friends I think about are safe people to me. My addiction stems from my past. I was sexually abused and raped at 3 or 4 and again from age 10 or 11 to two months before I turned 18. I was scared to death when my abuser (my brother) touched me, but when I was alone, I would do what he did to me to explore the feelings it gave me. I was so confused. My fantasy and my masturbation seems to be separate. I fantasize to feel safe about sex. When I masturbate, it's like I'm raping myself. The only thing that makes some sense it that I might think about my female friends when I fantisize because they make me feel safe and loved. Feelings I've gone quite a while without. I just don't understand it very well. Does anyone have any insight on this? Please help! God bless you and thanks for reading.
i am sammy. i know exactly what you are feeling. i have been there myself. i am so sorry you have been hurt the way you have. i think the reason you are fantasizing about your female friends is because they are safe for you to think about. you have been deeply wounded by a guy and girls seem less threatening. i certainly know how that feels. i actually thought i was a lesbian when i was younger because i took that fear of guys and acted on an attraction to other girls. i really wish i had never experimented with that, but it is too late to change the past. i am so proud that you see your need to be free of the addiction to masturbation. i would be happy to be an accountabilty partner for you if you like. i will certainly be in prayer for you.
Post by doleorequiem on Nov 2, 2009 10:40:43 GMT -7
I have found in many of my problems, many issues are caused by "Associations". The association or normal circumstances with unhealthy thoughts. For example, when your brother did those things, you associated them with as you said: fear, disgust, etc. There's something in us, a survival mechanism, that will associate thoughts that are not from God with actions that are beyond our control.
Guilt is something we often feel for physical stimulation during an inappropriate time. My first experience with another man was nothing short of painful torture. It was horrible. But my mind assigned things to it: Like in a way, I did enjoy it. In a truly perverse way, as my first sexual act with another human being, my brain was immediately wired incorrectly.
What Satan will often do is put a wall of fear around these painful, traumatized areas of your mind. This is to keep you from finding out the truth about what happened, and why you feel the way you do.
Please understand something I have learned. Oftentimes, when you are in the middle of a sin, Satan will attach other thoughts, too. Please try to understand that I am trying to give this as an example: During the viewing of pornography when I was very young, seeing some nasty things on the TV, Satan put into my mind, me in the place of the woman. Satan saw a weakness, and took advantage of it. Unbridled thoughts of lust were stimulated, and an addiction was formed.
This, with the fact that my brain and body had already suffered so much trauma, put me in a terrible place.
The times when I got my biggest breakthroughs (And I am by no means "cured", BTW) were when I was so sick and tired of the addiction, the shame, that I literally ran headlong into the fear, the terror, the shame, everything that seems to bounce your attention off of it. It was then that God worked in me to show me so much about my torment.
When, with Gods help you learn about these associations, you will begin to actually understand and make sense of these addictions and feelings. Please, today, ask God to show you the truth about your addiction. There is healing, there is so much good for you, your future is very bright. However, it is also a battle, a struggle, and growing in God is rarely something that has been fun, or easy for me. I'll be honest with you, there were times I entertained the thought of solace in death, rather than moving forward.
I hope you will take my words and pray about them, and ask God to show you the truth about your situation.
Magnopere patior. Da mihi, Deus, lupoque meo requiem æternam.
In my opinion, when you think about your female friends, it is because you crave love... Women are usually more sensitive and heart oriented than men are.
When you were raped, it is likely your heart was closed off to men, in a way. So in your damaged soul, only women can care for you, you believe. But this is not true... You were damaged severely when you were young... Thankfully, God is willing, and wants to heal us.
JakeW.. I agree with your post in many areas. We all crave "love" and "God is willing, and wants to heal us." I do believe once we start healing, the real meaning of Love starts to appear. I think so many both men and women confuse love and lust. I know I thought they were a combo package, but I don't think that any more.
Amymine712: It's central
Feb 28, 2020 5:08:47 GMT -7
Will: 'Why should I stay in the grave when the stone has been rolled away?' - SavedbyGrace
Mar 3, 2020 23:17:39 GMT -7
Amymine712: This spring forward stuff is for the birds. Wish I still lived in Arizona.
Mar 8, 2020 5:56:26 GMT -7
teetop: Yeh, time changes are a nuisance, even though we've been doing it for many years.
Apr 10, 2020 4:29:14 GMT -7
teetop: Well at this time we are still in lockdown mode to keep us safe.
Apr 17, 2020 8:56:54 GMT -7
Amymine712: Lock down is a trial run for communism...and I have fully decided I will never vote for anyone that would bring that into my country.
Apr 18, 2020 7:30:32 GMT -7
teetop: Well Amymine712, it has been years since I looked up some measures congress passed a very long time ago. President Kennedy just before he was assassinated in one of his very last speeches he warned the American People just about that type of power.
Apr 20, 2020 20:15:19 GMT -7
teetop: Kennedy warned the American people that there are certain circumstances where the President could declare a national disaster and put the whole country under martial law can under special circumstances become a Dictator.
Apr 21, 2020 3:51:42 GMT -7
savedbygrace: We are in a very unusual circumstance. Lockdown probably not the most accurate word. Both our state governors as well as the federal government have restricted behoviors that would have caused many more people to die.
Apr 21, 2020 6:31:04 GMT -7
teetop: Right-on savedbygrace, though we may not like it, it is true that many people ignore these simple safety measures.
Apr 21, 2020 23:16:30 GMT -7
Amymine712: Unfortunately some are taking their new found powers too far. Michigan's governor being one.
Apr 22, 2020 6:15:57 GMT -7
teetop: OK, what did Michigan's govenor do?
Apr 22, 2020 7:13:00 GMT -7
Amymine712: Banning people from doing yard work, buying seeds, cooking outside, driving with another person...
Apr 23, 2020 2:30:51 GMT -7
Amymine712: Montana one town has to wear arm bands to buy things at stores.
Apr 23, 2020 2:32:14 GMT -7
javajake: May the Lord protect us all from this strange virus. Also from the evil politicians who will use it to take control over our freedoms.
Apr 23, 2020 6:52:51 GMT -7
teetop: As most know that if we take the time to obey God, we will rightly decern the times. I would also point out that if we take note
May 14, 2020 16:20:15 GMT -7
teetop: that though the death toll seems high, I would suggest you look at the numbers a little closer. Take note as to how many are dying with complications from something else. And secondly, the death toll is nowhere near the number incurred in 1918, [/b
May 14, 2020 16:25:54 GMT -7
teetop: from the Spanish Flu. Secondly, Christ spoke about these very things, Matt. 24
May 14, 2020 16:33:19 GMT -7
Amymine712: You got it Tee!
May 15, 2020 18:25:27 GMT -7
Dominic: Yes, I am reminded that Jesus spoke of plagues in the end times. I think the COVID-19 meets that criteria.
May 21, 2020 15:43:10 GMT -7