Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2005 5:18:06 GMT -7
I have been searching for a support forum since the FOD closed their forums down, and I have realized that no matter which side of this you are on, we all need support. Let me tell you a little bit about myself: I am 48, a very young 48 I might add...LOL. As of Dec.14th, We will have been married 26 years. I was married once before, but he liked other women, so that one did not last very long, we were married approx. 2 years and that was a lifetime ago. My husband and I have 4 children, 3 daughters, and a son. We also have 5 grandchildren, and 3 "step" grandchildren. I have 2 cats, 1 dog, and 3 birds. I am a homemaker, and an in-home daycare provider. We live in small town USA. As I said earlier, my first husband ran around, and I could not deal with that, yet my husband now, and for the past 15-20? years has had this obsession with porn, and I am still here. Maybe there is something wrong with me for my first husband to run around, and now this. I do love my husband with everything I have, yet it just does not seem to be enough for him. When he went through a serious bout with alcohol, I stood beside him, and towards the end, I started going to AlAnon meetings. He finally quit drinking as much, he has an occassional beer. I know that from all of this, my husband does have an addictive personality, as I have seen him slide from one addiction to another. As far as I know, the porn thing started shortly after the birth of or son, who is now 21, but I am not really sure. It will get better for awhile, sometimes it will completely stop, but then it starts back up again. Could it be because of me? Am I doing or not doing something right? He says no, but his actions say yes. I just do not know where to turn. I feel lost, but not so alone, since finding this forum. The caring and support have made me feel better, as far as knowing that there is other people going thru what I am, and I am by no means saying that misery loves company, because if I had my way, no one would ever have to feel the hurt that I feel, ever. Society has allowed this evil to blossom, and as long as there is a demand, they will supply. Thanx for listening.